Gardaí called to respond to over 48,000 domestic abuse incidents in 2021

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1. THE NUMBER OF criminal charges brought for alleged domestic abuse last year has increased by 13% to over 8,600, according to new figures from gardaí.

   New provisional figures released for 2021 show that gardaí responded to over 48,400 domestic abuse incidents last year, which is a 10% increase on 2020.

   There were also over 4,250 criminal charges brought forward for alleged breaches of domestic abuse court orders.

   Between December 8 2021 and 7 January 2022, gardaí say that there were a total of 122 domestic abuse prosecutions commenced.

   Figures released also show that there were 45,283 contacts and attempted contacts with victims of domestic abuse from 1 April 2020 to 7 January 2022.

   The figures were released under Operation Faoiseamh – an operation with the goal of providing additional support to victims of domestic abuse.

   In a statement, Detective Chief Superintendent Colm Noonan said that gardaí are “continuing to prioritise our response to victims of domestic abuse”.

   “Our commitment to vulnerable victims remains resolute. The increase in prosecutions in 2021, both in respect of breaches of Domestic Violence Act Orders and for crimes involving an element of domestic abuse, demonstrates that An Garda Síochána have the capacity and resolve to fully investigate domestic abuse offences and to prosecute offenders,” said Noonan.

   The Garda National Protective Services Bureau (GNPSB) and Divisional Protective Service Units (DPSU), now established in every Garda Division, supported by Divisional Victim Service Offices (DVSO) and frontline Gardaí are available to respond to these crimes and support anyone who needs assistance.
   “I would ask once again, if you are a victim of abuse or you know of a family member or friend who is a victim of such abuse, please make contact with An Garda Síochána. If you require urgent assistance or support, please call 999 or 112,” added Noonan.

2. A good friend of mine got involved with someone a couple of years back.

   Quickly became aparent she was extremely controlling and abusive. Got to the point that she locked him out of the house (his house btw), and made false abuse alegations against him, which in turn led him to attempt suicide.

   Thankfully we got her out of the house, though she even tried to sue him afterwards claiming he owed her money for bills she contributed too.

   She was married within a year of that to someone, anytime I see that guy he looks pure miserable.

3. > How many of you have experienced, or know someone who has experienced, an abusive relationship? Or do you know anyone who treats their partner badly? Did you grow up with an abusive parent?

   To answer your questions: yes to all of the above.

4. 18 months out of one.

   It was physical a few times, I ended up.in hospital once.

   But it was mainly emotionally abusive.

   The mental scars are still here, just one example is he always said “who thought you how to kisd because you’re so bad at it”, now I don’t kiss anyone.

   There’s loads more, I had to get in contact with him to take the rest of his stuff out of my house, I was shaking for the day after.

   He only ever wanted dry anal sex, i couldn’t do that, it hurts like a bitch, I stopped having sex with him, that made things worse.

   I’ve had nightmares about him.

   He was a big man, like 20 stone big and I can still see him standing over me fists clenched screaming at me, the spit coming out of his mouth.

   I often wonder would physical abuse have been easier, because others can see it, but talking about it family and friends they could see all the abuse.

   When we finished, it emerged that he was sending really inappropriate messages to some people I’d know, harassing prostitutes.

   I was afraid, work wanted me to get a protection order, but I was afraid to do that as well.

   I’m so grateful that I had support from family and friends to get him out of the house.

5. A family friend of ours had a horrible experience last January. She was being beat at home and after a particularly bad argument she found courage to go to the Gardaí. They were absolutely hopeless and only offered her the number to Women’s Aid, a charity. No government support, just a charity and sub-charities who had absolutely no places available to stay. To add further pressure, the Gardaí wouldn’t provide an escort to her so that she could safely get back in her home to get her things.

