I hate to be the one to tell Sony this, but I’m not paying to watch a superhero movie starring Dakota Johnson. I just don’t have that kind of time to waste.
Sony’s writers were in the local Starbucks doing research on Marvel movies at the same time their self-esteem died.
Sydney Sweeney is so damn hot
I’m waiting for a movie that really rubs the common man in a good way – taking beautiful women and sending them on adventure means nothing to me and my neighbours who are slugging it out in suburbia….and failing
[deleted]
Hokey. The entire movie was hokey. Terrible, save your money.
“Everything woke turns to shit!”
I have an idea in my head of what aDakota Johnson movie is and it’s some melodramatic independent type movie not some superhero girl power whatever this was.
They keep hiring the fucker who wrote morbius
I dunno. It was the funniest movie I’ve seen in a long time. Being hilariously terrible obviously wasn’t the goal of production, but kept it from being a waste of my time.
How?
Well it all started when someone said “Hey let’s make a Madame Web movie”
Eh, I’ve seen worse. Yeah, it for sure has problems but…it was way better than aquaman! You want to see a bad movie with no redeeming qualities whatsoever? Watch Beau Is Afraid
Is spider-woman shooting webs out of her crotch? I’ve already seen that pr0n.
**Obligatory** ***Making a Movie is Hard*** **disclaimer** but…
I think it’s pretty obvious that the formula sucks. That they’re even using a formula is questionable, but what’s mind-blowing is them using a provably bad one.
Said formula: They start with actors, not scripts. They hire writers who don’t care and just pump out what they’re told to. They pick directors based on a mix of clout and IDPol. They don’t want to pay people fairly. Their marketing plans are often shoddy or non-existent. And then they’re shocked when the result isn’t good. Huh?!
The better alternative: Solicit quality scripts from people who know and love the material. Seriously consider letting one of these writers also direct. Or, barring that, hire a director who similarly knows and loves the material. Don’t cast anything until these key pieces are in place, don’t even *think about* shopping for stars to “build around” or whatever. Hire actors that fit the characters, rather than tweaking characters to fit the actors. If you need stars, put them in supporting roles (a recurring, highly successful strategy that both DC and Marvel have employed). Respect the people you’ve hired, both creatively and financially. Market the hell out of your resultant film, which should be good enough to deserve the ad spend. Nothing’s guaranteed, but this is the approach with the best results.
Mess? What do you mean? This movie made a webillion dollars
It’s been a long road since those first two Spider-man movies with Tobey Maguire
TIL Madame Web has something to do with Spider-Man
If this was Disney:Marvel we’d be getting gaslit with article after article about how the toxic fanbase review-bombed the otherwise amazing movie.
The dumbest guy at work raved about this movie so I’m avoiding it. If he says something is dumb it’s probably excellent. I have yet to find a more reliable way to choose movies and shows
I am going to go out on a limb and say the Venom movies were not very good. As far as Sony properties go, Spiderman 2 was really the only ok one.
For Venom, It was really just the offscreen dialogue. They can make Venom say anything in post and it felt squeezed in between all of Tom Hardy’s dialogue like they were writing it as they were filming. Spiderman 3 also felt like a Saturday morning cartoon in regards to wackiness.
Saving you a read: the article doesn’t tell you how. Sort of “it happens”, vague context about the flop, a vague hint at Dakota Johnson saying filming was difficult, but zero analysis on the mess itself
>With its ties to the Marvel Cinematic Universe — not to mention Dakota Johnson and Euphoria’s Sydney Sweeney leading the cast — Madame Web seemed poised to be the start of a new superhero franchise.
This movie has NO TIES WHATSOEVER with the MCU. Even journalists can’t make the difference and that’s one of the reasons why Sony making dumbass d-list Spider-Man adjacent films is hurting the genre as a whole.
It’s just another lesson in making movies nobody asked for. Can’t wait to see how Kraven does.
No one asked for this.
Please Sony Stop
Yep, we’ve been in the stage for a while now of studios scraping the bottom of the barrel of superhero IP to try to make a mega-hit out of it. The genre is past the point of being oversaturated now. That’s coming from someone who reads comic books.
Madame Web was unnecessary and showcases that Sony is willing to drive this genre firmly into the ground until it doesn’t squeeze out any more profit.
Sony will likely take the wrong lessons from this failure like they always do and double down on bad films in the hopes that fans will buy into more connected universe garbage.
They keep making Spider-Man movies without Spider-Man. This shouldn’t be a surprise
“Acting? you call that acting? I’ve seen better acting from extras in Godzilla movies”
Their spider universe lacks a Spider-Man and every time one of these films ends, you feel that so hard. They don’t go together and none of them have anything in common with the next one. Marvel legit sent Venom back to his own world, so Tom Holland is 100% not this universes Spider-Man. Making a monster hole in every single film.
I went and saw this because I heard how horrible it was. I thought there was no way it was as bad as people were saying.
It was horrible. Not enjoyable at all. Why was the main villain knock off spiderman guys voice like that? Did they get the entire movie dialogue from asking chat gpt to translate the sims? It was boring to a crippling degree. I started to fall asleep and then another nonsensical time jump bullshit happens that made me concentrate in search of an actual plot where something cool happens.
You don’t even see them in uniform actually doing something for longer than 46 seconds.
I was considerably high and still couldn’t enjoy this waste of….. everything. How this got released is beyond me.
It’s like they’re making movies with female leads bad on purpose. Then they can turn around and say ‘well these female-led movies are flops so that’s not what sells so let’s give up on that’
Does she even know how to act? lol!
This movie doing bad is as surprising as Morbius doing bad. Uninteresting characters to the broad audience being written by people who doesn’t know what they are doing.
