Poor Santa will need a pack of rennies after that platter.

by ZaphyrBreeze

25 comments
  1. I always wondered does Father Christmas leave the UK last on the list for deliveries purely due to the amount of booze we expect him to drink whilst here? lol.

  2. The 4 stages of life.

    1. You believe in Santa

    2. You don’t believe in Santa

    3. You are Santa

    4. You look like Santa

  3. Yeah, my dad had us leave whiskey and mince pies for him. Then he would be the first one down to ‘check if Santa’s been’
    He would take his time.

  4. In my house Father Christmas gets a cookie and a mince pie, and a wee dram of single malt to wash it down. And a carrot for Rudolph.

  5. Never mind seeing mommy kissing Santa Claus, you’ll find him hunched over on the toilet after that.

  6. I would leave out a can of warm Skol for my Dad as he detested the stuff but his old man would bring down a crate when they stayed for Christmas/ New Year.

    He would have inhaled that platter.

  7. Since when is calling him Santa an American thing?

    I’ve never heard anyone use the term “father Christmas” outside of old timey books or movies in my entire life.

  8. I always leave a couple of cans of decent beer for Father Christmas. Must be thirsty when he gets to our house though as he always seems to find the Jamesons….

  9. “American” is a literal slur at this point. People throw that word around like it’s some repulsive pejorative that represents the worst of humanity. Americans are just people, more similar to us Brits than most care to admit. The transatlantic animosity is so silly.

  10. People will buy this just to make a TikTok or instagram post! “Oh look at me, I have a perfect life, I’m so organised, I’m going to leave this overpriced platter out for Santa then go and meditate before I update my journal and go to bed”

  11. Okay, this was a Taskmaster challenge in the Champion of Champions series.

  12. “Father Christmas doesn’t like milk, he wants beer”

  13. The “Father Christmas” bit is pure pedantry, it’s been more common and just as acceptable to say “Santa! for at least three decades just by my own experience of being alive and it’s probably been longer than that; at some point people need to get over it.

  14. Father Christmas got a stiff brandy and a mince pie at my house, Rudolf got a carrot and there was hay for the other reindeer.

  15. I figured out Santa wasn’t real due to a mince pie.

    We used to leave out a can of beer and a mince pie for him. Only me and my Nan used to eat mince pies, and she usually ate Santa’s one but she wasn’t visiting us that year.

    Later in the day I went to get one and found all 6 still in the open box – when I asked Mum why Santa put his pie back in box she realized the game was up and just told me not to tell my younger sister.

  16. It’s not for Santa, it looks like Santa when you rearrange it how they do in the picture.

  17. Told my kids that Father Christmas really loves…. A pint of cider and a large doner kebab, on naan bread, with extra garlic mayo.

  18. I used to leave a carrot for the reindeer and biscuits and lemonade for Santa.

  19. We used to leave santa a Jack Daniels with coke and rum cake. I realised later in life that’s what my mother liked as a midnight snack lol.

  20. Wait until next week the Influencer ‘ moldy health edition will release with a bottle of pro biotic pisswater

  21. As a kid I remember being told leave four cans out and I think some biscuits and my old man came home from a late shift one Christmas eve/early hours of Christmas day and had a bit of the turkey, a little slice off the side barely noticeable, and my mother told me santa did it. So I grew up thinking the fat fucker would help himself to Christmas dinner, eat a plate of biscuits then wash it down with a four pack of lager.

  22. When my parents were together, we would leave out a glass of milk, a glass of port, some mince pies, and carrots (for the reindeer!)

    After they split up, I would then leave a glass of port and some mince pies out at my dad’s house, and some carrots out at my mum’s.

    Funniest part is my mum’s a vegetarian.

  23. The growth of ‘Santa’ angers me beyond reason, even my mother, a prim and staunch Englishy-English person, now says ‘Santa’…but if anyone says ‘Zee’ rather than ‘Zed’, she has an aneuysm.

  24. I remember my Mum once old me Danta had made himself Egg and Chips

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