   Out of options and lacking family in Ireland, she called us for help and stayed with us for a month before a shelter place could be found. Additionally, the Gardaí only took her complaint seriously when we showed up at the station with her and wouldn’t take “no” as an answer for a Garda escort. They had just dismissed her as another Eastern European with weak English and hadn’t even filed a report.

   I lost massive amounts of respect for the Gardaí through the whole process and this was only amplified when we found out they were hanging up on domestic violence calls. I also am infuriated that we pay all these taxes and the government just delegate responsibility to charities. No assignment of case workers to guide frightened people through the whole process of filing complaints, court appearances, finding a place to stay, etc.

   No offer of help to escort her safely back to her home.

6. The reference there to attempted contacts bothers me. I’d be interested to see those figures specifically.

   But I don’t know if I could say my relationship was abusive exactly, sure as shit was borderline at least. He raised a fist to me once during a fight. I dunno why it wasn’t something that made me leave. He’d made me question my views on everything for so long maybe that’s why it didn’t strike me as wildly inappropriate.

7. 48000 REPORTED calls to Gardai. It makes me sad to think how many actual cases there are.

8. The sad part is you can probably put a 0 at the end of that number for the real number of domestic abuse especially since men don’t call the gardai because if men are being abused the man will probably not be believed and will get arrested

9. I was working nights in a Petrol Station. There was a couple outside both clearly under the influence. It turned physical, the man really going after his partner.

   There was a group of teenagers outside on the forecourt, they told him to leave her alone and he turned on them. He threw two bottles at them and charged at the nearest one. The young man kicked him right in the mouth, I cheered.

   By this time I had already called the Gardai. They arrived to find the Woman distraught and still feeling the effects of whatever she was on, and the attack from the partner. He was bleeding profusely from his face. The boys were standing there waiting to give their full account of what happened.

   They called the Man over to the car, had a word with him and let him go off with the same Woman. The boys came into the shop and couldn’t believe that that was the end of it. I paid for their Tangfastics and thanked them.

   I couldn’t believe he didn’t even get taken in for the night at least.

10. Yeah, I’ve been there. It’s nearly 20 years on and remembering it still leaves me shook. Began as coercive control but escalated to physical aggression. I was the last person I ever thought it would happen to. And no police were ever called, so even if 48000 calls were made last year, bear in mind that actual incidents are much higher.

11. I reported someone being beaten up at a Luas stop by what appeared to be their partner. The Gardaí rang me back 30 minutes later and asked where they were gone. My answer of “probably on the luas” didn’t seem to have occurred to them

12. The biggest issue is the lack of power of arrest without an existing order. It means Gardai often have to try convince one party in an incident to leave for the night but can do nothing else but take details. Even if there is an allegation of physical abuse, there is no power of arrest for simple assault, there must be evidence of injury.

13. I guess to answer the question I’ve been in an abusive relationship. I wasn’t allowed talk to other women. She had to have everything in the house her way. She probably was suicidal but self harm was her get out of jail free card after arguments. She threw one shoe at me from like 1m away and tried to claim I was abusing her when I pinned her arms to her sides so she couldn’t throw the other one she now had in her hand. She told me that if she claimed I raped her nobody would believe that I didn’t. So after that I just gave on on that fight and convinced her she wanted to leave, fearing the repercussions of what could happen if I left and she was angry about it.

14. Honestly, where I grew up men beating women was so normalised that I was surprised to find out there’s women out there who *aren’t* beaten by their husbands. Obviously now I know that where I grew up is the outlier.

15. One friend of a family was physically and mentally abused for years but wouldnt leave because they had a child. Eventually, he was hospitalized after a beating with golf clubs and she ended up getting custody of the kids despite her own parents testifying against her and she was never prosocuted for the assualts. The child suffered a lot of abuse under her until the original judge died and another judge heard the appeals and gave him custody. The child never really had a childhood and was far too mature for her age, even after all the therapy.

