Been to B&Q for some updated ‘touching cloth’ euphemisms

by alancake

18 comments
  1. What kind of fucking biscuits are they eating?

  2. Crumbling cork is definitely a touching cloth euphemism – great spot

  3. Who gets the job at naming these? I can do it too.

    Bending Sweetly

    Quizzical Nod

    Peppered Ham

    Horrendous Jet-lag

    Late Arrival

    Metal Cup

    See?

  4. Whenever we go to B&Q I have every intention of being an adult and looking at the colour range properly, within 2 minutes I have left my wife to pick out the colours while I try and make rude childish sentences with the names.

  5. Absolutely lost it at Anchors Aweigh. Not going to be able to dump again without saying that. Work will be fun tomorrow.

  6. We got a sample of Gentle Nudge for our bedroom, but in the end it lost out to Tea Soaked Biscuit.

  7. I’ve just painted my bathroom in a lovely shade of turtle’s head.

  8. I’ve got a… ‘Peach Parfait’/ ‘Bonfire Glow’/ ‘Stratford on Avon’ … going on down there. Quite a lot of their colour names work!

  9. **The Brown Bunny** is a *very* bad movie notable only for what Vincent Gallo convinced Chloe Sevigny to do on camera…

  10. Isn’t Brown Bunny the movie where Chloe Sevigney gives Vincent Gallo a bj?

  11. Semi-related, “A Touch of Cloth” is a great bit of silly TV.

  12. I always thought it was “Anchors away”
    Lern somethink knew every day.

  13. Get more and you can play a version of Disturbed friends.

    *It started with a **Gentle Nudge**, then I went **Anchors Aweigh** on her **Brown Bunny** and covered it in **Biscuit Crumbs**. Now I have a **Crumbling Cork***

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