33 comments
I hate to be the one to tell Sony this, but I’m not paying to watch a superhero movie starring Dakota Johnson. I just don’t have that kind of time to waste.
Sony’s writers were in the local Starbucks doing research on Marvel movies at the same time their self-esteem died.
Sydney Sweeney is so damn hot
I’m waiting for a movie that really rubs the common man in a good way – taking beautiful women and sending them on adventure means nothing to me and my neighbours who are slugging it out in suburbia….and failing
[deleted]
Hokey. The entire movie was hokey. Terrible, save your money.
“Everything woke turns to shit!”
I have an idea in my head of what aDakota Johnson movie is and it’s some melodramatic independent type movie not some superhero girl power whatever this was.
They keep hiring the fucker who wrote morbius
I dunno. It was the funniest movie I’ve seen in a long time. Being hilariously terrible obviously wasn’t the goal of production, but kept it from being a waste of my time.
How?
Well it all started when someone said “Hey let’s make a Madame Web movie”
Eh, I’ve seen worse. Yeah, it for sure has problems but…it was way better than aquaman! You want to see a bad movie with no redeeming qualities whatsoever? Watch Beau Is Afraid
Is spider-woman shooting webs out of her crotch? I’ve already seen that pr0n.
**Obligatory** ***Making a Movie is Hard*** **disclaimer** but…
I think it’s pretty obvious that the formula sucks. That they’re even using a formula is questionable, but what’s mind-blowing is them using a provably bad one.
Said formula: They start with actors, not scripts. They hire writers who don’t care and just pump out what they’re told to. They pick directors based on a mix of clout and IDPol. They don’t want to pay people fairly. Their marketing plans are often shoddy or non-existent. And then they’re shocked when the result isn’t good. Huh?!
The better alternative: Solicit quality scripts from people who know and love the material. Seriously consider letting one of these writers also direct. Or, barring that, hire a director who similarly knows and loves the material. Don’t cast anything until these key pieces are in place, don’t even *think about* shopping for stars to “build around” or whatever. Hire actors that fit the characters, rather than tweaking characters to fit the actors. If you need stars, put them in supporting roles (a recurring, highly successful strategy that both DC and Marvel have employed). Respect the people you’ve hired, both creatively and financially. Market the hell out of your resultant film, which should be good enough to deserve the ad spend. Nothing’s guaranteed, but this is the approach with the best results.
Mess? What do you mean? This movie made a webillion dollars
It’s been a long road since those first two Spider-man movies with Tobey Maguire
TIL Madame Web has something to do with Spider-Man
If this was Disney:Marvel we’d be getting gaslit with article after article about how the toxic fanbase review-bombed the otherwise amazing movie.
The dumbest guy at work raved about this movie so I’m avoiding it. If he says something is dumb it’s probably excellent. I have yet to find a more reliable way to choose movies and shows
I am going to go out on a limb and say the Venom movies were not very good. As far as Sony properties go, Spiderman 2 was really the only ok one.
For Venom, It was really just the offscreen dialogue. They can make Venom say anything in post and it felt squeezed in between all of Tom Hardy’s dialogue like they were writing it as they were filming. Spiderman 3 also felt like a Saturday morning cartoon in regards to wackiness.
Saving you a read: the article doesn’t tell you how. Sort of “it happens”, vague context about the flop, a vague hint at Dakota Johnson saying filming was difficult, but zero analysis on the mess itself
>With its ties to the Marvel Cinematic Universe — not to mention Dakota Johnson and Euphoria’s Sydney Sweeney leading the cast — Madame Web seemed poised to be the start of a new superhero franchise.
This movie has NO TIES WHATSOEVER with the MCU. Even journalists can’t make the difference and that’s one of the reasons why Sony making dumbass d-list Spider-Man adjacent films is hurting the genre as a whole.
It’s just another lesson in making movies nobody asked for. Can’t wait to see how Kraven does.
No one asked for this.
Please Sony Stop
Yep, we’ve been in the stage for a while now of studios scraping the bottom of the barrel of superhero IP to try to make a mega-hit out of it. The genre is past the point of being oversaturated now. That’s coming from someone who reads comic books.
Madame Web was unnecessary and showcases that Sony is willing to drive this genre firmly into the ground until it doesn’t squeeze out any more profit.
Sony will likely take the wrong lessons from this failure like they always do and double down on bad films in the hopes that fans will buy into more connected universe garbage.
They keep making Spider-Man movies without Spider-Man. This shouldn’t be a surprise
“Acting? you call that acting? I’ve seen better acting from extras in Godzilla movies”
Their spider universe lacks a Spider-Man and every time one of these films ends, you feel that so hard. They don’t go together and none of them have anything in common with the next one. Marvel legit sent Venom back to his own world, so Tom Holland is 100% not this universes Spider-Man. Making a monster hole in every single film.
I went and saw this because I heard how horrible it was. I thought there was no way it was as bad as people were saying.
It was horrible. Not enjoyable at all. Why was the main villain knock off spiderman guys voice like that? Did they get the entire movie dialogue from asking chat gpt to translate the sims? It was boring to a crippling degree. I started to fall asleep and then another nonsensical time jump bullshit happens that made me concentrate in search of an actual plot where something cool happens.
You don’t even see them in uniform actually doing something for longer than 46 seconds.
I was considerably high and still couldn’t enjoy this waste of….. everything. How this got released is beyond me.
It’s like they’re making movies with female leads bad on purpose. Then they can turn around and say ‘well these female-led movies are flops so that’s not what sells so let’s give up on that’
Does she even know how to act? lol!
This movie doing bad is as surprising as Morbius doing bad. Uninteresting characters to the broad audience being written by people who doesn’t know what they are doing.