“absolute”

by Budget_Pick_2829

43 comments

  4. This is fair, I’ve heard someone call someone else an absolute breadstick before

  10. In the same way that the past tense of almost any word means they are drunk
    (E.g. slaughtered, trollied, floored, trousered)

  12. I used to love watching one of the police TV shows (I think it was Police Interceptors) where the presenter would often refer to the perpetrator as an “absolute valve”

  20. Also, the phrase “{synonym of “completely”} {any possible noun}ed” means inebriated. Examples: I got completely plastered last night; Alan got totally wankered at the Christmas party; uncle Gerry got absolutely trolleyed at the wedding; I feel like getting utterly parliamented this evening.

  23. You absolute water.

    You absolute Africa.

    You absolute potassium.

    Am I doing it right?

  27. You can do the same thing with “absolutely <noun>ed” to describe being drunk too.

    “You were a total carrot last night when you were absolutely treetopped”.

  31. We can make any word mean body parts as well. For example I went to the cinema and reported back that Florence Pugh got her Oppenheimers out.

  34. My stepmom once called my sister an ‘absolute lettuce’ and it’s one of the only things I remember about her.

  39. ‘you absolute doorframe’ is my personal favourite

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