Before anyone start to complain about the couplings, they were done randomnly, so don’t take it on me.
Gotta be honest but they’re only two real viable teams here. Team Hans and Team Barry. Sorry Pierre but you’re not going to be able to carry the rest of your team. The same pretty much goes for the rest.
Man, Yellow is really going to destroy one specific emerald green knight and then call it a day.
>According to legend, the flag was invented by Duke Leopold V of Austria as a consequence of his fighting during the [Siege of Acre](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siege_of_Acre_(1189%E2%80%931191)). **After a fierce battle, his white** [**surcoat**](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surcoat) **was completely drenched in blood. When he removed his belt, the cloth beneath remained unstained, revealing the combination of red-white-red.** So taken was he by this singular sight that he adopted the colours and scheme as his banner. The incident was documented as early as 1260.
… Sire, i rest my case.
Is Barry allowed to have a few pints before battle? If yes, then he could solo the tournament.
A winner will definitely be Italy. But it is not yet clear which team Italy will end up with
You paired Scotland and England together?? It’s over.
Blue: team douchebag.
Yellow: team migration.
Green: team “have we met before?”
Brown: team dont mention the war.
Purple: team things were better before the Romans.
Red: team frozen pizza.
Before we start, Jan, we have no money, so dont bother sending us a Tikkie for every time you deal one blow
Is Finland allowed to wear Mongolic set?
In that case we can be specialized in 3 different combat styles
You people don’t understand how hard a Scottish man’s head is they would go through any ‘armour’ like using a sledgehammer on a walnut
Yellows, not even going to be remotely close.
One way or the other we win
I don’t know who wins but I know the Green team loses first by some margin.
Team Blue: unable to talk to each other or humans in general; Team Yellow: Scotland attacks England as soon as they get any weapons but hits Sweden; Team Green: shows up drunk; Team Brown: waits for Spain (they will be late)(cant start without a full team (would be against the rules)); Team Purple: Talking about their love for sheep and sheep cheese instead of fighting; Team Red: Finland and Norway run away from Italy (someone within 10m of them spoke more than three words)
This is absurdly unbalanced, Germany/Spain/Switzerland stomps if we’re consider late middle ages (as hinted by the pictures).
Top tier gear manufacturing was in Italy and Spain, and they have the latter.
Top tier militaries and mercenaries were French, English (barely if we exclude commoners, which wouldn’t be in armour anyway), German, and Swiss, and they have 2 of those.
England and French are paired with less relevant allies. I have to give this to Germany.
Angus will immediately claim independence from Barry.
Pedro will go for a siesta, while Urs stays neutral.
Jan accidentally steps on Joao crushing him.
Pierre goes for a cigarette, with Ioannis just looking to fight a Turk.
Antti is keeping a social distance of at least three meters rendering him ineffective, leaving Gianluca switching sides.
That leaves Conor, Marc and Hans as the only full team, winning the bout. As always AEIOU.
What do we do with a Joao half our size? Throw him at Pierre?
You want to know who was serious about getting stuff done in the middle ages? Post some castles. Pierre did fine, but it’s team Barry, assuming they manage to avoid internecine conflict
This is already unfair as we all know on this sub that Belgium doesn’t exist! So our team is a man down.
But we will adapt for if there’s one thing we were good at back then it was fighting, always outnumbered but still here.
This is 100% between us & germany, spain ,switzerland.
If we quickly overrun Wales, isolate Ireland then isolate & take Norway. We leave the Finn’s well alone & help where needed to prolong the fighting on the continent…ideally with our main competition taken out by others.
We should be able to sweep up the remnants easy enough.
& If it all goes wrong….it was all the English & we were coerced.
I feel like we’ll colonize half the world and then get it taken from us by Angus, Barry and Björn.
Unless we can keep Angus and Barry fighting and Björn is the one buying the fleet…
Björn, we have a beautiful ship to sell you, worthy of a royal with a lot of gold!
Come Hans, this time its with us, so you could actually win (as long as there are no firearms involved)
Wtf is my team. First we are only a two men team. And both of us are neutral and if I get paired through a wonder with one of the extremists they will be utterly confused what do do with a fucking axe instead of an exploding car.
Our team. We will be using colhonas, our official master sword that not even katana could compare to.
