Fantastic news. It’s insane that the only person it is legal for you to hit is your own child.
Cue “I got smacked as a kid, and I turned out alright.”
No you didn’t, you turned out as someone who hits children.
I was smacked as a child. I was warned about it and then was put across her knee, had my underwear pulled down and then this huge slap! I couldn’t breathe, the pain was so bad. For her to go out of her way to cause the utmost pain to a child is disgusting.
Yes it should be illegal.
I bet you people will ignore it. Scotland banned smacking years ago, and I guarantee you smacking still occurrs and the police do absolutely nothing about it.
Seems like an ineffective way of actually reducing child abuse since no child is going to run off to the police and report an assault because their parent’s slapped them once, the law is mainly performative and more of a statement of what society considers unacceptable.
Just put the kid on half rations and no McDonald’s if they don’t get in line.
[deleted]
There is never a good excuse to hit a child. I’ve worked with referrals for children’s services and there are some absolute bellends out there making children’s lives a misery. In many cases, the child wonders why their dad/mum doesn’t love them.
There are some people here wondering why the state gets involved with parenting. Congratulations on being privileged enough to not having to know why this happens.
Huh, I didn’t know violence against children wasn’t illegal before now.
If you can’t reason with a child how will they understand the reason for hitting them?
Aww… I was *just* about to take my kids on holiday to Wales too! 🙁
(It’s a joke, my kids a long grown up and very happy)
I had a childminder who smacked me occasionally. I would just scream at them to do it harder. I would ask for another one to see how much I could take. Wanted to prove how tough I was, at about 2-3.
I don’t ever remember why I was smacked. I don’t know what behaviour was being stifled or why. It just told me that you could hit people if they were naughty.
A few years later I remember seeing a friend getting his mouth washed out with soap and water after his mum heard him swearing. Guess what, he still swears as an adult. And he didn’t stop swearing. So again… What is being achieved here?
I was smacked as a kid, I then didn’t trust my mother enough to tell her I was being sexually abused, these days I’m no contact with her.
People hit their kids because:
They were hit and/or they think that’s how you teach kids.
They are emotional and their kid annoyed them at the wrong time, and they learned that violence is an appropriate reaction.
They feel out of control and think violence will get their kid to do what they want. Because they’ve learned that it does.
​
​
Hitting your child works because it hurts, then your child fears being hit and fears you as the perpetrator of that violence.
If it reduces “unwanted” behaviour, this is why.
But it also teaches the child…
That the parent is to be feared.
That using violence is the way to get people to do what you want.
Often parents using violence in punishment when they are emotional, thus teaching the child that when someone is emotional they lash out violently at those around them.
​
Will all children latch onto these lessons to equal measure? No.
Not all kids who are hit will become violent or abusive adults, but many will.
Not all violent and abusive adults were hit as kids, but many were.
**There’s no need for any kids to be hit.**
​
The experiences we have as children will irreparably shape who we are as adults, you can’t iron this out later, you can’t undo it.
You can build on top of those foundations, but you can’t change them.
Even if you turned out “fine” after being hit as a kid you are more likely to experience:
Trouble forming and maintaining relationships.
Emotional difficulties.
Depression.
Low self-esteem.
A personality disorder.
Alcoholism.
Drug addiction.
And you are 4 times more likely to develop mental illness, including the likes of schizophrenia.
​
There are **more effective** ways to teach kids that don’t involve any fear or anger or violence.
They are more pleasant methods of teaching for the teacher (parent).
They will create a closer bond between parent and child, rather than a rift.
They don’t have the horrible unintended side effects.
And again, these methods are more effective.
​
What we REALLY need to do is get the information on how to use these better methods out to adults.
Explain how and why it works, and why it’s a better option.
And making hitting your child illegal is also an essential part of this.
This is a right pain in the arse. Every time I want to beat my kids I am going to have to drive to England. That car journey and services stop is really gonna give my kids PTSD.
[removed]
Good. Abusive parents won’t now be able to explain away assault by claiming they were disciplining their child. England and NÍ need to introduce this next.
Illegal but let me tell you, African parents based anywhere in the U.K DO NOT CARE, they’ll still do it to their kids and traumatise them.
Good. My mum leathering me as a kid didn’t teach me that I should behave, only that it’s acceptable to use violence against other to obtain what you want.
[deleted]
The sort of person that actually hits their child shouldn’t be having kids in the first place tbh.
Been a parent for 10 years now, never laid a finger on my children.
There’s this weird mentality where if you’re not pro smacking children you’re against all forms of discipline and your kids will run riot and be unruly. It’s nonsense, theres a middle ground between hitting your child and letting them get away with everything. There’s plenty of ways to get your child to understand the consequences of their behaviour without putting your hands on them.