    Another friend ended up with a psycho, physically abusive and no one would believe him because he was built like a tank and she was a tiny waif. The guards eventually took him seriously after blowing him off on multiple occasions and telling him ‘you’re a big lad, you can look after yourself’. He has a protection order against her now but it isnt acted on and she continued to stalk him after he left. He had to drop out of college and is on a lot of antidepressants now, very sad as he was a super smart guy but now he’s like a zombie.

    Another was a nice but incredibly co-dependent girl. She would tell guys she loved them after the 3rd date and needed to know from the get-go that they were working towards marriage, in her early 20s. She scared off all the decent guys with her intense neediness until she met a similarly co-dependent person. The were incredibly dysfunctional and she ended up losing all her friends by taking his side and enabling his bullshit. By the time it grew into physical violence she was all alone and ended up turning to an ex to take her in when she left him. She’s had therapy and worked a lot on her deeper issues but is still very lonely

16. People assume domestic incidents are always between partners but unfortunately in a lot of cases they are also between elderly people and their kids. I’ve seen it myself, a mammy being forced to call the Gardai because her 40 something year old son who lives with her has given her a few smacks because mammy refused to give up the pension to him so he could go drinking then drop the charges a few days later because it’s her son and she doesn’t want to see him up in court. Everyone praises how good he is for living at home with his mam so she’s not lonely, but the reality is she cooks for him, cleans for him and makes do with a tiny bit of her pension because he’s taken the rest and drank it along with his dole. Every few weeks she’ll have a black eye or something because she’s had to pay a bill and he didn’t get the full pension. The Gardai are out to them plenty but there’s fuck all they can do when the poor woman withdraws her complaint. The system is broken, the gardai should be allowed to press charges against these scumbags themselves so they can’t intimidate their victims into withdrawing complaints.

17. Back in 2018 I was living in an apartment in north Wexford. Every night my girlfriend and I could hear really strange noises from the apartment above us, like the sound of something bring wheeled across wooden floorboards and the sound a bathtub makes when it’s dry and you get in, like a creaky squeak . Didn’t know what to make of it at all. One morning I was getting up for work at 5 am and as I was going out the door I heard a woman scream the most bone chilling shriek I’ve ever heard. Ran up and knocked on the door to see if I could get to her, couldn’t so I called the guards and waited for them to come, I waited for over 40 minutes all the while I could hear a man roaring from inside the apartment. Wouldn’t respond to the door being banged, didn’t respond to me telling him the cops were coming and noone else came out to see what was going on. Cops never showed. That was the second time I reported domestic abuse and the cops didn’t show, third time was last summer.

18. When I was in the hospital I met a lady who was beaten by her husband for nearly 20 years. He broke her spine and she’ll deal with the pain, physically and emotionally, for the rest of her life.

    I never wanted to cry and murder someone so badly.

19. Boyfriend’s brother went to the UK to work for the police. He was getting called to domestic abuse calls everyday and it made him end up changing career. Awful common. Please seek help if you’re in such a relationship.

20. Do you remember a time when if us lads found out a fella was beating a girl/woman/kid and a gang of us used to go and just beat the living hell out of the scumbag..

    ​

    lets normalise and bring that back…

21. Dated a girl for a few months.
    She’d cry and scream if I didn’t give her enough attention.
    Emotionally manipulate me to get her way. Hit me if I wasn’t giving in to her (in the typical woman slapping man way, which doesn’t hurt much but is still super fucking unhealthy)

    At one point she arrived at my house for a date and turned off my computer when I was in the middle of a game with friends. A few days later, she came over when I explicitly told her I was sick and didn’t want her to come over (wasn’t sick, just didn’t want to see her). There were lots of little red flags like that.

    Broke up with her the next day, and she sent me dozens of messages crying, telling me she loved me, telling me she’d kill herself.

    Luckily, I was early 20s, and had enough experience with relationships to know that wasn’t my responsibility. Promptly ignored her and naturally she didn’t kill herself.

