1) It’s the parent’s fault in the first place if their (able) child is shitting themselves in school. Don’t want to hear bollocks about too busy working etc. this seems to be a brand new phenomenon.
2) In the case of disabled/spectrum/whatever kids, it’s just an unfortunate reality of the situation. It’s not the teacher’s job to wipe their arse and change their underwear.
Either the schools hire support care or the parents come in to do it. Not the job of teachers.
Why are parents failing to toilet train their children by school age? It’s a sign of the times that many find parenting too difficult today. Too many parents are abdicating their responsibilities to others, everyone else is to blame but not them! Why on Earth should it be a teachers responsibly to change nappies?
>We have members telling us that children as old as seven and eight, who have no additional learning needs or medical conditions, are struggling with toileting.
I’m sorry… what?
>Grandfather Gavin Wise said the policy was “unfair”.
>”If the kid’s in school, that’s what they’re there for, to be looked after.
>If they employed someone else to come in and do that for them, it shouldn’t be a problem. I’d say it’s part of the job.”
Ok Gavin, how much of a tax increase would you be willing to pay the schools to hire staff to change nappies?
> Eric, a children’s bowel and bladder charity, said it was concerned parents were being “shamed” for not having toilet trained their children.
Perhaps they should be shamed. Some of these cases will be children who have bowel issues but, given the decline of toilet training since COVID, it sounds like many parents aren’t doing their job.
> “These knee-jerk reactions miss a crucial point – when things go wrong, there are far fewer opportunities now for parents to get help,” said Juliette Rayner, the charity’s chief executive.
> “The knock-on effects of the pandemic and cuts to essential children’s services in recent years have contributed to this issue and, if not addressed soon, it could have serious implications for children’s health and education.
> “Children affected by bowel and bladder issues need to be treated quickly, while the problems are still at an early stage, and before they become a lifelong burden.”
I feel bad for the kids and agree we need more funding for public services but forcing schools to fix these issues isn’t appropriate. Schools are there to do the very important task of education and their staff are being distracted from that task to deal with a problem they’re not employed to deal with.
‘Unfair’ to send children to school and expect someone else to wipe their arse for you 😏
I have a COVID baby.
We have struggled with potty training and had absolutely no support for it. Waiting lists are long, it’s impossible to get hold of a health visitor and NHS advice is always “don’t pressure him, you’ll traumatise him and make his anxiety worse, give it a break and try again in a month”. We couldn’t even get him to sit on a potty until after 3 despite following all the advice given. He’s pretty much there now and will be starting school this year, but it’s been hell and there has been a lot of shaming from people we know, but what were we supposed to do? Hold him down until he goes while he sobs in fear?
We are working parents because we have to pay the mortgage which doubled when rates went up. When I got pregnant we had it all planned out and budgeted, we did the responsible thing, but how were we supposed to predict everything going to shit? I would love so much to have had him home with me all the time to work on it with him but we’ve had to rely on nursery doing practice with him during the day while we do it at home, this meant things were inconsistent which made it even harder for him. I don’t know any parents who haven’t had to go back to work as soon as possible after maternity leave so we just don’t get the time that we would have otherwise had to work consistently on these skills.
I don’t think school staff should be expected to change children, but I also think a little bit of compassion towards parents who are struggling would be much better than shaming and berating them.
I was one of those children in the early 2000s.
I personally blame parents but also some of the large corporations who manufacture larger bedwetting nappies etc – they market them in such a way that make it too easy and too socially acceptable for able children to wear comfortable and absorbent pullups etc.
I had a significantly turbulent and abusive childhood and I wore those Drynites pants well into my older childhood years, nothing wrong with me medically other than never being properly trained and there being an expectation that I would probably wet myself, so I had to wear a pullup wherever I went.
It’s became a catch 22, where I essentially made minimal effort to reach a toilet as it was expected of me to just use my nappy anyway. Again, when you know no better it’s difficult to stop.
It felt completely normal to me as that’s what I was used to at the time – looking back, it was fucking bonkers.
Sadly elements of this have chased me into my adult life and I suffer from incontinence problems in my mid 20s – I am receiving medical support and counselling for PTSD but it makes life extremely difficult and is very damaging.
It’s not ‘Unfair’ unless your child has a medical condition. It’s not the schools job to teach your child how to use the toilet and be nappy trained, that’s the parents job.
Idea: A fine system. Basically, the school agrees that if it’s a one off, say once in a month, that is let off the hook. If a child repeatedly needs defocation support, it is required that the parents provide a medical exemption. If none is provided, those parents are liable to pay for a babysitter who can tend to such matters. Something to motivate tight parents to educate their kids and a method that gives more work to Babysitters. Only downside is the class is still going to reek from time to time.
Feckless breeders are exactly the sort of people who will have time to pop into school to wipe their idiot kids arse. Not like they’ll be working.
Who is supposed to be teaching the class when a child of 6 or 7 needs cleaning and changing?
It’s been five years. We need to stop blaming COVID.
It will only happen a few times before the parents decide to toilet train the kids….. Cause and effect
Lazy entitled parenting
My partner is a principal care teacher in a primary school just outside of Edinburgh and this becoming a common problem at their school. Kids as old as P3 are having to come to school in Nappy’s and the parents genuinely don’t see anything wrong with this.
My parents both worked full time and I managed not to shit myself daily in school through some magic.
If you bring life into the world it’s your responsibility to do your best to raise it to the best of your ability.
Do these people not have any shame? If you have a child of school age, who is not disabled or in the process of being diagnosed as such, and they are not toilet trained, you have failed as a parent.
