Dad slams school as he’s forced to take autistic daughter home every time she needs the toilet

33 comments

1. British society as a whole completely fails disabled people. Even many designated special schools struggle to manage. My brother’s was still doing reception activities with him when he was 15 – it’s no wonder he acted out. 

2. This is indignant. So much virtue signalling and we cant help those that are really in need.

3. You can’t really blame the school if an 11 year old can’t use the bathroom.

   It won’t be £10 to fix the issue either. I doubt a public school can just do some rogue DIY without approval. It actually mentions he’s unemployed in the same paragraph, subtle dig at not knowing how the world works.

   Also if they did modify the bathrooms for one student, it sets a precedent for all kinds of other tailored, specific needs that go way beyond the usual accessibility requirements.

4. How can it possibly cost thousands of pounds to install a toilet seat lid??
   And it’s just so typical that the school has now agreed to get a lid fitted once this is in the public domain! Name and shame seems to be the only way to get businesses to act sensibly these days.

5. Don’t blame the schools. Schools are utterly underfunded and unable to cope with kids that have special requirements. I really worry about the future generations and our countries future. Fact is, most governments are unwilling to invest because the benefits won’t be seen for a long time when they’re unlikely to be in power.

6. I don’t understand how the toiled lid would resolve noise ans sensory issues?

7. Is this honestly a joke? You can’t just cave into Children’s every quirk and weirdness simply because they’ve got Autism. How is this girl going to survive in the real world if she’s spent her entire childhood being mollycoddled like this? She’s gonna end up a nervous wreck or a shut-in.

8. Schools are ridiculous with toilet policies. I’ve had times where i’ve been told i can’t go to the toilet at the end of lunch before (Which rubbed me the wrong way, moreso because i was quite clearly a 6th form student as well, so being treated like a Year 7 made be rather annoyed internally)

9. So are these toilets without a lid due to disrepair or because they’re designed that way?

10. No lids on toilets? Why? When you flush without a lid microscopic germs just go *everywhere* in the air. Gross.

11. You’ve got it the wrong way round. Without the world changing to meet her needs she WILL end up a nervous wreck or a shut-in

12. Don’t slam the school, slam years if Tory rule which decimated funding for special schools.

    And yes if she can’t use a toilet without a lid then she needs a special school

13. I don’t get it, it seems extreme. Can they not have a TA flush or use earmuffs?

14. I pity school staff who have to deal with shit like this on a daily basis.
    Homeschool her then, especially since the father is unemployed anyway.

15. I don’t understand. It’s just the lid at the top right where all the water is? They cost nothing to buy. Hell you could just put wood over it and it’ll stop a lot of the sound

    What’s the deal here? There’s no way it would cost “thousands” to put a lid on an open toilet…

16. If it’s to do with the noise surely her dad could send her to school with ear defenders?

17. >but claims the school cited costs running into “thousands” as a reason for not installing one

    What kind of toilet lid are they installing that costs thousands?

18. Sorry if it’s harsh but what’s the point? It honestly sounds like she’ll never be able to handle the real world if she can only handle 3 hours of school. Surely it would be better to just home school her? Not like the dad’s got anything else to do.

19. If she has sensory issues I would have thought she’d own some sort of ear protectors for being in public or situations that where volume can not be controlled.

20. There’s nonsense on all sides of this one.

    Should a school just be able to put lids on some of the toilets in the school for a child like this? Yes, absolutely, it shouldn’t need hundreds of pounds of contractor fees either.

    But, if you have noise issues with the flush of a toilet, put some ear defenders in your bag and learn to use those to muffle the sound. Being autistic doesn’t mean you can’t have basic problem solving skills or any responsibility for your own life experience.

    And if you can only manage 3 hours of school you shouldn’t be in a mainstream school, you’re obviously not going to get a complete education that way and you’re being set up for failure.

21. I’d be interested to know where he lives if he’s from Barnsley and a round trip is 55 minutes. It’s not as if Barnsley is massive and the school is less than 15 mins from the town centre.

22. My daughter has an autoimmune disease. She misses a lot of school. Sometime calpol helped but I had to go to school to give it to her half way through the day if she needed it. School refused to give it. School would often send her home sick. Then I got shitty letters about her attendance.

    My daughter’s condition means she’s susceptible to internal bleeding and she needs to go to hospital if she hits her head or stomach. School also used to not inform me when she’s had accidents that meant she should have been in a&e.

