Zis is a trick to get our 4-layer toilet päper. But wir are immune to your southern Propaganda.
Bidet get more and more popular in my area, aka I installed a lot more of them than a few years ago.
At this point just get a japanese toilet. They’re fucking awesome and are better than a bidet in any way.
We clean our ass with tp too tho.
look im gonna explain this once for all for all barbarians:
you poop > clean with tp(if you still have fecal material you do it again) > go to the bidet with your ass hole facing the water jet > put intimate soap on hand and wash it > take towel(for ass only) and dry yourself up, last you wash your hands for a more solid hand hygiene.
This is fine for southern Europeans with no work ethic who don’t spend enough time at work to shit. Nobody wants to use a bidet at work with everyone else’s arse juice on it.
Y’all acting like wet wipes are unobtainable
Japanese Toilet: Am i a joke to you?
The best line I ever got from a bidet user was this:
If you touch poop with your hands, do you go and wash them, or do you wipe it with paper and move on?
Bidet = Second World
Don’t you people shower?
I have a full body shower every time I shit, like a normal person
Paper until no matter comes with tp, then one wet wipe until its coming out clean, finally one more tp to dry.
Even a savage like me uses a bidet
Nothing stops a pooey shower – have a poo then straight in the shower
Not my problem the asses of southern Europeans (even the women eww) are hairy as fuck.
Of course you have shit tangled in your ass hair like some himalayan yaks.
You put a lot of effort on your haircut and grease it with 1 liter of hair wax but can’t wipe your ass lol
I enjoy my own scent so my shitty arse is everyone else’s problem.
Do you have bidets in airports, restaurants, office bathrooms…? No, right? You just wipe your ass with toilet paper, maybe a bit wet with water from a plastic bottle and that’s it.
Bidet is the only way.
Bidet detected, penis erected
Bidet über alles
Until you encounter toilets in Italy that are just holes in the ground. In regular city restaurants mind you, not out in the woods.
French cannot understand the feeling
I get it, but why are so many people using the ”would you clean your shitty hands with toiletpaper” argument, like HOW can you compare your asshole with your hands, you don’t touch door handles with your ass do you?
The power of intimate freshness
The same countries who make this argument always come bottom of the tje hand washing statistics.
I’m not letting pigs lecture me in hygiene.
I’ve spent enough time there
I use my xylospongium, bloody barbarians
I love bidets, man. I’m a hairy ass mother fucker; that shit ain’t getting that clean with just paper. I can’t wear white briefs unless I’m rinsing with water
I use snow like a civilised person
We have a bidet at our house. However, we use it to store the toilet paper so it’s reachable from the shitter.
I moved to NL from South Africa and thought they’d have bidets here. Our swedes back home use bidets or “similar” methods, but I’ve always used TP.
I hate the bidets with the fix faucet. The one with a shower like head on a hose are way better.
Genuinely surprised I have to say this, but for everyone saying “but my ass isn’t my hands, why does it matter if I wash the literal shit off it?:”
Your ass sweats and it dissolves the shit. It smells.
Wet toilet paper. Best of both worlds. Needs only 1-2 to wipe the ass totally clean. Can do a paper sheet first, then wet.
We can skip the simple 40 step process by using wet wipes because our pipes aren’t from 70 BCE and can handle it
I clean with toilet paper till there’s no poop. Then shower at the start and end of the day because there’s nothing wrong with that. wtf is touching or smelling my arse in the day
I use both…. I wipe with paper for solids then residue is cleaned with bidet stream to ensure cleanliness.
Or, get this, buy fucking flushable wet wipes, and wash your ass in the shower or with a fancy Italian bidet or whatever, dry off, and go about your day. And if you’re in a hurry, plain old flushable wet wipes will do just fine.
37 comments
Zis is a trick to get our 4-layer toilet päper. But wir are immune to your southern Propaganda.
Bidet get more and more popular in my area, aka I installed a lot more of them than a few years ago.
At this point just get a japanese toilet. They’re fucking awesome and are better than a bidet in any way.
We clean our ass with tp too tho.
look im gonna explain this once for all for all barbarians:
you poop > clean with tp(if you still have fecal material you do it again) > go to the bidet with your ass hole facing the water jet > put intimate soap on hand and wash it > take towel(for ass only) and dry yourself up, last you wash your hands for a more solid hand hygiene.
This is fine for southern Europeans with no work ethic who don’t spend enough time at work to shit. Nobody wants to use a bidet at work with everyone else’s arse juice on it.
Y’all acting like wet wipes are unobtainable
Japanese Toilet: Am i a joke to you?
The best line I ever got from a bidet user was this:
If you touch poop with your hands, do you go and wash them, or do you wipe it with paper and move on?
Bidet = Second World
Don’t you people shower?
I have a full body shower every time I shit, like a normal person
Paper until no matter comes with tp, then one wet wipe until its coming out clean, finally one more tp to dry.
Even a savage like me uses a bidet
Nothing stops a pooey shower – have a poo then straight in the shower
Not my problem the asses of southern Europeans (even the women eww) are hairy as fuck.
Of course you have shit tangled in your ass hair like some himalayan yaks.
You put a lot of effort on your haircut and grease it with 1 liter of hair wax but can’t wipe your ass lol
I enjoy my own scent so my shitty arse is everyone else’s problem.
Do you have bidets in airports, restaurants, office bathrooms…? No, right? You just wipe your ass with toilet paper, maybe a bit wet with water from a plastic bottle and that’s it.
Bidet is the only way.
Bidet detected, penis erected
Bidet über alles
Until you encounter toilets in Italy that are just holes in the ground. In regular city restaurants mind you, not out in the woods.
French cannot understand the feeling
I get it, but why are so many people using the ”would you clean your shitty hands with toiletpaper” argument, like HOW can you compare your asshole with your hands, you don’t touch door handles with your ass do you?
The power of intimate freshness
The same countries who make this argument always come bottom of the tje hand washing statistics.
I’m not letting pigs lecture me in hygiene.
I’ve spent enough time there
I use my xylospongium, bloody barbarians
I love bidets, man. I’m a hairy ass mother fucker; that shit ain’t getting that clean with just paper. I can’t wear white briefs unless I’m rinsing with water
I use snow like a civilised person
We have a bidet at our house. However, we use it to store the toilet paper so it’s reachable from the shitter.
I moved to NL from South Africa and thought they’d have bidets here. Our swedes back home use bidets or “similar” methods, but I’ve always used TP.
I hate the bidets with the fix faucet. The one with a shower like head on a hose are way better.
Genuinely surprised I have to say this, but for everyone saying “but my ass isn’t my hands, why does it matter if I wash the literal shit off it?:”
Your ass sweats and it dissolves the shit. It smells.
Wet toilet paper. Best of both worlds. Needs only 1-2 to wipe the ass totally clean. Can do a paper sheet first, then wet.
We can skip the simple 40 step process by using wet wipes because our pipes aren’t from 70 BCE and can handle it
I clean with toilet paper till there’s no poop. Then shower at the start and end of the day because there’s nothing wrong with that. wtf is touching or smelling my arse in the day
I use both…. I wipe with paper for solids then residue is cleaned with bidet stream to ensure cleanliness.
Or, get this, buy fucking flushable wet wipes, and wash your ass in the shower or with a fancy Italian bidet or whatever, dry off, and go about your day. And if you’re in a hurry, plain old flushable wet wipes will do just fine.