Argylle review: Henry Cavill’s horrendous spy romp has some of the stupidest action scenes you’ll ever see

by TheTelegraph

21 comments

  1. **From The Telegraph’s film critic Robbie Collin:**

    It feels like an achievement of sorts that while no one in Argylle can actually pronounce the name Argylle properly, this would not make a list of the 50 most annoying things about the film.

    Still, it chafes the ear on a near minute-to-minute basis. There’s no stressed second syllable here: instead the whole cast comes clumping down on the first, like visiting American golfers who spent the last week in Glass-cow and are now passing through the western Highlands on their way for some mo the Lawknuss.

    Not that this woeful espionage caper, directed by Matthew Vaughn from a script by Jason Fuchs, could be accused of going big on details generally. Its heroine, a mousy author called Elly Conway (Bryce Dallas Howard), has written a best-selling series of spy novels – which, in a feat of soaring laziness, are titled Argylle Book One, Argylle Book Two, Argylle Book Three, and so on.

    During a promotional tour for Argylle Book Whatever, Elly is accosted on a train by a genuine spy, Sam Rockwell’s Aidan, who informs her that her life is in grave danger because her plots are suspiciously mirroring events in the real world of global espionage.

    How this can possibly be the case is Argylle’s centrepiece secret, and one which critics have (reasonably) been asked not to disclose. However, it doesn’t give away anything beyond a further glimpse of the film’s abject crumminess to reveal this narrative zigzag has simply been lifted wholesale from one of the of the 21st century’s most famous and widely beloved spy thrillers.

    Essentially, this means the twist ends up being: “We have, in fact, just remade [insert title here] with jokes,” though said jokes hardly justify the effort, and largely for reasons of technique rather than taste.

    Playing Conway’s imagined version of Agent Argylle himself is Henry Cavill – who, despite being at the front and centre of the entire promotional campaign, barely appears in the film. (The same goes for John Cena, Dua Lipa and Ariana DeBose: perhaps this is a twist too.) Instead, most scenes involve Howard and Rockwell running somewhere, while being pursued by some of evil spymaster Bryan Cranston’s goons.

    **Read more here:** https://www.telegraph.co.uk/films/0/argylle-review-henry-cavill-dua-lipa-john-cena/

  2. > It feels like an achievement of sorts that while no one in Argylle can actually pronounce the name Argylle properly, this would not make a list of the 50 most annoying things about the film. Still, it chafes the ear on a near minute-to-minute basis. There’s no stressed second syllable here: instead the whole cast comes clumping down on the first, like visiting American golfers who spent the last week in _Glass-cow_ and are now passing through the western Highlands on their way for some mo the _Lawknuss_.

    Now I feel like I need to watch this movie (once it comes to Apple, natch), just to annoy this reviewer.

  4. So, it’s probably fun movie, by some big actors having fun.

  5. This movie critic seems to have focused only on how long the actors are appearing in the movie and not story….

  6. Critics don’t like the movie? Cool I’m going to love this movie.

  7. Critics seem to always want every movie to be some kind of groundbreaking evolution of the medium and some deep introspection.

    Why can’t things just be fun?

  8. I still think it looks fun. I already thought it was just a version of Romancing the Stone, I’m not put off that it’s derivative of any other spy/action movie.

  10. Nah, guys, Robbie Collin from The Telegraph didn’t like it, so it won’t be worth your time.

    Shame, because I thought it looked like a really dumb, fun action movie that you can just switch off and enjoy, but if the book titles in the movie are lazy, and no one can pronounce his name properly, then that’s that, I guess.

  11. I could’ve sworn by the silly cgi cat that this would be an Oscar front runner

  12. This isn’t a Henry Cavill movie. Placing the blame on him is stupid. He’s barely in the movie.

  13. It’s so funny the minute critics take a dislike to something people who haven’t seen the movie start using “fun” as a buzz word to defend said movie

  14. I’ll level with you. I like Henry Cavill and want him to make more stuff. So I’d probably watch a film that was just him walking around and pointing at things and saying what they are.

  15. But it’s fun though. And that’s what I’m looking for. Not everything needs to be a cinematic breakthrough like Avatar.

  19. Is it just me or is any movie that has trailers on TV with black bars telling you the name of the movie and the date it comes out during the whole trailer, always a bad movie?

  20. I remember when this starred Sandra Bullock and Channing Tatum.

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