Just us and Hans, we take either Pedro or Luigi as a third, because we’re paying for them anyway.
Hans, Jan and Barry as a comic relief
Sweden is way off.
Whats typical work place culture here is that it is very, very flat with little hierarchy, to the degree that it can be hard to know who is in charge, and in addition to that people take fika (coffee breaks) all the time.
I think what people usually mean with “work ethics” def dont apply in Sweden. People will just tell their boss “I need to go home early because my cat is sick, Ill finish my work tomorrow” after a 30 minute fika break.
The big advantage with this is that it creates a culture where people are not afraid to point out flaws (even though what most people point out is idiotic) and that the best ideas to improve something often comes from the bottom up, not top down.
But you will def not see Swedes work hard compared to other countries.
Hans and Sven to get the job done.
Niko or Luigi for my mental health, so I don’t murder Hans.
Niko will have a brilliant but expensive idea, Hans will lend me money for said idea and the Dutch guy will do all the work to put it in practice
Hans, Jan and Sven, we just have to watch what we say to Sven
Hans, Jan and a Norwegian.
Niko, Luigi and Pedro.
The work will never be done, but at least it will be a fun time.
So… we’re the boss… that would be funny indeed.
Obviously Barry because that’s my boy right there
Obviously Hans because he’s the best worker
And then I’ll hire Luigi for catering while also plastering his 10/10 charming face on all promotional material for the project
Job done, bosh
I work with Swedes.
They are pretty fucking pedantic and in no obvious hurry to do anything.
Contributes to the bare minimum? We may not contribute to both sides like you Luigi, but whatever side we’re on actually gets something worth having
Should’ve been “claims they could get better pay elsewhere, storms out, becomes a hobo”
Us only
The perfect team is a Hans with Jan + Another but polish Jan. Hans plans, Jan to make sense of the over complicated plan and Polish Jan for the labor. Job will be done 2 weeks before deadline and everyone drinks in the office when no one watches.
Having worked with all of these before except Jan and Luigi, I’ll easily take Hans, Sven and Pedro.
Being the supervisor i am… Pedro, Jan and a frog.
The frog will say they should be leader, I’ll let the frog lead and climb into bed with Pedro increasing his and my response times.
The frog and Jan will do most of the work and when it’s almost all done, I’ll drag Pedro out of bed we will do the finishing touches and I’ll claim I was the best leader of all times.
Barry is one of the least likely to drink on the job from all those countries.
I can’t work out why you bothered to include us in that little game of yours.
You might as well have listed us as “will kill your mum, or your pet if said mum is dead”.
It’s not gaslighting if it’s true.
I’m outsourcing to china
Pierre, Luigi and ummm Pedro
Unhinged yet fun jokes? Barry, you’re hired, no questions asked!
Then I’ll hire Sven, in case I miss some jokes from Barry he will tell me. Bonus: he works.
We need someone pedantic to make sure we’re doing our job properly, so Hans, welcome onboard.
– hire Pierre
– hire Jan
-Wait for them to tear themselves to pieces while taking free coffee break with luigi
-if thing go bad blame it on Pierre and Jan
Pierre, Hans, Jan. The deadly cocktail. No way shit ever gets done, we’d beaker about who’s right and how we should proceed to no ends.
If i want shit to get done, then Pierre, Pedro (works the longest hours in the EU as opposed to Hans who works the shortest) and Niko (works on Saturday nowadays i’ve heard lmao). At least we won’t argue on how things get done.
I’ll take a hans, a pierre and a luigi
Barry, Hans and Jan, the best combination for efficiency and banter
Don’t be delusional guys, you also do remote work in pajamas. 😂
Hans, Jan and Barry (I need a break from the other two from time to time)
Jan, Pierre and Sven is nightmare material
Realistically, we could appoint 5 and make Niko, Pedro and Luigi split 1 pay. They won’t know the difference.
Pierre, Hans and Jan, so while Pierre and Jan try to convince the other that their way is the best, and Hans tries to convince them that the current procedures are the best, I will happily go on coffee break and savor my espresso.
But don’t you worry, I will sporadically come back to support Pierre, then suddenly Hans, then suddenly again Jan.
The Spanish stereotype is kind of false, it’s true for people who don’t have a job (which are many). But those who work, work really hard, especially in the private sphere. At least this is my experience. I’ve worked in London, Budapest and Spain and out of of all of these Spanish were the hardest workers with longest hours.
I’ll take Jan, Sven and Hans of course.
