Go piss on Fantastic Mr Foxes strawberries. Like for like. Even Steven’s.
Surround them with poison ivy, next time he raises his legs, ivy on the nuts.
Piss on his glacier mints
1) Dress up as a strawberry plant
2) Wait for the fox to come back and have another go
3) Take a piss on him and see how he bloody likes it!
Send a sternly worded letter to the animals of farthing wood
Eat it disrespectfully.
Put some chilli powder or chilli flakes near your strawberries. Seriously, foxes hate the stuff.
Send for Mr Derek
Contain urea. Great fertilizer.
Tactical nuclear strike.
Challenge the fox to a table’s ladders and chairs match, pick up your lucha mask and return to the ring. Foxes can’t legally turn down a wrestling match against a masked wrestler. Says so in the magna carta. Surprisingly most of the magna carta is rules about wrestling. MCW was the first wrestling organisation.
If you can get close enough try piss on his strawberries
Feed Mr Fox the Pissberries. No dinner for Mr Fox until he eats all the Pissberries.
Hire a bear to poo on his porch.
Dress up as a sexy lady strawberry plant pot (aka Bugs Bunny) and charm the fox into doing this to your neighbours strawberry plant pot
Why am I wondering if you should get a Roadrunner? With something from Acme?
Rig a low FPS airsoft gun to a remotely controllable mount and put it on the roof.
Pop a livestream capable gopro type camera to the top of the gun.
Create a targeting overlay for the stream. Calibrate the aim with a few practice shots on empty cans or something.
Put together a large arrangement of snacks and non-perishables and book a week off work. Wait patiently for Mr or Mrs Fox.
I won’t continue out of solidarity with the RSPCA but you get the idea.
Like my dad used to do with the cats, get foxy by the scruff of the neck and rub his nose in it
Piss on the fox? 🤷🏼♂️
Just remember them foxes are sly, so you’ll probably have an ordeal on your hands if you try to exact some form of revenge. Fantastic Mr Fox style…
do you have any artillery
Electrify them. Give ‘im a burned bell-end
Assuming foxes have bell-ends, I’m not that well-read on fox anatomy
How are your DIY skills, for my plan you’re going to need to rig up a motion sensor, and about 5 tonnes of c4
Get yourself a decent .22 air rifle and some dome head pellets. Lie in wait til the little fucker comes back and just as he’s about to desecrate your kitchen garden, look him in the eyes and shoot the strawberries before he has the chance. Power play
Get a half-eaten kebab, piss on it, and then leave it in your back garden.
Drop a large transparent rhomboidal mint on it.
Build him his own private lavatory of course with built-in 24/7 rotisserie chicken.
Find, then shit in, its den.
Put a sign that says “Dear Fox, i have your genitals in photos and videos, i am gonna publish them in the internet.”
Nuke the entire site from orbit.
It’s the only way to be sure.
Make a sporran and keep strawberries in it.
Go and piss on his strawberries.
Shove a lit match stick up its London end
Gradually approach the fox, it will be skittish at first and probably dart off. That’s ok, over time it will become used to your presence. Put out some food to encourage it, and each time it arrives move just a little closer. Eventually, after many years, you will be able to reach out and pet it. It will grow to enjoy this company and seek you out, crying for you when you are not in.
On the anniversary of this incident, when it arrives for its food and comfort from andbold friend, viciously beat it to death with a novelty pair of strawberry themed slippers.
Right, a long time ago a friend had issues with rabbits eating his veg in the garden. We decided to deal with this in the only west country way we know. Air rifles and beer. After scattering lettuce leaves around the garden, waiting until dusk and sinking an entire case of cold ones we successfully shot his shed and a plastic garden toy. So do that.
Cook up some delicious meat to tempt the fox.. then just give it to him. Happy fox, happy you, pissy plants but hey
Take a shit on your strawberries, when he comes back to them he’ll realise there’s a bigger bully in town.
Mr Fox should be first dragged naked behind a horse to his place of execution – Smithfield – being jeered and booed by onlookers the whole way. He can then be hung and emasculated while still alive, his “privy parts” burned in front of him. The executioner then can then cut Monsignor fox open, pull out his entrails, remove his heart, and “quarter” his lifeless body – parts of which can then be sent to Newcastle, Berwick, Perth and Stirling for public display. Signor Foxy’s head, meanwhile, can be dipped in tar and placed on a spike on London bridge, a grisly reminder to others of u/stinkyspacebany’s “justice”.
42 comments
Train the strawberries to piss on ‘im right back.
Go piss on Fantastic Mr Foxes strawberries. Like for like. Even Steven’s.
