This is honestly the most aggressively English list of auction items I've ever seen

by IWrestleSausages

29 comments
  1. I assume they’re bidding to avoid winning some of these lots

  2. Number 15 lol who’s gonna bid on that , I’d just walk

  3. The paraglide for 30mins just imagining someone shouting your times up and yanking you back to the ground. Some of the others so niche

  4. At least the Rutland Nursery Voucher for £20 is probably worth around £10-20, I guess.

  5. Sounds like the kind of shite you’d win on Bullseye in the 80s! Just missing a speedboat

  6. I would like delicious desserts for 8 people, for one person.

  7. Ceramic beefburger really going hard against a fucking cottage

  8. I wonder if Eduardo’s Chili Con Carne for 10 people is handmade and ceramic.

  9. I’ll absolutely bid on a ceramic pork pie! That sounds fantastic!

    Fuck the holiday and wine, give me the fake pie!

  10. Eduardo putting the least work in, like I guess the Paella and Risotto will be cooked for you.

    Not the Chilli – “Ready frozen”, lol

  11. The lift to the station made me laugh out loud! All kinda wholesome though 🙂

  12. I like the ellipsis after the paragliding one and the fact it doesn’t even have its own number, it’s 19a. Like they were really unsure of whether to go ahead and put that one in there or not.

  13. I see I’m not the one person to make a wild guess that the handmade ceramic beef burger is made by the same person as the handmade ceramic pork pie lmfao

  14. The babysitting ones are kind of weird too, like are you really going to leave your kids with a complete stranger? 

  15. A private tour of Hampton Court Palace? We know what Lucy Worsley donated

  16. Honestly if this was a raffle I’d find it charming and would buy a few tickets hoping for the better prizes. As an auction. Oooff tough sell.

  17. As useless as most of this list is to me there’s something charmingly wholesome about it. I’d like to see some of the ceramic foodstuffs.

  18. My best friend lives in Manton. Rutland is so wealthy, hilarious that this is all they’ve come up with 😂

  19. I can’t believe no one has mentioned the 6 hours of video tape transfers in at no.22. Just what I’ve always wanted!

  20. Please post pictures of the ceramic pork pie if you can get some. I really want to see it. Ditto the ceramic beefburger.

  21. >23. Drinks and nibbles with a view for 6 people outside

    Crucially doesn’t what the view is. Sydney Opera House, perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeasts swinging majestically…?

  22. I used to live round there, guess I never ran in the right circles to get the chance to snag a ceramic pork pie… disappointing

  23. I’ll have the ceramic pork pie! Does he ship to Canada?

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