17 comments
Two things:
1) It’s the parent’s fault in the first place if their (able) child is shitting themselves in school. Don’t want to hear bollocks about too busy working etc. this seems to be a brand new phenomenon.
2) In the case of disabled/spectrum/whatever kids, it’s just an unfortunate reality of the situation. It’s not the teacher’s job to wipe their arse and change their underwear.
Either the schools hire support care or the parents come in to do it. Not the job of teachers.
Why are parents failing to toilet train their children by school age? It’s a sign of the times that many find parenting too difficult today. Too many parents are abdicating their responsibilities to others, everyone else is to blame but not them! Why on Earth should it be a teachers responsibly to change nappies?
>We have members telling us that children as old as seven and eight, who have no additional learning needs or medical conditions, are struggling with toileting.
I’m sorry… what?
>Grandfather Gavin Wise said the policy was “unfair”.
>”If the kid’s in school, that’s what they’re there for, to be looked after.
>If they employed someone else to come in and do that for them, it shouldn’t be a problem. I’d say it’s part of the job.”
Ok Gavin, how much of a tax increase would you be willing to pay the schools to hire staff to change nappies?
> Eric, a children’s bowel and bladder charity, said it was concerned parents were being “shamed” for not having toilet trained their children.
Perhaps they should be shamed. Some of these cases will be children who have bowel issues but, given the decline of toilet training since COVID, it sounds like many parents aren’t doing their job.
> “These knee-jerk reactions miss a crucial point – when things go wrong, there are far fewer opportunities now for parents to get help,” said Juliette Rayner, the charity’s chief executive.
> “The knock-on effects of the pandemic and cuts to essential children’s services in recent years have contributed to this issue and, if not addressed soon, it could have serious implications for children’s health and education.
> “Children affected by bowel and bladder issues need to be treated quickly, while the problems are still at an early stage, and before they become a lifelong burden.”
I feel bad for the kids and agree we need more funding for public services but forcing schools to fix these issues isn’t appropriate. Schools are there to do the very important task of education and their staff are being distracted from that task to deal with a problem they’re not employed to deal with.
‘Unfair’ to send children to school and expect someone else to wipe their arse for you 😏
I have a COVID baby.
We have struggled with potty training and had absolutely no support for it. Waiting lists are long, it’s impossible to get hold of a health visitor and NHS advice is always “don’t pressure him, you’ll traumatise him and make his anxiety worse, give it a break and try again in a month”. We couldn’t even get him to sit on a potty until after 3 despite following all the advice given. He’s pretty much there now and will be starting school this year, but it’s been hell and there has been a lot of shaming from people we know, but what were we supposed to do? Hold him down until he goes while he sobs in fear?
We are working parents because we have to pay the mortgage which doubled when rates went up. When I got pregnant we had it all planned out and budgeted, we did the responsible thing, but how were we supposed to predict everything going to shit? I would love so much to have had him home with me all the time to work on it with him but we’ve had to rely on nursery doing practice with him during the day while we do it at home, this meant things were inconsistent which made it even harder for him. I don’t know any parents who haven’t had to go back to work as soon as possible after maternity leave so we just don’t get the time that we would have otherwise had to work consistently on these skills.
I don’t think school staff should be expected to change children, but I also think a little bit of compassion towards parents who are struggling would be much better than shaming and berating them.
I was one of those children in the early 2000s.
I personally blame parents but also some of the large corporations who manufacture larger bedwetting nappies etc – they market them in such a way that make it too easy and too socially acceptable for able children to wear comfortable and absorbent pullups etc.
I had a significantly turbulent and abusive childhood and I wore those Drynites pants well into my older childhood years, nothing wrong with me medically other than never being properly trained and there being an expectation that I would probably wet myself, so I had to wear a pullup wherever I went.
It’s became a catch 22, where I essentially made minimal effort to reach a toilet as it was expected of me to just use my nappy anyway. Again, when you know no better it’s difficult to stop.
It felt completely normal to me as that’s what I was used to at the time – looking back, it was fucking bonkers.
Sadly elements of this have chased me into my adult life and I suffer from incontinence problems in my mid 20s – I am receiving medical support and counselling for PTSD but it makes life extremely difficult and is very damaging.
It’s not ‘Unfair’ unless your child has a medical condition. It’s not the schools job to teach your child how to use the toilet and be nappy trained, that’s the parents job.
Idea: A fine system. Basically, the school agrees that if it’s a one off, say once in a month, that is let off the hook. If a child repeatedly needs defocation support, it is required that the parents provide a medical exemption. If none is provided, those parents are liable to pay for a babysitter who can tend to such matters. Something to motivate tight parents to educate their kids and a method that gives more work to Babysitters. Only downside is the class is still going to reek from time to time.
Feckless breeders are exactly the sort of people who will have time to pop into school to wipe their idiot kids arse. Not like they’ll be working.
Who is supposed to be teaching the class when a child of 6 or 7 needs cleaning and changing?
It’s been five years. We need to stop blaming COVID.
It will only happen a few times before the parents decide to toilet train the kids….. Cause and effect
Lazy entitled parenting
My partner is a principal care teacher in a primary school just outside of Edinburgh and this becoming a common problem at their school. Kids as old as P3 are having to come to school in Nappy’s and the parents genuinely don’t see anything wrong with this.
My parents both worked full time and I managed not to shit myself daily in school through some magic.
If you bring life into the world it’s your responsibility to do your best to raise it to the best of your ability.
Do these people not have any shame? If you have a child of school age, who is not disabled or in the process of being diagnosed as such, and they are not toilet trained, you have failed as a parent.
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