Received this genuine customer service email today

by kerbearrrr

31 comments
  1. People just can’t fucking help themselves

    Get your tongue out of strangers trousers

  2. Emma lie and lie and lie again. Horrible company to deal with and I had the same sickening emails.

    Allow three months for your order to arrive if you do buy from them.

  3. They know what they’re doing. They know pasting this into every response is going to result in social media posts and good publicity.

  4. Dear Dave

    Your mattress is unable to be delivered today

    Only a true legend like you can sleep another night on the sofa. Realising the dream of owning a bed but not yet able to sleep on it, the anticipation must make you realise how lucky you are Dave.

    Please have an amazing day Dave

    Regards,
    Someone who slept well

    Please complete our feedback form for a chance to win a free burger from the Isle of Skye. Valid only from 30-31/02/2024

  5. There’s an incredibly depressed copywriter somewhere out there who had to swallow every ounce of their pleading pride to type that.

    Honestly, I _hope_ that was written by an LLM, because if that was a person—a real person, who loves to write and has managed to make it their living—they’re probably not doing great, today.

  6. That’s so cringe, as others have pointed out, they will write this for everyone.

  7. You registered your interest in an online form and set your name as legend, you legend. 

  8. See, if it was a close friend who said this sort of thing, it holds weight. When it’s a faceless corporation or company it just feels desperate…

  9. Capitalist bullshit to make you think they care. They don’t. You’re just money.

    We love you, though.

  10. Why is the rest of it normal corporate speak and that one paragraph completely bonkers as though they’re pretending to be someone’s mum. (Not my mum though, she would be sick before she said this.)

  11. Is customer service on par with their emails using US spelling?

    Edit: on mobile and can’t get this comment to make sense. Sheet!

  12. Worst customer service ever. Took 3 months and 3 attempts to get my mattress. Countless hours on the phone. Zero sorry, zero compensation for the delays and false promises. Cancel and run is my advice.

  13. How can you “rest assured” if you can’t get the mattress to rest on?

  14. We had an Emma mattress and it started to sag (very slightly) after 4 years. It seemed perfectly okay to me but my wife was complaining of a sore back but I’m not convinced it was the mattress.

    We got in touch with the company, sent them a couple of pictures and they sent us a new mattress.

    So no complaints from me.

  15. I was leaving a cafe the other day and the person told me to “have the best day ever”. I get it, but it’s also an expectation that I can’t live up to since my son was born 🤷🏻‍♂️

  16. Putting aside the fact that all foam mattresses are shite and will sag within 2 years, and that all the supposed warranties and guarantees only take into account sagging when you’re *not using the mattress*…

    This is still better customer service than Dunelm who accidentally ordered me a double bed with a small double mattress and then demanded I pay for a double mattress while I wait for them to collect and refund the small-double.

  17. I know that if anyone says things like that, that they’re lying and I disregard the rest of what they’ve said

    Because I *know* I’m nothing special. Not every seed is destined to become a mighty tree. Some of us just coast through life until we’re eaten by a 1-legged city pigeon

    I don’t know what this “hidden potential” I’m meant to have is nor how to find it if it does exist, but I feel like it would be more probable to prove the existence of God or ancient aliens than find the “potential” in me

    If I received this it would just be kicking me when I’m already down, really

  18. I had the worst customer service experience with them when their delivery driver kept failing to deliver my mattress! I ended up having to cancel the order in the end and could get a refund for the delivery fee, despite them not actually delivering it

  19. Well that’s really cringey

    Also, I call bullshit on the unprecedented demand thing…

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