23. I have no idea if the system has changed drastically in 16 years since I left school or if I was particularly lucky, but I attended mainstream school as a full time wheelchair user. I was also immunocompromised, every case of childhood disease had to be reported to my mum so we could take action, and I could do school work from home. Plus I’d have stays in hospital lasting weeks which they also supported me through.

24. Schools being rented is the problem and it’s one the Tory party allowed to happen.

25. A frustrated father has hit out at a school for its failure to install a toilet lid, resulting in him taking an almost hour-long journey every time his autistic daughter needs the loo. Michael Free, aged 48, says his 11 year old daughter, who struggles with noise and sensory issues, cannot use toilets without a lid.
    He had brought this to Netherwood Academy’s attention in Barnsley a year before she began there in September but claims the school cited costs running into “thousands” as a reason for not installing one. Consequently, since September, he has had no choice but to pick his daughter up and take her home each time she requires the facilities, a round-trip of 55 minutes.

    Given that her sensory difficulties mean she only attends from 11am to 2pm each day, the situation is far from ideal. Yet, after the school was contacted for a statement this week, they promised to install a seat lid to meet the student’s needs.

26. It doesn’t make this right. But we need to understand the context of why schools are struggling to meet children’s needs.
    Bad Behaviour and truanting is at an all time high, which means the toilet is often used as an excuse to leave lesson. Schools and teachers are under so much pressure to deliver grades with not enough resources that we are given militant policies from the leadership team.
    In my state school it’s about 34 to a class in science. This is absurd and frankly almost unsafe for practical lessons.
    We have children with a wide variety of needs who require bespoke interventions, resources and approaches. Because if we don’t they will have a meltdown.
    Sometimes the job is amazing. Sometimes it makes you want to cry everyday.

    Schools are underfunded, understaffed and failing.

27. If the noise of the flushing is the issue, can’t she just not flush? Like it’s kind of gross for the person but I’ve walked into many a unflushed restroom and as long as there’s not piss and shit all over the seat, I’ll just flush, use it, and flush again.

28. As someone who worked in Education in the UK across many levels, learners with additional needs are neglected far more than society cares to admit.

    Teachers are expected to burden an ummangable amount in the classrooms with little to no support. These learners simply don’t get the support they need.

    Those who want to climb the ladder into management simply don’t care and are out of touch with what happens in the classroom.

    It’s just a vicious cycle.

29. I had to pull my autistic son out of high school they just refused to help or meet his care needs. It lead to his mental decline into self harm. Flash forward to now he should in year 10. We just got granted an EHCP and have been told we should have had this help from the start. It’s too late for our son the education system is on its knees for anyone who can’t function in the meat grinder of high school. It’s beyond a joke.

30. Maybe the “real world” and “mainstream school” IS NOT made for people like this. Instead of trying to make the general services work for those with needs, we should invest in services that are tailored to said needs.

    It’s ridiculous and virtue signalling to expect otherwise. The world should be accessible, yes, to a reasonable degree. But if you’re not able to acclimate into those accessible and reasonable adjustments, that’s on your disability and yourself / your support system to find accommodations, services and different ways that work.

    There’s no such thing as a world that works for everyone. Nevermind a fucking toilet seat.

31. I think you’ll find, like many NHS buildings and other public toilets, they just don’t have lids full stop.

    Why?

    Lids break, they crack, fingers get caught in them, and they harbour infection rather than preventing the spread of infection the way they’re supposed to because no one puts them down afterwards.

    What I don’t understand is exactly why the kid needs a fucking lid? Just learn to use a toilet without it?
    The lid is not an integral part of *use*.

    Sorry but sometimes life is uncomfortable and you just need to deal with it. The world doesn’t change to suit everyone.

32. I’m struggling to find the school at fault on this one.

    So a year before she started, the school had already said they couldn’t accomodate the request. But they must have come to some agreement since she’s only doing 3 hour days (less than that if she leaves for the toilet), but has he since realised doing the hour round trips is actually pretty inconvenient?

    Also, the school *is* getting a designated cubicle set up for her…. I don’t think this is an issue with the school being ableist, sounds more like they were working based on the agreement with the dad whereas the dad was just assuming the school was still going to get the toilet seats.

    But I don’t really get what this story is. If anything it’s just highlighting a girl with issues that should have been picked up and dealt with sooner and in more detail than “she’s autistic”.

33. School toilets don’t have lids for 2 very good reasons, kids smash them up and piss on them and they are harder to clean properly.
    That’s an ongoing unnecessary cost that cash strapped schools could do without.
    I think in this girls case she would be better served being homeschooled or getting a place at a special school.
    And you just know that if the school did install seats someone else would have an issue with the noise of the lid slamming instead.

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