I miss Polska so much

I miss Poland so much. In 2023, I studied in Poland as part of the Erasmus program. I had always dreamed of going abroad, and Poland was the first place where I made that dream come true. I traveled a long way all by myself. After a long journey, I finally arrived in Częstochowa. I was still so young back then. Everything felt different, and it took time for me to adapt. Even though I had accomplished one of my biggest dreams, I kept taking hesitant steps, feeling a little afraid. Beside everything i was also dealing with inner issues. I had a hard life before that and i never believe that i can came this far. It was the first place where i feel the true happiness. For the first time ever in my life i felt happy. It was amazing.

But slowly, I got used to the city. It became my favorite place. I built myself up step by step, learning every street, every corner. I spent most of my time alone, discovering who I truly was. That city became my home. Every day, I would leave my dorm and walk to the big park near M1. I wrote there. I got to know myself there. For the first time in my life, I called a place "home." For the first time, I felt like I truly belonged somewhere.

Then, I had to return. There have always been problems in my family, and the person I had become—grown, changed—couldn’t fit back into my old, suffocating life. I felt trapped. Ever since I came back, my only goal has been to apply for a master's degree at a university in Poland and return home. But I haven't saved enough money for that yet. I’m a freshly graduated software engineer going through the job search process, and it has been challenging. But in my mind, my home is always there, waiting for me.

Sometimes, I think about taking a short trip to ease this longing, but that would mean spending the money I’m saving for my master's. And then, there are visa issues too. Still, Poland will always have a special place in my heart. For the first time in my life, I had a place to call home. And I miss it so much. Leaving behind those dreamlike days and returning to my old life has been incredibly difficult.

I wasn’t born Poland. I didn’t grow up there. I don’t even speak Polish. But Poland is my home. My heart beats there. And I am longing for the day I return. I miss you so much, my home. Even the air and water felt different there. I miss everything, i miss the smell of the chill air at summer nights.

There was a specific place in Częstochowa that I used to go to every day—a particular bench where I sat and wrote. I want to share a photo of that place. Now, it feels like a distant memory, and that hurts. I just want to be there again as soon as possible. And i am thankful for this amazing experience. It changed me a way that i can not never imagine. Polska and especially Czestochowa has a special place in my heart and it is a big part of my story, who i am. I can not even describe how much i miss Poland. I just want to go back to my home.