Surround them with poison ivy, next time he raises his legs, ivy on the nuts.
Piss on his glacier mints
1) Dress up as a strawberry plant
2) Wait for the fox to come back and have another go
3) Take a piss on him and see how he bloody likes it!
Send a sternly worded letter to the animals of farthing wood
Eat it disrespectfully.
Put some chilli powder or chilli flakes near your strawberries. Seriously, foxes hate the stuff.
Send for Mr Derek
Contain urea. Great fertilizer.
Tactical nuclear strike.
Challenge the fox to a table’s ladders and chairs match, pick up your lucha mask and return to the ring. Foxes can’t legally turn down a wrestling match against a masked wrestler. Says so in the magna carta. Surprisingly most of the magna carta is rules about wrestling. MCW was the first wrestling organisation.
If you can get close enough try piss on his strawberries
Feed Mr Fox the Pissberries. No dinner for Mr Fox until he eats all the Pissberries.
Hire a bear to poo on his porch.
Dress up as a sexy lady strawberry plant pot (aka Bugs Bunny) and charm the fox into doing this to your neighbours strawberry plant pot
Why am I wondering if you should get a Roadrunner? With something from Acme?
Rig a low FPS airsoft gun to a remotely controllable mount and put it on the roof.
Pop a livestream capable gopro type camera to the top of the gun.
Create a targeting overlay for the stream. Calibrate the aim with a few practice shots on empty cans or something.
Put together a large arrangement of snacks and non-perishables and book a week off work. Wait patiently for Mr or Mrs Fox.
I won’t continue out of solidarity with the RSPCA but you get the idea.
Piss on his strawberries
Play this and have a dance-off:- https://youtu.be/jofNR_WkoCE?si=hzfyDzVIgKFtuu7r
“A view hallooo!!”
[Sounds of trumpets blasting and dogs barking]
Eat them before he does.
Like my dad used to do with the cats, get foxy by the scruff of the neck and rub his nose in it
Piss on the fox? 🤷🏼♂️
Just remember them foxes are sly, so you’ll probably have an ordeal on your hands if you try to exact some form of revenge. Fantastic Mr Fox style…
do you have any artillery
Electrify them. Give ‘im a burned bell-end
Assuming foxes have bell-ends, I’m not that well-read on fox anatomy
How are your DIY skills, for my plan you’re going to need to rig up a motion sensor, and about 5 tonnes of c4
Get yourself a decent .22 air rifle and some dome head pellets. Lie in wait til the little fucker comes back and just as he’s about to desecrate your kitchen garden, look him in the eyes and shoot the strawberries before he has the chance. Power play
Get a half-eaten kebab, piss on it, and then leave it in your back garden.
Drop a large transparent rhomboidal mint on it.
Build him his own private lavatory of course with built-in 24/7 rotisserie chicken.
Find, then shit in, its den.
Put a sign that says “Dear Fox, i have your genitals in photos and videos, i am gonna publish them in the internet.”
Nuke the entire site from orbit.
It’s the only way to be sure.
Make a sporran and keep strawberries in it.
Go and piss on his strawberries.
Shove a lit match stick up its London end
Gradually approach the fox, it will be skittish at first and probably dart off. That’s ok, over time it will become used to your presence. Put out some food to encourage it, and each time it arrives move just a little closer. Eventually, after many years, you will be able to reach out and pet it. It will grow to enjoy this company and seek you out, crying for you when you are not in.
On the anniversary of this incident, when it arrives for its food and comfort from andbold friend, viciously beat it to death with a novelty pair of strawberry themed slippers.
Right, a long time ago a friend had issues with rabbits eating his veg in the garden. We decided to deal with this in the only west country way we know. Air rifles and beer. After scattering lettuce leaves around the garden, waiting until dusk and sinking an entire case of cold ones we successfully shot his shed and a plastic garden toy. So do that.
Cook up some delicious meat to tempt the fox.. then just give it to him. Happy fox, happy you, pissy plants but hey
Take a shit on your strawberries, when he comes back to them he’ll realise there’s a bigger bully in town.
Mr Fox should be first dragged naked behind a horse to his place of execution – Smithfield – being jeered and booed by onlookers the whole way. He can then be hung and emasculated while still alive, his “privy parts” burned in front of him. The executioner then can then cut Monsignor fox open, pull out his entrails, remove his heart, and “quarter” his lifeless body – parts of which can then be sent to Newcastle, Berwick, Perth and Stirling for public display. Signor Foxy’s head, meanwhile, can be dipped in tar and placed on a spike on London bridge, a grisly reminder to others of u/stinkyspacebany’s “justice”.