Then I will tell Hans to stfu and just do his work efficiently, aiming for 80% quality.
I’ll serve Sven some coffee on his desk so he can binge it while working.
For Jan, I’ll tell not to say a word of dutch and everything will be fine.
Sven would get me fired in 5 minutes and Pierre might push for my overthrow. Niko no and I would get jealous of Pedro.
1. jan
2. Luigi
3. Hans
2 Hans and another Jan.
Guys be strategic about this, would it be nice to work with Hans and Jan and let them do all the work, sure, but this isn’t school, if you’re in an office with Hans and Jan guess who is getting fired at the next round of cuts.
I’d rather take Nico, us, pedro or even Pierre, because at that point I just have to be slightly more productive/less insufferable than them
Hans, Jan and Luigi, easy choices.
Hans, Sven and Barry.
Anytime Barry tells a non PC joke and Sven goes to HR because of it, he gets his “bare minimum” raised until he has to do the most work. Hans and Sven do their Job Just fine and Hans also knows what Barry has got to do and will help him to motivate.
In the end Barry will be the hardest worker indeed and earn all the credit he tried to steal. But as this was some condition for Barry not to get fired for his behaviour it won’t get him anywhere 😂
Hear me out. If Jan believes he’s right. And he makes you believe he’s right.
Doesn’t that mean that Jan’s just right
I take Niko and Luigi with me.
You’re not ready for the beautiful, overpriced, caffeine-induced, avant-garde shit we’ll propose.
You’re not ready.
While Sven gets the job done, I take a goog siesta and then go to eat with my friend Lugi 👍🏻
If it’s important, Hans, Sven and Jan
If it’s not, Hans, Barry and Niko, just to make Hans go crazy
I am Pierre. I pick Hans to ensure guidelines are respected, then I pick Luigi to mitigate Hans’ pedantic attitude, and to finish I pick Jan because his efficiency will mitigate Luigi’s sloppy tendencies.
All in all, I believe it’s a well balanced work group!
I’ll hire Hans and Jan to do the job, and Barry to hang out with in the meantime.
I legit had a friend who worked remote in coding, and he would wake up, connect, put a weight on the space tab so it would monitor like he was typing, and go back to bed for at least another hour.
45 comments
Just us and Hans, we take either Pedro or Luigi as a third, because we’re paying for them anyway.
Hans, Jan and Barry as a comic relief
Sweden is way off.
Whats typical work place culture here is that it is very, very flat with little hierarchy, to the degree that it can be hard to know who is in charge, and in addition to that people take fika (coffee breaks) all the time.
I think what people usually mean with “work ethics” def dont apply in Sweden. People will just tell their boss “I need to go home early because my cat is sick, Ill finish my work tomorrow” after a 30 minute fika break.
The big advantage with this is that it creates a culture where people are not afraid to point out flaws (even though what most people point out is idiotic) and that the best ideas to improve something often comes from the bottom up, not top down.
But you will def not see Swedes work hard compared to other countries.
Hans and Sven to get the job done.
Niko or Luigi for my mental health, so I don’t murder Hans.
Niko will have a brilliant but expensive idea, Hans will lend me money for said idea and the Dutch guy will do all the work to put it in practice
Hans, Jan and Sven, we just have to watch what we say to Sven
Hans, Jan and a Norwegian.
Niko, Luigi and Pedro.
The work will never be done, but at least it will be a fun time.
So… we’re the boss… that would be funny indeed.
Obviously Barry because that’s my boy right there
Obviously Hans because he’s the best worker
And then I’ll hire Luigi for catering while also plastering his 10/10 charming face on all promotional material for the project
Job done, bosh
I work with Swedes.
They are pretty fucking pedantic and in no obvious hurry to do anything.
Contributes to the bare minimum? We may not contribute to both sides like you Luigi, but whatever side we’re on actually gets something worth having
Should’ve been “claims they could get better pay elsewhere, storms out, becomes a hobo”
Us only
The perfect team is a Hans with Jan + Another but polish Jan. Hans plans, Jan to make sense of the over complicated plan and Polish Jan for the labor. Job will be done 2 weeks before deadline and everyone drinks in the office when no one watches.
Having worked with all of these before except Jan and Luigi, I’ll easily take Hans, Sven and Pedro.
Being the supervisor i am… Pedro, Jan and a frog.
The frog will say they should be leader, I’ll let the frog lead and climb into bed with Pedro increasing his and my response times.
