‘I confronted the Southport killer – but had to fight for trauma therapy’

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1. Every morning that Alan Crowley pulls back his bedroom curtain, he relives the most traumatic day of his life.

   Alan’s home lies directly opposite the Hart Space Dance studio where six months ago, Axel Rudakubana launched his murderous knife attack on children at a Taylor Swift dance workshop that saw three young girls brutally killed.

   Today, passers-by would notice little sign of the horrific event that unfolded on this quiet Southport residential street. The only clues are a handful of pink ribbons still tied to lamp posts in honour of those dead and injured in the attack.

   But Alan sees it differently. While the 41-year-old knows many suffered an ordeal far worse than his and are still struggling to cope with what happened, he remains haunted by what he witnessed that day.

   Alan sees a little girl wearing an oxygen mask who had been badly stabbed on the floor at the end of his drive. The street dotted with blood. The parents desperately trying to kiss their children better as they waited for the emergency services to arrive. And what he himself saw when he rushed into the dance studio and saw Rudakubana crouched over a young girl.

   Life was already difficult for Alan. He lost his father to suicide during lockdown and debilitating nerve damage meant he had to give up his job at the local warehouse.

   He had been battling alcoholism and rising debt but on the hot summer morning of 29 July, Alan had a rare moment of feeling hopeful as he walked in the sunshine. He promised himself he would make a start on some jobs to pull himself out of his depression.

   Alan was returning home from The Bridge Cafe at the top of the road when he realised something was wrong.

   “You could feel the air drop. The atmosphere just changed. As I’m walking I can feel my sixth sense kicking into gear telling me to pay attention,” he recalls.

   “I started to see silhouettes but there were shapes on the floor and it wasn’t making sense. Then I start hearing screams and cries.”

   Alan normally has to walk with a stick but adrenaline kicked in and he moved quickly towards the crowd.

   “He’s in there stabbing everyone,” a woman on the road told Alan. Some children were being shepherded into a neighbour’s home while others lay on the floor gravely injured.

2. I mean the guy is obviously a hero. But. He didn’t actuslly confront the southport killer did he? He was going to but didn’t have chance?

3. I’m a trauma therapist. I trained for seven *years* to do my job. The idea that an untrained person advised someone that feelings related to trauma would ‘pass in 30 days’ made me gasp out loud.

4. Therapy is still so taboo in the UK compared to other developed countries like Canada etc.

5. The UK is behind on trauma.

6. Probably a few months away from having sickness benefits cut and being forced to work in B and M bargains as an apprentice or something.

7. And meanwhile all the money in the world to house and feed that monsters family.

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