Norwegian money buys unlimited alcohol in Italy for very cheap which we give to the Finn that in a drunken state wins the tournament for us, I’m willing to bet money on the fact Perkele doesn’t even need a sword, just a ragged knife.
We are the guaranteed best per capita
You made up one of the probably most autistic tournaments possible and put two of the most autistic nations on earth in the same team. Spain takes the trophy whilst our Uber autistic teammates keep fighting because hyperfocus.
I’m sorry but the Scot’s win by themselves,have you fucking seen them up there you guys are fucked
Bro we got this. Hans and Pedro together could be feisty as well, but per capita we’re amazing.
Greece and France in the same team
Portugal dashes for the wine bottle, Denmark dressed up as a Viking spend the first 10 Minutes yelling “I AM NOT SWEDISH!” The Netherlands brought a windmill as weapon which turned out to be wildly inpractical.
Scotland dressed in a Kilt charged the dutch windmill yelling “FREEEEEEDOM!” however he tripped over his ridiculously oversized sword and got knocked out by one of the wings of the windmill. Sweden in the meanwhile starts to assemble his Ikea Trebuchet while England realized it’s tea time and began making himself a cup of tea while complaining about the weather.
Austria started by composing the background music for the battle being entirely useless otherwise. Ireland came with a shillelagh in one hand and a guiness beer in the other, challenging Denmark to a drinking contest. Belgium uses a waffle iron as shield and a chocolate bar as a weapon, however the chocolate bar immediately starts to melt and Belgium switches to plan B and placed himself strategically on the ground as a roadbump.
Germany just walks over Belgium and tries to organize his team into an effective battle force. However Spain confuses Norway with a bull due to the horned helmet and starts to bullfight Norway. Switzerland decides to be neutral in the middle of the battle.
Wales comes in a Dragon costume made of wool which catches fire almost immediately. Greece starts charging drunk Portugal however they end up making out with each other. France immediately charges England and beats the tea sipping bastard down with a baguette and a cheese wheel.
Norway bullfighting Spain gets pierced by many spears. Italys strategy is to impress everyone with his pasta while Finland just randomly gets naked.
10 Minutes into the Battle Portugal ist wasted, Greece gets disqualified for fondling passed out Portugal, Denmark and Ireland both are passed out drunk under the IKEA Trebuchet. Scotland lies defeated under the windmill, and England was killed by a french cheese wheel to the face. Belgiums roadbump turned out to be ineffective and he died from being trampled. Wales burned to death, and Norway was matatored by Spain.
Swedens IKEA Trebuchet turns out to be extemely effective, with one precise shot he takes down the dutch windmill. Switzerland being neutral get’s hit by the debris and decides to join into the fight with a giant swiss army knife. However he struggles with opening it. Austria still busy with composing the backgorund music for the battle and seing both his team mates defeated decides to join Germany who is still desperately trying to organize his forces.
France emerges victorious from England tea table and immediately charges Italy for a final showdown of the food wariors. Italian Pasta prooves ineffective against Frances hard cheese and 2 days old Baguette, so Italy to ends up being clubbed to death by the superior bread and cheese of France.
Germany finally manages to get his team into a combat formation. However just when Switzerland managed to open his comically large swiss army knife he get’s hit by the IKEA Trebuchet. Spain trys to avenge his teammate by charging Sweden however in the moment of Defeat Sweden calls out Allahu Ackbar and blows himself up, destroying his IKEA Trebuchet and killing Spain.
In the final showdown Germany and Austria stand against the Netherlands, France and Finland. They try to use their numbers advantage by always attacking one enemy together. However France and the Netherlands form an alliance of convinience to oppose Germany and Austria and a bloody battle ensues. In the Meanwhile Finland start taking an Ice bath..
Finally Germany emerges victorious against France and the Netherlands killing them both with his huge Bratwurst. However while Germany apporaches Finland Finlands starts cooking himself in Sauna. Germany wants to enter the Sauna when Finland started to whip himself with a birch branch only to jump into ice water again. The message was clear, do not mess with this motherfucker. Germany surrendered and Finland emerges victorious from the battle royale.
34 comments
Before anyone start to complain about the couplings, they were done randomnly, so don’t take it on me.