The frog and Jan will do most of the work and when it’s almost all done, I’ll drag Pedro out of bed we will do the finishing touches and I’ll claim I was the best leader of all times.
Barry is one of the least likely to drink on the job from all those countries.
I can’t work out why you bothered to include us in that little game of yours.
You might as well have listed us as “will kill your mum, or your pet if said mum is dead”.
It’s not gaslighting if it’s true.
I’m outsourcing to china
Pierre, Luigi and ummm Pedro
Unhinged yet fun jokes? Barry, you’re hired, no questions asked!
Then I’ll hire Sven, in case I miss some jokes from Barry he will tell me. Bonus: he works.
We need someone pedantic to make sure we’re doing our job properly, so Hans, welcome onboard.
– hire Pierre
– hire Jan
-Wait for them to tear themselves to pieces while taking free coffee break with luigi
-if thing go bad blame it on Pierre and Jan
Pierre, Hans, Jan. The deadly cocktail. No way shit ever gets done, we’d beaker about who’s right and how we should proceed to no ends.
If i want shit to get done, then Pierre, Pedro (works the longest hours in the EU as opposed to Hans who works the shortest) and Niko (works on Saturday nowadays i’ve heard lmao). At least we won’t argue on how things get done.
I’ll take a hans, a pierre and a luigi
Barry, Hans and Jan, the best combination for efficiency and banter
Don’t be delusional guys, you also do remote work in pajamas. 😂
Hans, Jan and Barry (I need a break from the other two from time to time)
Jan, Pierre and Sven is nightmare material
Realistically, we could appoint 5 and make Niko, Pedro and Luigi split 1 pay. They won’t know the difference.
Pierre, Hans and Jan, so while Pierre and Jan try to convince the other that their way is the best, and Hans tries to convince them that the current procedures are the best, I will happily go on coffee break and savor my espresso.
But don’t you worry, I will sporadically come back to support Pierre, then suddenly Hans, then suddenly again Jan.
The Spanish stereotype is kind of false, it’s true for people who don’t have a job (which are many). But those who work, work really hard, especially in the private sphere. At least this is my experience. I’ve worked in London, Budapest and Spain and out of of all of these Spanish were the hardest workers with longest hours.
I’ll take Jan, Sven and Hans of course.
Then I will tell Hans to stfu and just do his work efficiently, aiming for 80% quality.
I’ll serve Sven some coffee on his desk so he can binge it while working.
For Jan, I’ll tell not to say a word of dutch and everything will be fine.
Sven would get me fired in 5 minutes and Pierre might push for my overthrow. Niko no and I would get jealous of Pedro.
1. jan
2. Luigi
3. Hans
2 Hans and another Jan.
Guys be strategic about this, would it be nice to work with Hans and Jan and let them do all the work, sure, but this isn’t school, if you’re in an office with Hans and Jan guess who is getting fired at the next round of cuts.
I’d rather take Nico, us, pedro or even Pierre, because at that point I just have to be slightly more productive/less insufferable than them
Hans, Jan and Luigi, easy choices.
Hans, Sven and Barry.
Anytime Barry tells a non PC joke and Sven goes to HR because of it, he gets his “bare minimum” raised until he has to do the most work. Hans and Sven do their Job Just fine and Hans also knows what Barry has got to do and will help him to motivate.
In the end Barry will be the hardest worker indeed and earn all the credit he tried to steal. But as this was some condition for Barry not to get fired for his behaviour it won’t get him anywhere 😂
Hear me out. If Jan believes he’s right. And he makes you believe he’s right.
Doesn’t that mean that Jan’s just right
I take Niko and Luigi with me.
You’re not ready for the beautiful, overpriced, caffeine-induced, avant-garde shit we’ll propose.
You’re not ready.
While Sven gets the job done, I take a goog siesta and then go to eat with my friend Lugi 👍🏻
If it’s important, Hans, Sven and Jan
If it’s not, Hans, Barry and Niko, just to make Hans go crazy
I am Pierre. I pick Hans to ensure guidelines are respected, then I pick Luigi to mitigate Hans’ pedantic attitude, and to finish I pick Jan because his efficiency will mitigate Luigi’s sloppy tendencies.
All in all, I believe it’s a well balanced work group!
I’ll hire Hans and Jan to do the job, and Barry to hang out with in the meantime.
I legit had a friend who worked remote in coding, and he would wake up, connect, put a weight on the space tab so it would monitor like he was typing, and go back to bed for at least another hour.
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