A ‘lonely deaths’ epidemic is sweeping the UK

16 comments

1. I do notice a huge difference, when i’m in places like Spain / Italy/ Turkey etc, where all the old people are out and about playing games together in big groups.

   Whether playing dominos in a bar, or playing bowls on the grass or sand. I don’t see it so much in the UK, old people seem to be on their own more or just with their younger family.

   I mean I know there are groups of them, but it’s not on every street like in other European countries.

2. *more than a million older people say they are lonely, and that they can go over a month at a time without speaking to a friend, neighbour or family member.*

   Wow that’s absolutely heartbreaking:

3. This is why I will strike up a conversation with people at bus stops or on park benches etc. Definitely do it less since getting a motorbike but I try to engage with strangers even if it’s just a nod and a “good morning”.

4. They vote for maximising their pension while their grandkids have to move away to live in a HMO doing 50 hours a week. Elderly people are statistically selfish.

   They averaged 47 hours per week per couple to buy their houses. They want to hoard money as a result of living for uniquely prosperous times.

5. I’m 70. I’ve got bike club and archery, both of which require a reasonable standard of fitness. But it’s just a case of getting yourself out there. There are things for the elderly if you look…but of course that’s assuming you’re mobile and outgoing enough to seek them out. Company isn’t going to come to you.

6. Plenty of clubs and organisations for the elderly not to be lonely

7. People don’t care as much nowadays. There’s money but no mohabbat (Asian word meaning pure and genuine love) Life in the UK is lonely for many many people. Old and disabled people and oddballs with a slight mental disability are hidden away at home. Life is fast paced where people work in other towns rather than their own so we don’t see each other anymore. Some old people are selfish or rather their young relatives are. The relationship frays due to genuine misunderstanding and everyone is lonely. Old people live alone and lonely and their grandkids are lonely in a houseshare they don’t like.
   I don’t have a partner and the family is dysfunctional. Siblings have moved on so I spend all day with no one to talk to. I’m currently in India where it’s a bit less lonely as there’s always people around whereas UK streets are often empty early morning and late night in small towns. I was popular in my last job and looked upto so I had people to talk to. I don’t know what’ll happen in my next job

8. Not to be mean but there really is. Age uk offer so much from clubs and Dinners there’s far more for the elderly then the young or middle aged

9. I’m a gas man. Mostly my job entails service/repair of central heating boilers. But we all have a sideline in being 15 minutes company to a lot of older and more lonely people.

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11. The television and the car have been hammer-blows to social cohesion, and lots of new technology just makes things worse and worse – at least the people watching old school TV were all watching the same thing at the same time, now everyone has their own individual media feeds there’s almost no shared experience there.

    Televisions stop you going out because there’s something to fill the void at home, even if you go out, almost everyone else is home in front of the idiot box. And cars fragment your social life by spreading everything over wide distances and preventing almost all incidental contact while travelling by isolating you and everyone else in your own dehumanising bubble – and they make a lot of outside spaces unpleasant so also destroy some ‘third places’, and the danger of cars keeps parents busy being taxis even as kids become teenagers.

    Then there’s more of an expectation of mobility (definitely varies by background), so many people regularly leave family/friends behind when moving…

    Combine that with our absurd land prices destroying our stock of indoor ‘third places’, the crushing death of religion/church as a weekly gathering of the community, and low wages and long hours leaving people too broke and tired to do anything after work – and on top of more intensive parenting families living far apart often means grandma can’t look after the kids while you pop to Thursday evening bridge club. People can’t even host at their own homes because we have so little space. You can barely find any couch-coop videogames as everything is now set up assuming everyone stays in their own houses and plays online instead…

    It’s absolutely catastrophic.

12. As a 70 year old single guy living alone I fully expect this to be my fate.

13. I guess that’s gonna be my future too. I don’t know, it could be the side effect of my job, I do enjoy being by myself far more than with other people during my off hours. I usually runout of time bland never run out of things I’m doing.

    So colour me sceptic!

14. I would assert that our society has become more lonely and more atomised full stop.

    It’s just that you’re more likely to die an at old age, so more people die alone at that old age.

    A lady in Woking with schizophrenia was dead for three years before anybody found her. She was 40 and somebody was knocking to collect the council tax. I’d imagine she was a skeleton at that stage.

    This is what we’ve become.

    A lot of people out there aren’t noticed when they disappear.

15. Eleanor Rigby, died in the church and was buried along with her name

16. I moved away and now live in a small village on a smallish island between Okinawa and Kyushu in Japan. I know essentially everyone in the village by sight (about 50 people) and a scary number by name considering that (a) I am very bad at names; and (b) they are all Japanese and most speak with strong local accents. When living in Swindon I did make some local friends and got to know some people, but it took much longer.

    A lot of it is fairly passive. Things happen in the village and it is hard not to get drawn in. You also run into people a lot because homes are close packed (for peculiar local reasons to do with snakes).

    Since I work from home, at time I still feel a bit lonely, but a lot less than I did and I am steadily getting to know people.