Gotta be honest but they’re only two real viable teams here. Team Hans and Team Barry. Sorry Pierre but you’re not going to be able to carry the rest of your team. The same pretty much goes for the rest.
Man, Yellow is really going to destroy one specific emerald green knight and then call it a day.
>According to legend, the flag was invented by Duke Leopold V of Austria as a consequence of his fighting during the [Siege of Acre](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siege_of_Acre_(1189%E2%80%931191)). **After a fierce battle, his white** [**surcoat**](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surcoat) **was completely drenched in blood. When he removed his belt, the cloth beneath remained unstained, revealing the combination of red-white-red.** So taken was he by this singular sight that he adopted the colours and scheme as his banner. The incident was documented as early as 1260.
… Sire, i rest my case.
Is Barry allowed to have a few pints before battle? If yes, then he could solo the tournament.
A winner will definitely be Italy. But it is not yet clear which team Italy will end up with
You paired Scotland and England together?? It’s over.
Blue: team douchebag.
Yellow: team migration.
Green: team “have we met before?”
Brown: team dont mention the war.
Purple: team things were better before the Romans.
Red: team frozen pizza.
Before we start, Jan, we have no money, so dont bother sending us a Tikkie for every time you deal one blow
Is Finland allowed to wear Mongolic set?
In that case we can be specialized in 3 different combat styles
You people don’t understand how hard a Scottish man’s head is they would go through any ‘armour’ like using a sledgehammer on a walnut
Yellows, not even going to be remotely close.
One way or the other we win
I don’t know who wins but I know the Green team loses first by some margin.
Team Blue: unable to talk to each other or humans in general; Team Yellow: Scotland attacks England as soon as they get any weapons but hits Sweden; Team Green: shows up drunk; Team Brown: waits for Spain (they will be late)(cant start without a full team (would be against the rules)); Team Purple: Talking about their love for sheep and sheep cheese instead of fighting; Team Red: Finland and Norway run away from Italy (someone within 10m of them spoke more than three words)
https://preview.redd.it/bh54z843qzge1.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=301ea52938b45517b8a9d67222634bba4aed963d
Bring it on, bitches
Is the irishman in our team drunk?
This is absurdly unbalanced, Germany/Spain/Switzerland stomps if we’re consider late middle ages (as hinted by the pictures).
Top tier gear manufacturing was in Italy and Spain, and they have the latter.
Top tier militaries and mercenaries were French, English (barely if we exclude commoners, which wouldn’t be in armour anyway), German, and Swiss, and they have 2 of those.
England and French are paired with less relevant allies. I have to give this to Germany.
Angus will immediately claim independence from Barry.
Pedro will go for a siesta, while Urs stays neutral.
Jan accidentally steps on Joao crushing him.
Pierre goes for a cigarette, with Ioannis just looking to fight a Turk.
Antti is keeping a social distance of at least three meters rendering him ineffective, leaving Gianluca switching sides.
That leaves Conor, Marc and Hans as the only full team, winning the bout. As always AEIOU.
What do we do with a Joao half our size? Throw him at Pierre?
You want to know who was serious about getting stuff done in the middle ages? Post some castles. Pierre did fine, but it’s team Barry, assuming they manage to avoid internecine conflict
This is already unfair as we all know on this sub that Belgium doesn’t exist! So our team is a man down.
But we will adapt for if there’s one thing we were good at back then it was fighting, always outnumbered but still here.
This is 100% between us & germany, spain ,switzerland.
If we quickly overrun Wales, isolate Ireland then isolate & take Norway. We leave the Finn’s well alone & help where needed to prolong the fighting on the continent…ideally with our main competition taken out by others.
We should be able to sweep up the remnants easy enough.
& If it all goes wrong….it was all the English & we were coerced.
I feel like we’ll colonize half the world and then get it taken from us by Angus, Barry and Björn.
Unless we can keep Angus and Barry fighting and Björn is the one buying the fleet…
Björn, we have a beautiful ship to sell you, worthy of a royal with a lot of gold!
Come Hans, this time its with us, so you could actually win (as long as there are no firearms involved)
https://preview.redd.it/eq1cxoqruzge1.png?width=1008&format=png&auto=webp&s=8cfcf94d976e661525c3f0ffbce51f20b0d70950
Wtf is my team. First we are only a two men team. And both of us are neutral and if I get paired through a wonder with one of the extremists they will be utterly confused what do do with a fucking axe instead of an exploding car.
