Scottish Poet Len Pennie: My ex-partner stalked and abused me. I had to fight the system to get a conviction

5 comments

1. Title edited for clarity (who the victim/author is) and I really don’t want to see any mods try and claim this isn’t related to Scotland.

   We have a long, long way to go until Domestic Abuse is dealt with adequately by our legal system but the fact that the Scottish Government passed groundbreaking legislation making Coercive Control illegal probably helped to ensure this conviction even happened.

2. The internet has made stalking easier to carry out – and harder to prove and prosecute. It took me four years to see my tormentor in court. At least now I can get on with healing

   Being stalked can sometimes feel like having a wound that is trying to heal around a foreign object. Days, weeks, even months can go by without incident, but all it takes is one more instance of unwanted contact for the object to be twisted and all the healing to come undone. It can be hard – even for me, a poet who works with language and words every day – to fully articulate the impact of this experience. Being stalked warps not only your sense of self and time, but also your grasp on reality; simultaneously navigating the flawed criminal justice system while living in fear can make you feel as though you are losing your mind.

   I was in a domestically abusive relationship in my early 20s, but am always hesitant to go into detail about my personal experiences with stalking and domestic abuse. I still feel the shame, compounded by societal stigma and misconceptions, but that is precisely why I want to talk about it – to help others avoid going through similar pain. People think abusers suddenly turn on their partners, but it’s often a gradual erosion of boundaries; they think it’s easy to leave, but, by the time you work up the courage, the pit is so deep that escape often feels impossible. They also think reporting abuse to the police is straightforward and justice is assured, but neither of these things could be further from the truth.

   For many months after I left the relationship, there was a continued pattern of unwanted contact. I made clear that I would contact the police, but it didn’t relent. Although my initial report was for persistent harassment, the authorities included details of the physically and emotionally abusive nature of the relationship in their case. This made the case one of domestic violence and stalking, which was eventually taken to court.

   I got a call amid chaotic final university exam preparations citing me for the case, which was finally going to trial. I was due to submit my dissertation the same week as I had to give evidence in court against my former partner. The charge related to domestic violence within the relationship and a continuing period of harassment and stalking. Having the citation hanging over my head compounded the everyday anxieties over tests and coursework and made me feel, as I often had, that my past was threatening to destroy my future. I didn’t want to go to court, I didn’t want to face the person from whom I had been trying to escape for years, but I felt I owed it to myself to at least try to get justice.

3. > There are flaws in the criminal justice system, which passively and actively affect the experience of survivors. I made numerous police reports, but, as there was never a single point of contact, I had to explain the situation from scratch – from the beginning of the relationship to the present day – with a new person each time. I would then be asked a list of the same questions, questions I recently found out are designed to assess the homicide risk.

   This is a problem across a whole bunch of things, not just police, but health. Particularly mental health.

   Having to explain, again and again, the circumstances that eventually led to my diagnosis of severe PTSD and depression, made things worse, to the level that at several points I stopped looking for help, because I didn’t want to have to talk about the same stuff *again*. Wrote it all down on a stupid bit of paper too, so that I didn’t have to *talk* about it.

   It should be fairly clear by now that single points of contact have significant benefits, so why isn’t it being implemented in criminal justice, health, mental health systems ?

   Is it down to data protection laws or something ? Some aversion to storing reports, so that the same stuff has to be re-entered into the system again and again ? Isn’t that just a waste of effort ?

   Like for my situation, every time it took me an hour to get through talking to whoever I was talking to, to provide the same information again, that’s an hour that isn’t being spent on actually helping me, or more importantly, helping someone else.

   What’s the hold up in improving this ?

4. Scummy male. Good reminder to post this story, and other survivors tales, on International Women’s Day.

5. While as a cis hetero male I’ll likely never be on the receiving end of such behaviour and never fully understand, I do have a friend who has had to endure very similar stalking with an ex partner. Like yourself she has a career (up and coming actress) where it can be harder to control how they may come into contact with her. Sadly I don’t think there’s been any convictions yet but certainly all those who care are wary when tagging thing, sharing and commenting to avoid this arsehole finding her new personal accounts (Seudonym used). Police have been involved as well but whatever’s been done isn’t fully chargeable or something from what I’m aware.

   Things need done to help make it easier to get charges brought against stalkers. I am sorry you had to go through this experience. No one should have to ever go through something like this.

   Ps- from the wording of the post, I’m assuming that you, OP, are Len herself. If so, I just want to say I find your work fantastic and inspiring. I’ve bought my wife a copy of your book and will be sending a copy to a poet I have a connection with in Canada who will no doubt appreciate your work as well (Danny Peart, brother of Rush’s Neil Peart. I’ve met their sisters but not Danny himself). Here’s to one of the best and brightest champions of the Scot’s language.