To everyone on the M1 north of Nottingham today – sorry if you saw a grey Corsa being tortured. It was me being a petulant lunatic.

EDIT – Now I’m in control of my emotions, I’ve realised that my petulance has inflicted unnecessary harm on the environment. I’ve paid to offset the carbon I’ll have produced on this journey. [Proof at this link](https://imgur.com/a/Tt9tzuF)

Sorry Mother Nature.

by yearsofpractice

33 comments

  2. I admire and respect you. That’s my level of pettiness too

  3. 3rd gear in a Corsa is about 25 miles per hour, on a motorway ?

  4. Watching you drive around that roundabout 49 times was a joy to behold

  5. Derbyshire now covered in a cloud of smog with Southern winds

  9. I did this with an Nissan Almyra Action back in the 90’s i caught my dealership torturing my car so took theirs on a hair-brained 4 hour joy ride which at one point found me wheel spinning up the Dalston Road past a van full of police that were otherwise engaged. I often feel sorry for that car’s future owners.

  10. I did something similar years ago when I had a courtesy car after an accident and my car was being repaired.

    It had to be returned with the same amount of fuel as I received it and it was almost empty.

    Anyway, this one Sunday, I put half a tanks worth in only to get a call Monday morning to say my car would be ready to pick up on the Wednesday.

    So, like you, I did my absolute best to burn off that fuel by doing pointless driving and not coming out of 2nd gear.

    By Wednesday I’d got it down to the last teaspoon of fuel, went smugly to drop it off and get my car only to be told they’d tried to phone me because there’d been a problem and they’d need to keep it another week😅

    Got home and sure enough, there hidden in all the other voice messages we never listen too was their message 😭

  11. What’s the fastest car?

    A hire car.

    I would never want to buy one from the likes of Hertz or Thrifty, which have had an absolute kicking in their short life, especially because lunatics like me drive them like they’ve been stolen.

  12. I rented a van once and it was delivered with a full tank. The bloke said bring it back with a full tank.

    I was moving house, but only a couple of miles so when I took it back, the bloke got really arsey when I hadn’t filled it up. I told him it had used so little I couldn’t fit any in. And he snatched the keys and took it the petrol station. When he came back, all triumphant he shoved the receipt at me and said “pay up”.
    It was 50p.

    Fucking prick.

  13. My OH did the same thing recently. When he said he was taking me to work I laughed and he was like ‘I’m not fucking joking I’ve paid for that fuel!’ Haha

  14. Fucking genius at the rental company who realised give out full get back full doesn’t allow them to rob people

    That bastard better of not got the recognition he deserved

  15. I had the same deal in the States on my first holiday there. 
    Car was half full when I got it so I put about 10 dollars of ‘gas’ into it on the way to drop it off. 
    Bloody went full to the brim. I’d forgotten how cheap their fuel is compared to the UK. 

  16. Last time my new company car got delivered I had just put a full tank in my current car when I got the email to say t was ready to collect. Even though I really wanted my new car I kept driving the old one until it was on fumes. Not having my fuel.

  17. I took a van back once and they told me I hadn’t put enough fuel in it because it wasn’t showing full. I’d done 8 whole miles in it, which I could prove, and put a fiver in it. After the briefest of arguments I was allowed to leave.

  18. Next time buy yourself a fuel siphon and save all of that effort! Yes you’re spending money but at least it’s for something you’re getting some use from.

  19. I have a fuel siphon and a Jerry can in my garage. When I sold my motorbike the guy haggled me down every inch before arriving so it went from a full tank to an empty one and the car got a top up. Very useful bit of kit to have handy if you ever need to be petty!

  21. One of those ahhhhh you’ve beat me here but if I can make you beat me ever so slightly less then that’s a win for me

  22. Similar story two weeks ago. Totally over filled, so the useless cheapo hire company gained a bloody half tank of fuel. I couldn’t face the A68 in second gear and I didn’t have time just to take it for a hoon. What made it worse was the prick checking the car then tried to do me for a “cut in the tyre” that was like what you could do with a fingernail. Hadn’t taken their stupid expensive “cover everything” insurance. I wasn’t having it and he luckily backed off. Green motion thieves won’t see me again.

  23. This is why the only fair deal is “return with a full tank”. I had the same thing some years ago when I was given a hire car while mine was in for repair. When I got it it was nearly empty. They did very well out of me that day!

  24. So since you’re a Barney you wasted your own money, polluted the environment, and drove up the cost of hiring a car for everyone else?

    Ok

  26. As a petty man child myself i would have spent £5 on washer fluid tube from halfords, a few £5 gas cans and drained the fuel down to collect £10.

    I filled my tank up then hit a deer with £50 worth of fuel in my car. I spent 2 hours letting every last drop gravity bleed into a jerry can….. Keep petty man.

  28. It’s your fuel or your time. My time is worth way more than the fuel, idk about yours

  30. If you’ve already paid for it what difference does it make.

  31. Your attitude is that you’d rather put it into the atmosphere than let someone else benefit? That’s toxic as fuck mate. Sort yourself out.

  32. That car prob had a full tank in the beginning. Each driver is told to bring back with same fuel level and each driver subsequently brings the car back with slightly less because fuck the hire companies. Really you’re just fucking the next customer.

  33. These drive me insane.

    Collect full

    Return full.

    Should be the default.

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