Our team. We will be using colhonas, our official master sword that not even katana could compare to.
Norwegian money buys unlimited alcohol in Italy for very cheap which we give to the Finn that in a drunken state wins the tournament for us, I’m willing to bet money on the fact Perkele doesn’t even need a sword, just a ragged knife.
We are the guaranteed best per capita
You made up one of the probably most autistic tournaments possible and put two of the most autistic nations on earth in the same team. Spain takes the trophy whilst our Uber autistic teammates keep fighting because hyperfocus.
I’m sorry but the Scot’s win by themselves,have you fucking seen them up there you guys are fucked
Bro we got this. Hans and Pedro together could be feisty as well, but per capita we’re amazing.
Greece and France in the same team
Portugal dashes for the wine bottle, Denmark dressed up as a Viking spend the first 10 Minutes yelling “I AM NOT SWEDISH!” The Netherlands brought a windmill as weapon which turned out to be wildly inpractical.
Scotland dressed in a Kilt charged the dutch windmill yelling “FREEEEEEDOM!” however he tripped over his ridiculously oversized sword and got knocked out by one of the wings of the windmill. Sweden in the meanwhile starts to assemble his Ikea Trebuchet while England realized it’s tea time and began making himself a cup of tea while complaining about the weather.
Austria started by composing the background music for the battle being entirely useless otherwise. Ireland came with a shillelagh in one hand and a guiness beer in the other, challenging Denmark to a drinking contest. Belgium uses a waffle iron as shield and a chocolate bar as a weapon, however the chocolate bar immediately starts to melt and Belgium switches to plan B and placed himself strategically on the ground as a roadbump.
Germany just walks over Belgium and tries to organize his team into an effective battle force. However Spain confuses Norway with a bull due to the horned helmet and starts to bullfight Norway. Switzerland decides to be neutral in the middle of the battle.
Wales comes in a Dragon costume made of wool which catches fire almost immediately. Greece starts charging drunk Portugal however they end up making out with each other. France immediately charges England and beats the tea sipping bastard down with a baguette and a cheese wheel.
Norway bullfighting Spain gets pierced by many spears. Italys strategy is to impress everyone with his pasta while Finland just randomly gets naked.
10 Minutes into the Battle Portugal ist wasted, Greece gets disqualified for fondling passed out Portugal, Denmark and Ireland both are passed out drunk under the IKEA Trebuchet. Scotland lies defeated under the windmill, and England was killed by a french cheese wheel to the face. Belgiums roadbump turned out to be ineffective and he died from being trampled. Wales burned to death, and Norway was matatored by Spain.
Swedens IKEA Trebuchet turns out to be extemely effective, with one precise shot he takes down the dutch windmill. Switzerland being neutral get’s hit by the debris and decides to join into the fight with a giant swiss army knife. However he struggles with opening it. Austria still busy with composing the backgorund music for the battle and seing both his team mates defeated decides to join Germany who is still desperately trying to organize his forces.
France emerges victorious from England tea table and immediately charges Italy for a final showdown of the food wariors. Italian Pasta prooves ineffective against Frances hard cheese and 2 days old Baguette, so Italy to ends up being clubbed to death by the superior bread and cheese of France.
Germany finally manages to get his team into a combat formation. However just when Switzerland managed to open his comically large swiss army knife he get’s hit by the IKEA Trebuchet. Spain trys to avenge his teammate by charging Sweden however in the moment of Defeat Sweden calls out Allahu Ackbar and blows himself up, destroying his IKEA Trebuchet and killing Spain.
In the final showdown Germany and Austria stand against the Netherlands, France and Finland. They try to use their numbers advantage by always attacking one enemy together. However France and the Netherlands form an alliance of convinience to oppose Germany and Austria and a bloody battle ensues. In the Meanwhile Finland start taking an Ice bath..
Finally Germany emerges victorious against France and the Netherlands killing them both with his huge Bratwurst. However while Germany apporaches Finland Finlands starts cooking himself in Sauna. Germany wants to enter the Sauna when Finland started to whip himself with a birch branch only to jump into ice water again. The message was clear, do not mess with this motherfucker. Germany surrendered and Finland emerges victorious from the battle royale.
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