If you read them in the voice of The Streets (dry your eyes mate) in your head, they aren’t too bad.
It’s…. rough.
I dunno, is he like, the David Shrigley of poetry? … Actually no, I think David Shrigley is the David Shrigley of poetry
It’s all good actually.
Hey in fairness he’s figured out that whole rhyme thing, maybe soon he’ll learn about metaphor or assonance, I’m pretty sure they teach them on the second week of first year.
“Expectations” is top drawer literary genius.
Is self publishing a thing???
That last stanza of Expectations…christ . These are like something you write on a Valentine’s day card as an ironically cringe yet earnest message, not something you actually publish…
“My feeling for you are forever new”… just the one feeling?
Jesus Christ there’s 54 pages of it!
Creepy poetry of an upcoming serial killer
That’s the kind of stuff that gets published by a care home, or mental health unit, or prison, as part of an Arts and Culture grant.
It’s not about the garden, it’s about the gardening.
It reads like my ex… A narcissist!
That last part of ‘expectations’ gave us a right auld laugh anyway.
As I sat there broken hearted, tried to shit but only farted. Later on I took a chance, tried to fart but shit my pants
I could shit or puke a better poem than this
Pat Ingoldsby also self publishes and is shite.
Looks like ChatGPT wrote them
It’s like ChatGPT if ChatGPT was even shitter at writing poetry than it already is
Say what you want about his poetry but the man has 2 all Irelands and an all star
On the last one he wrote “unconscious glance” lol *
Aoife Dunne on Instagram is the worst poet I have ever read and a ridiculously prickly “comedian.”
Vogon poetry wouldn’t have a chance against this master
Eoin Mclove is his name,
Singing songs is his game,
Someday I will say hello,
And for a cup of tea we will go
If there’s a poetic way to write about love it’s definitely a phrase like “performing sexual gestures”
Imagine being on a first date and they tell you they’re a poet…
Vogon poetry.
My favourite line/s from each poem:-
1: Mine – With me you will be unhappy never- The poet does not promise happiness, but you won’t be unhappy. It’s not the best but not the worst.
2: The first time – It’s not so bad being with me- Poet grew up in repressed catholic Ireland. Sex is okay. Not so bad people. Not so bad.
3: Valentine’s day – For everyone there is atleast one person – Poet has reignited the hope in this world. There is atleast one.
4: Expectations – Every line is better than the last. Poet declares if you look at him, you can fuck him. You eat potatoes, he eats potatoes, you can fuck him.You went to the same comedy show as him you can fuck him. But if the poet peeps through your window and you are fucking someone else, you cannot fuck him.
Bubbles should stick to the hurling.
Better to be a bad poet than not a poet at all.
the font is how you know they are great
Oh dear god. It’s like the poems from dealz valentines cards.
Expectations cracked me up though.
This just looks like excerpts from my teenage angst poetry journal that I wrote when I was 13.
This has given me PTSD flashbacks of similar poetry I wrote when I was 15…. I wanted to sleep tonight ffs.
36 comments
If you read them in the voice of The Streets (dry your eyes mate) in your head, they aren’t too bad.
It’s…. rough.
I dunno, is he like, the David Shrigley of poetry? … Actually no, I think David Shrigley is the David Shrigley of poetry
It’s all good actually.
Hey in fairness he’s figured out that whole rhyme thing, maybe soon he’ll learn about metaphor or assonance, I’m pretty sure they teach them on the second week of first year.
“Expectations” is top drawer literary genius.
Is self publishing a thing???
That last stanza of Expectations…christ . These are like something you write on a Valentine’s day card as an ironically cringe yet earnest message, not something you actually publish…
“My feeling for you are forever new”… just the one feeling?
Jesus Christ there’s 54 pages of it!
Creepy poetry of an upcoming serial killer
That’s the kind of stuff that gets published by a care home, or mental health unit, or prison, as part of an Arts and Culture grant.
It’s not about the garden, it’s about the gardening.
It reads like my ex… A narcissist!
That last part of ‘expectations’ gave us a right auld laugh anyway.
As I sat there broken hearted, tried to shit but only farted. Later on I took a chance, tried to fart but shit my pants
I could shit or puke a better poem than this
Pat Ingoldsby also self publishes and is shite.
Looks like ChatGPT wrote them
It’s like ChatGPT if ChatGPT was even shitter at writing poetry than it already is
Now watch Irelands [best poet](https://youtu.be/adv4XGIhlzo?si=Pn5ZQBpn5bzCt7Dw)
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turling dromes
Say what you want about his poetry but the man has 2 all Irelands and an all star
On the last one he wrote “unconscious glance” lol *
Aoife Dunne on Instagram is the worst poet I have ever read and a ridiculously prickly “comedian.”
Vogon poetry wouldn’t have a chance against this master
Eoin Mclove is his name,
Singing songs is his game,
Someday I will say hello,
And for a cup of tea we will go
If there’s a poetic way to write about love it’s definitely a phrase like “performing sexual gestures”
Imagine being on a first date and they tell you they’re a poet…
Vogon poetry.
My favourite line/s from each poem:-
1: Mine – With me you will be unhappy never- The poet does not promise happiness, but you won’t be unhappy. It’s not the best but not the worst.
2: The first time – It’s not so bad being with me- Poet grew up in repressed catholic Ireland. Sex is okay. Not so bad people. Not so bad.
3: Valentine’s day – For everyone there is atleast one person – Poet has reignited the hope in this world. There is atleast one.
4: Expectations – Every line is better than the last. Poet declares if you look at him, you can fuck him. You eat potatoes, he eats potatoes, you can fuck him.You went to the same comedy show as him you can fuck him. But if the poet peeps through your window and you are fucking someone else, you cannot fuck him.
Bubbles should stick to the hurling.
Better to be a bad poet than not a poet at all.
the font is how you know they are great
Oh dear god. It’s like the poems from dealz valentines cards.
Expectations cracked me up though.
This just looks like excerpts from my teenage angst poetry journal that I wrote when I was 13.
This has given me PTSD flashbacks of similar poetry I wrote when I was 15…. I wanted to sleep tonight ffs.