So, it’s nearly midnight. I’m drifting off, then this wailing shatters the tranquility of the countryside! I’ve heard foxes, chickens, pheasants, cats. but never this unholy squawking! I live right by a canal but in the middle of a mostly very quiet village. Is this a crow having a nightmare!? Because it’s sure as hell going to give me one… I pray I survive the night… it’s been going on for a solid 15 minutes.
Countryside people of the UK, what in the fresh-fuck is this noise!?
byu/Ride_The_Lightnin inCasualUK
by Ride_The_Lightnin
30 comments
sorry i was lost
Sounds like a deer call to me
I believe that’s just my partner snoring. I’ll give them a shove. Apologies.
would shit me up if i heard that ngl
I can’t decide whether or not it is deers rutting or foxes
Owls? Foxes? Nature’s nightlife getting lound.
It’s most likely a young Roe deer? Muntjacs sound more like dogs when they bark and fallow deer have lower pitched calls.
If it sounds like a banshee, it’s usually some weird fox.
Mating foxes
Might be a deer but it is too early in the year for them to be mating. Or a sheep being interfered with.
Hedgehog
foxes having a good time
That’s the mating call of a flesh-tearer, it’s like a cross between a mole and a wolverine. It’s quite safe, unless it’s mating season, during which the females like to sneak through the undergrowth, then run up the inside of your trouser leg and crawl into your arsehole. From there it will devour your innards and lay it’s eggs in your now vacant body cavity. The call you have recorded is to attract a male of the species, who will shove it’s 2 foot penis through your eye socket and fertilise the eggs.
It’s the call of the infamous British Panther.
I lived in central London, and even I can tell you; that’s a horny fox.
Honestly, it sounds like a sheep or a deer. It’s not a fox.
That’s a Lancastrian werepig hunting pies.
Deer or fox would be my guess. I’m leaning towards deer, though.
100% certain that’s a horny deer.
That’s just a horror film happening in real life. Get some sleep and hope that nothings stood at the end of your bed watching you all night.
Foxes.
After making their unearthly mating calls, they seek out human flesh to feed their future babies.
It’s Michael McIntyre.
Chupacabra
Sheep.
Muntjac?
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Stig of the dump snoring
It’s Man Bear Pig…run!
Seriously though, it’s probably a deer.
That’s the Beast. It is as big as four cats and it has a retractable leg so it can leap up at you better. It lights up at night and it has four ears, two of them are for listening and the other two are kind of backup ears and it’s claws are as big as cups and for some reason it’s got a tremendous fear of stamps. It’s got magnets on its tail so if you’re made out of metal it can attach itself to you and instead of a mouth it’s got four arses
A sheep