22. Gardaí get a call, arrive on scene after the matter, and won’t do anything unless they’re caught in the act, no matter how many times they are called to the door over the same culprit.

    Good for nothing when it comes to domestic violence, completely unfit for purpose.

23. I’m curious to know what percentage of them are “regulars”. I know that a lot of times they’re called they end up walking away at the behest of the abused (often under duress of the abuser).

24. I once did a financial audit of a women’s shelter based in the North. I was just shocked at the number of incidents being reported it was like domestic abuse was an acceptable hobby.

25. I’ve found myself in several abusive relationships over the years, one of them involving frequent sexual abuse.
    Feels like I’m the kind of person abusive, manipulative arseholes like to go for.

26. We have a particularly bad problem. 1/3 or 1/4 women will statistically have a physically abusive partner in Ireland.

    Probably can be put down to a combination of things – rampant misogyny, historical Catholic culture, drinking culture, et cetera. Very sad.

27. this country is sick

28. Remember John and Mary from Fr. Ted showing their incredibly abusive relationship set out to a laugh track?

    A sad reality that many people’s relationship are exactly like this.

29. There used to be a picture of me on my ex’s Facebook where I have a black eye. I tried to cover it up with makeup but you could still see it if you looked hard enough. He was brazen enough to put it as his profile picture as if to taunt me. Look what I can get away with doing to you, right under everyone else’s nose.

    We travelled a lot together, but I can’t even look at the pictures I took of all the beautiful places I’ve been to because of all the memories. I just think to myself “that was the night he locked me out of the hotel room in my pyjamas” or “that was the day he called me a whore in front of families with children because my swimsuit showed a sliver of cleavage.”

    I made the mistake of contacting the guards regarding him once and I would never do it again. They basically told me it takes two to tango and I probably did something to provoke him. This isnt the only incident I’ve has to go to the guards over, and they’ve been worse than useless every single time. The only thing they’re any good at is harassing Brazilian Deliveroo cyclists over their immigration status.

    As much as I hate my ex for what he did to me, in a way I’m even angrier about his friends. I had given them the benefit of the doubt and assumed they didn’t know what he was doing. It wasn’t until after we broke up that I found out they ALL knew. He had even mentioned wanting to kill me in front of them and they all just brushed it off because he’s a good basketball player and great craic on a night out, I guess.

30. “It’s a domestic matter, we can’t get involved.” This is the excuse I’ve heard from gardai around child abuse and domestic abuse. This is the excuse they’ve told the victim when they show up.

31. It’s sad to think of how many aren’t reported. Men especially tend to not report when their woman is abusing them.

32. My dad abuses my mom and my family and we haven’t called the guards, there is definitely a lot more incidents happening behind closed doors

33. That I know of.. 1 friend and 1 sister. Neither grew up in an abusive environment. Neither would strike me as a classic victim. Both got out and are in healthy relationships now.

34. Last year I left an abusive marriage. I went to a shelter with my then 2 year old and 3 month old. Luckily the gardaí were nothing but helpful and believing. They even sorted the taxi for us to the shelter. When I went to court to file a barring order, so my children and I could return home safely, a detective met me there and walked me through the process and what would happen.

35. I was in an abusive relationship for many years. It started with extreme jealousy and coercive control. It eventually escalated to rape, child endangerment and child neglect. It took a couple of years to get him out of the house, and then he harrassed and stalked me for years. He comes across as an absolute gentleman and the few people I told about some incidents minimised it. A lot of people took his side and I was frozen out of some groups of friends. He also blackened my name but I still don’t know what he said about me. I know several people who have been in similar situations but I didn’t realise the extent of what they were suffering until much later.

36. Dealing with it at the moment. Women’s Aid are no use because it’s not my partner – and their live chat is down every hour of every day that I try.
    Guards are useless, as already noted above.

    There are pretty much no resources or supports unless you have visible injuries. The number of reports doesn’t surprise me.