Being a liberal, single woman in a post-Trump election world is a lot. It’s not enough that modern dating is already a minefield—voyeuristic apps, awkward hand-holding (if we even get there), and the eternal “Who Venmos who first?” debate. Now, on top of all that, I also have to wonder if the person across from me would vote in favor of my basic human rights. And the worst part? It’s not always obvious.
Case in point: Love Is Blind Season 8, where two couples broke up at the altar over politics—specifically, Black Lives Matter and abortion rights. Watching it unfold, I couldn’t stop thinking about my own dating dealbreakers. And I would have made the exact same decision—though I probably would have made it on date one.
Courtesy Netflix
Let’s start with Sara Carton and Ben Mezzenga. Their pod dates? Smooth. Flirty. Full of laughter (a must for first-date chemistry). For a moment, I even thought they had a shot to go all the way. But Love Is Blind isn’t just about vibing in the pods—it’s about finding a life partner. The whole premise is that love can grow through conversation alone, without looks playing a factor. Sara took this seriously. She asked meaningful questions, shared her beliefs, and showed genuine curiosity about her future fiancé’s values. Then she brought up politics in Episode 4, noting that she couldn’t be with anyone who didn’t believe in LGBTQIA+ rights, especially since her sister is gay.
Ben’s response? He’s totally comfortable around “that community” of people. He even has a gay friend! And what about Black Lives Matter and political affiliations? He sat out the 2020 election and said, “I’m not one way or another. I just kind of keep out of it.”
Excuse me? I could not come up with a better example of white male privilege if I tried. Ben lives a life free of politics because he can. As long as he doesn’t participate one way or another, as a white man he can continue to enjoy his civil rights and prosper without confronting the truth of American life. He doesn’t have to be challenged on whether or not he actively supports a church that is anti-LGBT. If he doesn’t concern himself with Black Lives Matter, he doesn’t have to grapple with racism and police brutality. And, in peak white feminist fashion, Sara got engaged to him anyways. (Points for saying no at the altar, though. I support you.)
Unfortunately, this wasn’t the only time political apathy tanked a relationship this season. In Episode 12, Devin Buckley and Virginia Miller had an eerily similar issue—except this time, it wasn’t until after they got engaged that the cracks started to show. As a Black man, Devin implied that race didn’t factor into his voting decisions—though he also wouldn’t confirm if he even voted in national elections. Then, when the topic of abortion came up, he shrugged, “I kind of go back and forth.”
Courtesy Netflix
I wish I were surprised. But honestly? This is exactly where we are in 2025. And Devin doubled down on his indifference at the reunion, saying, “I can look past certain things. I think you can be in a relationship without agreeing on everything.”
Easy for you to say, your existence isn’t currently up for political debate.
As a biracial woman, I can’t ignore politics in dating. I can’t “agree to disagree” on my own rights. I can’t overlook someone’s indifference and pretend it doesn’t affect me when women are dying due to lack of abortion care And the truth is, for many marginalized people, politics isn’t just an abstract debate—it’s personal. It’s life or death. And as a longtime New York City singleton and dating app survivor, I understand why women can’t “look past” political issues in relationships. I have never swiped left harder than when I see “MAGA” (or even “Moderate”) in someone’s bio.
Right now, in this America, the government is actively trying to deport a green card holder for leading campus protests. Trans rights are being rolled back. Access to life-saving medical care (not to mention health insurance) is under attack. Sure, the two-party system is messy. And yes, I understand why some people get disillusioned with voting. But dating someone who is politically disengaged? That’s a hard no for me.
This isn’t a harmless difference of opinion. I could look past the fact that my partner thought La La Land deserved to beat Moonlight at the Oscars. I could even navigate minor ideological differences. But if you expect me to “look past” the fact that you don’t believe in my basic human rights?
Yeah. I wouldn’t marry you either.