I wrote Adolescence. I won’t give my son a smartphone till he’s 14

https://www.thetimes.com/culture/tv-radio/article/adolescence-writer-jack-thorne-netflix-series-29h5sccpp?utm_medium=Social&utm_source=reddit#Echobox=1742591548

35 comments

  1. If I had kids, I wouldn’t give them a smartphone until they’re off to college , and that’s only because they’ll probably need it for school , otherwise would just stick to an old school flip phone

  2. My wife’s niece and nephew, now 18, didn’t get smartphones until they turned 18. They are some of the most normal, well adjusted young people I know.

  3. My 12yo has a flip phone and it’s always…..somewhere? (She rarely uses it, but takes it when they go bike riding)

    Go ride bikes, go for walks, be the parents you wanted to have.

  4. We gave our daughter a flip phone when she started driving and working part time after school/weekends when she was 16. We told her if she wanted a smart phone, she’d have to save her money and buy it herself.

  5. I’m a high school teacher. My kids aren’t getting smartphones until they are able to drive.

  7. My friend told me she got her 10 yr old daughter a smartphone and I was like why…? 10 yr olds do not need smartphones!

    I applaud those waiting at least until their kids are in high school.

  8. I didn’t get one until I could drive. That feels like a good age to me.

  9. As the dad of a 3yr old daughter I couldn’t even fathom giving her unfettered access to the internet. The amount of horrible desensitizing things kids are blasted with on the daily honestly blows my mind.

  10. Lmao everyone commenting here sounds like their kids would fucking hate them. Imagine not letting your kid have a smart phone going into high school. What year do you all think it is?

  11. I didn’t get one until I was 21, but they also didn’t exist until then.

  13. I didn’t get a smartphone until I think I was 19? Was allowed a flip phone to use in case of emergencies before then in high school. Tbh it was already bad enough for me to have unfettered internet access at home, can’t imagine what kind of shit I’d have gotten myself into if I’d had it everywhere back then.

  14. I’m not bring any kids into this world. I’m terrified of the social difficulties this technology has brought, of the inexorable collapse of the environment, of the wealth inequalities, of the political weakening of human rights, of the dismantling of social safety nets, and of the negligence in preventing gun violence in schools. 😁

    But if I did go ahead, despite all these things, definitely no smart phone until at least 14, but probably more like 16.

  15. I worked in social media for 9 years. My child is not allowed to have any form of social media until she is 18. It’s a horribly damaging thing for young people.

  16. I plan on allowing a smart phone, but I’ll be setting it up with all the restrictions so they can’t access the web or download apps. Only to be used for calls/texting, maps and music.

  20. Teacher here: even if you don’t give them a phone, someone at school will let them borrow or use theirs. If even one kid in the community has access to a smart phone then they all do. And it’s best practice to assume it’s only a matter of time (even minutes) before they’re exposed to sexual content.

  21. OP, please read this.

    You can’t stop your kids from using devices, I suppose you *can* make it harder but at the end of the day, one of their friends will have a spare phone that she can use while at school/out. You’ll never know about it because you’ll never see it.

  22. I can’t believe they are adding this phone thing on to this show.

    It’s about a sociopath that has a phone. Not that a phone made him a sociopath.

    I was into this but this ridiculous campaign they are burying it in is making it lose its lustre. It’s bullshit PR and embarrassing.

  23. Do people magically forget, when they become parents, all the dentists’, doctors’ and teachers’ kids they went to school with whose parents were much stricter than others and who therefore tended to go a little wilder than everyone else whenever they had the chance?

    Censorship isn’t the way. Talking to them about what they will invariably encounter in one form or another (newsflash: the manosphere can be accessed from a laptop, too!) is more effective than trying to shield them from the fact of its existence throughout childhood. We teach 12-year-olds sex ed without expecting them to actually be having sex at that age. Why not speak to them about misogyny, consent, porn addiction and the ills of social media and attendant peer pressure and whatnot?

  24. This show hit so hard—especially the last 10 minutes, I was full-on sobbing. It was such a powerful and emotional look into the aftermath families face when someone they love commits something horrific. It didn’t excuse anything, but it captured the shock, heartbreak, and devastation in such a raw way. Absolutely stayed with me.

  25. Give them a phone whenever you see fit. But you have to teach them about the difference between the real world and these online worlds. Because after all they are Teenagers, living lives in our modern world. They will be exposed to stuff in one way or the other.

  26. I am an IT professional. Have been for almost 30 years.

    My youngest is 31.

    So 1999-2010. I logged their activity. This was before smartphones.

    You are their parent. It’s your job to protect them. And thankfully they didn’t take me to task for spying. I helped them understand nothing they do on the internet is private.

    Caught one kid sneaking out because his friends posted something on MySpace.

    It’s a lot harder today. But you are allowed to monitor your children. If you have a responsible kid you start to move away for the monitoring when they turn 15.

  27. After learning from the outset one siblings will have non internet 100% monitored phones. And no head phones on video games. Lessons learned

  28. I was 11/12 and watching HIMYM for the first time. I found it off a site. It’s sooo easy to access things nowadays and those things can be MUCH worse than an adult sitcom. I feel like it’s nearly impossible to restrict their entire internet access. So what can you do? (Genuinely asking)

  29. Smart phones are brain-suckers of anyone who uses them. Adults or kids. We could all use way less screen time.

  30. This convo got me thinking about an idea for maintaining communication among friends without phones. It won’t make this complex problem go away, but maybe it’ll foster a little more positivity among kids and teenagers.
    When I was in middle school, my friends and I would have stationery-making parties at each other’s houses. We would use laminated envelope templates to trace, cut out, fold, and tape/glue our own envelopes made from newspaper/magazines/wrapping paper. We’d make cards from construction paper and origami paper. Ribbons, sequins, and stickers were used as decorations. We took our handiwork home and used it to mail letters to one another.
    In my experience, the process of making, writing, and sending snail mail taught me about how much effort and joy goes in to making a friendship last. Hopefully it might do the same for your kids.

  31. They always say “but your kid will he the only one without, they will be left behind!” Not if we all put on our big boy/girl pants and act like parents and don’t give it to them?

  32. My nieces have all had phone and/or tablets since age 2. Neither could read at all until age 9, and the 13 year old can’t even add single digits. Parents blame it on ADHD. TikTok/YouTube reels 14 hours a day, but sure, they just inherently have ADHD. The only time they’re not watching videos is when they’re recording themselves for “their followers”.

  33. Couldn’t read the article as it required a subscription (who needs another one!?)

    The Adolescence is an incredible series.
    Very moving and probably the best acting I’ve ever seen.
    I hope everyone involved gets their proper recognition!

  35. If every parent took the stance that their child is not allowed a smart phone til they’re 14 or 15 then there wud be no envy on behalf of the child. The issue is it only takes 2 or 3 kids to have one and they all want them.

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