Alright, I’m Psychic Steve. Free readings for tonight only. Lost your keys? Need relationship advice? Debating new bathroom tiles? I’ll sort you right out.

31 comments

1. Ok, here’s a question for all you mind readers out there.

   ..

2. Will I retire Steve this year after 20 years in the Police?

3. Where’s me washboard?

4. Go on then- what is my purpose and how do I gain satisfaction in life? Good luck with that.

5. This thread is going to be locked due to unforeseen circumstances

6. I don’t want to go to work tomorrow, what is your advice?

7. Squirrel or rabbit?

8. Will my birthday go well tomorrow?

9. What is my dog thinking when he’s looking straight at me and licking his butt hole. It can get pretty intense at times

10. Steve.

    Which do i prefer, Daddy or Chips?

11. Have I drunk everything from the fridge or do I still have a can left? I can’t remember and I don’t want to get off the sofa and go to the kitchen if there’s none left

12. how many trophies will Spurs win this season?

13. I’ve been offered the opportunity to move to a country I’ve been to before, but this would be a permanent move. I’ve got a month to make the decision and then 3 months to relocate. No strong ties left to this country and so I’m really looking at it.

    How will it go?

14. I have four £5 scratch cards waiting to be scratched. The top prize is £1million.

    What, if anything, will I win? I will scratch them and update following your prediction.

15. How come you broke up with AbracaDEBRA?

    Are you alright Steve?

16. Steve does your phychic powers or perhaps a spirit friend know the answer of life, the universe and everything?

17. Steve, will I get laid anytime soon?

18. Should I run off in to the sunset with an unsuitable partner or dump him and search for someone else?

19. If was a hobnob what would I be?

20. Alright psychic Steve how’s yer brother Psycho Paaaaaaaaul? Aven’t seen ‘im fer a while.

21. Steve, with all things considered and the facts of the matter in mind, should I do it or not?

22. I’m high. What should I snack on?

23. Tuesdays Euromillions numbers please?

24. What f*cker stole my spoons?

25. Dear Steve,

    My dad is 50 but his new girlfriend is 23. When I said he’s too old for her he called me a cock blocker. What can I do.

    Yours sincerely

    Henry 27. Northants.

26. How many fingers am I holding up?

27. Steve fella when and who will I find love with? Is it something to do with the co operative supermarket? I’ve got a feeling it’s involved.

28. Will I be able to escape going to a James blunt concert this weekend. 🤔

29. I work for an American company. Will I get the sack if I offer to recolonise them on behalf of King and country?

30. Oh Steve, please use your great power to put my mind at ease. On the way to work one day last week, I accidentally squished a snail. I knew what I’d done when I heard the unmistakable crunching noise. It was dark at that time of the morning, and I didn’t see the unfortunate gastropod.
    Now it’s in Snail Heaven, has it forgiven me for my carelessness?

31. How does my dog know how many poo bags I’ve got in my pocket and manages to take one extra shit that I can’t pick up every time I’m running low on poo bags?

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