Australische Regierung erhöht Terrorwarnstufe auf „wahrscheinlich“

15 comments

1. Someone *may* be trying to kill you in the next 12 months. Stay calm

2. Sorta to maybe? I guess, if you want. Idk. Whatever.

3. An attack is more than just possible! It’s…

   *THREAT LEVEL: PROBABLE!*

   Things just got more dangerouser.

   Coming next summer!

4. As in:

   ——————————–

   My fellow Australians!

   Please don’t worry about all those killer spiders and snakes galore!

   Don’t worry about those angry zombie foaming at the mouth Koala Bears, nor expert boxing aggressive kangaroos either!

   Nor the rampaging fires that wipe out entire neighborhoods, no sir!

   Instead… My fellow Australians…

   I now introduce yet another distracting worry: the abstract worry about possible terrorists killing 3 people, sometime in the next 1 year period!

5. Wake me up when they set it to Emu level

6. To think before we thought it NOT probable, but now it is DEFINITELY probable!

7. THREAT LEVEL MIDNIGHT

8. For those people unfamiliar with words of estimative probability, a rating of ‘probable’ means there is a greater than 50% chance of a terror related event.

9. It hasn’t hit “crikey,” so no worries.

10. Great. So what are Australians supposed to do different?

11. Who would want to hurt Austrailia?

12. Short story, the cookers (“cooker” is derived from the expression “cooked unit”, which means something heated to the point of failure, in this case the person has fried their brains on conspiracy theories) are about to do something stupid.

13. Threat level, slightly less then wildlife

14. Stay safe you guys. Keep an eye on your local Putin partners, affiliates, and franchisees.

15. “Sir are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb.”