Teen accused of sex act with rocking horse and tree branch banned from parks

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/teen-accused-sex-act-rocking-34658232

by CaseyEffingRyback

28 comments

  1. Rocking horse **and** a tree branch?

    One or the other I could forgive,
    but both together…

  2. Okay so tree branch up the arse, rocking horse flattening the nob?

  3. A threesome is a threesome. Should he be shamed for diy.

  4. When your country’s so financially dysfunctional even the perverts have to resort to fucking tree branches.

  5. THIS is the kind of hard-hitting news I come to Reddit for.

  7. I was initially under the impression that he was somehow shagging the rocking horse but apparently the rocking horse was shagging him as he ‘inserted parts of it inside of him.’

    Also if you need a good laugh pop his name in Facebook and look at the comments on this story when it was shared to a Hartlepool community group. A woman (presumably his mam) is going absolutely mental at anyone making jokes about it.

  8. Sounds like he might have some issues. I hope they get him stable.

  9. Uhhh… I’ll just skip on the details for this one

  10. I’m not sure if he shagged the horse or the horse shagged him, it’s all swings and roundabouts really.

  11. Frequently on this sub, people like to attribute criminality to mental illness. This is one of those times where I actually genuinely wouldn’t be surprised if the answer actually is mental illness.

    Disinhibited, hypersexual behaviour – especially high-risk behaviour – is a classic symptom of bipolar hypomania and mania and the accused is in the right sort of age bracket for first onset of hypomania.

  12. Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase “having a woody”.

  13. maybe he was just checking for shit? Rocking horse shit is rare you know.

  14. Will he get a new nickname out of this I wonder?

    Woody?

    Rocky?

    Branchy?

  15. He has the brains of a rocking horse.

    He’s already had the rest.

  16. And I thought it was Rocking Horse sh1t that I found !!!!!

  17. I must have become dyslexic overnight because surely I’m not reading that right.

  18. who hasn’t see a particularly curvy piece of wood?

    nobody?

  19. Whenever I see articles like this I think of people’s future descendants looking up their family history and stumbling upon this. How do you even process it?

  20. >>The charge reads: “You, in a public place committed an act outraging public decency by behaving in an indecent manner, namely inserting parts of a ‘rocking horse’ inside yourself whilst masturbating, then pulled a branch off a tree and penetrated yourself.”

    hahaha wtf?!

  21. This is why the current cohort of teens is drifting to the far right: they try to show initiative and they end up getting “cancelled”.

  22. He better stop horsing around or he’ll end up in prison.

  23. I told you only bees pollinate now get your dick outa that tree and give your little brother back his toy

  24. Tabloids are only sayin accused yes the branch was from home but until we get a full statement from the horse we can only go on hear say.

  25. Him and the horse have been seeing each other for some time. Sneaking around his mums house in some sick splintery affair the horse had enough and demanded spontaneity. So he took him to park and rammed it in his arse 😂 enjoy ur evening im here all week

  27. > The charge reads: “You, in a public place committed an act outraging public decency by behaving in an indecent manner, namely inserting parts of a ‘rocking horse’ inside yourself whilst masturbating, then pulled a branch off a tree and penetrated yourself.”

    I have no words.

  28. The bark was better/worse than/broadly equivalent to the bite

Comments are closed.