You have to pick 3 with you to form the ultimate drinking squad, who do you choose?

by Attlai

39 comments
  1. I need you guys’ help to transform this one into a masterpiece! I haven’t drunk much with the Nordicks and the weird people from benelux yet, so your insight would be welcome!

  2. I’m guessing the Italians don’t get around to getting properly drunk because they’re busy “talking”

  3. About Hans you forgot about his fixation of staring at you while you both drink (otherwise it is years of bad sex or something).

    Don’t ask me how I know.

  4. Pierre, Luigi and Pedro are coming with. We can call Joao and Giannis Ioannou once we find a place at the pub.

  5. Jan-Klaas, Netherlands

    – Will be as loud as the Spaniards, but at least in English;

    – Drinks beers only and never pays with cash;

    -As the night progresses, his English gets more unintelligible, especially when tears up talking to you about how he misses Mark Rutte;

    – Once sufficiently drunk, will proceed to order any brown, fried food in existence;

    – His boundless hate for Belgians makes you suspect he’s secretly jealous of them – if you suggest it though, get ready to fight him;

    – After the drinking is done, will try to cycle back home, taking you on the back of his bike despite your protests.

  6. Kees:
    – Only one to arrive at the time that Hans suggested to meet
    – Meticulously keeps track of all the expenses
    – Gets weirdly nostalgic about their former colonial empire once drunk
    – Sends everyone a Tikkie once risen from this slumber the next morning

  7. Hey guys I know I didn’t say anything all day but I saw your messages on WhatsApp and decided to show up anyway

  8. Pedro, Kostas, John. Pesho would be cool to have around as well

  9. The German one is accurate, but it is missing Hans opening beer bottles with the most random objects one can think of

  10. You included turkey and the us, but neglected half of europe? GTFO

  11. I’ve noticed that switch up from the germs a few times too. Hansi flick if you will. Pure ass Berger to off his little chops in the space of 5 minutes. I also think the UK has changed quite a bit over the past 5 years. We day drink more now so it’s more of a steady march into the coma/kebab/taxi instead of going full nuclear at pre drinks then into town. Can’t even remember the last time I went into town for a night out. It’s always a day session

  12. Belgium:

    – Will lecture everyone on which beer glass is the right one
    – Will start crying when you order them a Heineken

  13. The one Romanian I’ve known never drank (about 22 at the time) and I tried a few times to get him to drink and he told me that he had a drinking problem when he was about 11 so gave it up and hasn’t drank since.

  14. Pierre, Hans, Barry.

    (As long as Pierre is cool French… Cantona, Antoine de Caunes, Mesrine).

  15. When I’m in Europe and I notice other Americans, I intentionally avoid speaking English. Even my friend I grew up with that lives in France will do it too. I have to scrape what little French I can muster when we’re together so we can avoid speaking English in front of them because they will want to hang out and embarrass us. Sometimes they spot me and ask me something in English and I respond
    in Spanish or French to them. Sorry I leave the country to get away from you

  16. John: his ignorance of Europe will eventually get very tiresome

  17. I have to admit it’s pretty good.

    I’ll take Bruce, Kostas and Luigi

  18. add to the british one that they’re gonna grab your shoulder and spit onto your neck while trying to yell something about slags into your ear.

  19. I really though making philosophical conversation and pretending not to be drunk and making drama was an universal behavieur.

  20. My team is obviously with Luigi and Kostas, but somehow the combo spanish+irish works damn well everytime alcohol is involved. They laugh, dance, sing… fucking mediterraneans placed in the wrong place. And in the last times I have traveled to Czech Republic a few times for work, and once they drink and get relaxed, they are also great company.

  21. Can I choose myself? Anyway if not then Pierre, Hans and Kostas seem like good choices, would love to see the reaction of Hans having his plans ruined by Kostas too

  22. I’m going drinking with Bruce, Paddy and Daffydd. Keeping it in the family.

  23. Bruce the Australian:

    – Will sine wave between Barry and Hans

    – Won’t stop talking shit about Trevor the Kiwi

    – If Trevor the Kiwi turns up, will get into a sport one-upmanship contest

    – If a fight breaks out, will bash everyone in sight. If Trevor is in attendance will either team up to bash everyone harder or will bash Trevor the hardest.

  24. Hands down either the pigs or the Balkan dudes

    Pedro (myself) will bring the endurance & the capacity to go chat with any interesting person (aka someone they want to fick, or just talk to), Kostas the chaotic energy that pairs well and helps end the night anywhere you might imagine

    Luigi or Pierre have q way to attract the unsuspecting for Pedro then to go for the kill, so can be good buddies. Plus they don’t drink so much, wine mostly, unless you’re talking Normans or southern French (eau de vie, pastis), or mountain Luigis. Plus with Luigi you might end eating some awesome homemade pasta at 5am

    Both Balkans are our mirror from the east

  25. we romanians keep our tuica in water bottles, every kid has had that one moment where they thought there was water in the fridge and it was a 55% tuica :))

  26. Jarmo
    – Will keep drinking till the morning, he keeps getting in a better mood the more he drinks
    – Will stop speaking English at some point (if he started with that) and start speaking Finnish with an accent they never use while sober
    – Will bring up how ruzzians are bastards at some point
    – Absolutely won’t let anyone who isn’t Finnish within 3 meters

  27. This is… way to accurate. I thought you all feel awkward until you had some alcohol, why else would you be drinking?

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