Everyone who is pro smacking children seems to be in the ‘a little tap never hurt’ camp. Unfortunately there are parents out there who think ‘a little tap’ just isn’t enough and will smack harder and will get away with it (well hopefully not anymore).
I once heard a parent on the school playground tell their child to “stop that or you’ll get a smack”. It’s still seen as fine and normal by some parents.
I was abused as a child,sometimes feel the anger wanting to repeat itself when my kids wind me up but I then realise all it will do is just repeat itself and never stop and that I didn’t deserve it as a kid and they don’t and think to myself I can change this pattern now by never smacking them.
Unfortunately in most cases where a child has been abused then grows up to have kids of there own they then turn into the abuser…..I know people should be punished if they step over the line but for those that have been there needs to be a real government scheme to help people that where abused in childhood so that they can get the help and support to know it’s wrong before they do it if that makes sense
There’s an awful lot of “I would never hit my child, but….” comments here. There is literally no reason whatsoever that you should hit a child. Not to “teach a lesson”, not as a “last resort”. Hitting a child only serves to assuage the adults frustration and anger.
You always get people who say “I got smacked as a kid and turned out alright” It’s a lot easier to say than to contemplate that potentially you were physically abused as a child. I’d be willing to bet this is part of the reason why people struggle with this subject – people simply prefer to live in denial at times as sometimes the reality is too hard to process.
Welcome to the opening salvo of ‘starship troopers’.
Good. I was smacked as a child and it was a completely normal and accepted form of discipline. But when you think about it an adult physically hitting a child much smaller than them, enough to hurt or be scared them is so messed up. Especially when as soon as children start mixing and learning to share they’re taught not to hit/bite/pinch etc. but the same restraint is not expected of an adult who has lost their temper.
ITT: A lot of people who are apparently not smart enough to outwit a child so must resort to violence to prove a point.
But if I take the kids to England that’s ok, right?
I was smacked as a kid and now I have an annoying nervous flinch around others sometimes and it’s really embarrassing. So yeah don’t hit your kids, try this revolutionary tactic known as “speaking to them”
30 comments
Fantastic news. It’s insane that the only person it is legal for you to hit is your own child.
Cue “I got smacked as a kid, and I turned out alright.”
No you didn’t, you turned out as someone who hits children.
I was smacked as a child. I was warned about it and then was put across her knee, had my underwear pulled down and then this huge slap! I couldn’t breathe, the pain was so bad. For her to go out of her way to cause the utmost pain to a child is disgusting.
Yes it should be illegal.
I bet you people will ignore it. Scotland banned smacking years ago, and I guarantee you smacking still occurrs and the police do absolutely nothing about it.
Seems like an ineffective way of actually reducing child abuse since no child is going to run off to the police and report an assault because their parent’s slapped them once, the law is mainly performative and more of a statement of what society considers unacceptable.
Just put the kid on half rations and no McDonald’s if they don’t get in line.
[deleted]
There is never a good excuse to hit a child. I’ve worked with referrals for children’s services and there are some absolute bellends out there making children’s lives a misery. In many cases, the child wonders why their dad/mum doesn’t love them.
There are some people here wondering why the state gets involved with parenting. Congratulations on being privileged enough to not having to know why this happens.
Huh, I didn’t know violence against children wasn’t illegal before now.
If you can’t reason with a child how will they understand the reason for hitting them?
Aww… I was *just* about to take my kids on holiday to Wales too! 🙁
(It’s a joke, my kids a long grown up and very happy)
I had a childminder who smacked me occasionally. I would just scream at them to do it harder. I would ask for another one to see how much I could take. Wanted to prove how tough I was, at about 2-3.
I don’t ever remember why I was smacked. I don’t know what behaviour was being stifled or why. It just told me that you could hit people if they were naughty.
A few years later I remember seeing a friend getting his mouth washed out with soap and water after his mum heard him swearing. Guess what, he still swears as an adult. And he didn’t stop swearing. So again… What is being achieved here?
I was smacked as a kid, I then didn’t trust my mother enough to tell her I was being sexually abused, these days I’m no contact with her.
People hit their kids because:
They were hit and/or they think that’s how you teach kids.
They are emotional and their kid annoyed them at the wrong time, and they learned that violence is an appropriate reaction.
They feel out of control and think violence will get their kid to do what they want. Because they’ve learned that it does.
​
​
Hitting your child works because it hurts, then your child fears being hit and fears you as the perpetrator of that violence.
If it reduces “unwanted” behaviour, this is why.
But it also teaches the child…
That the parent is to be feared.
That using violence is the way to get people to do what you want.
Often parents using violence in punishment when they are emotional, thus teaching the child that when someone is emotional they lash out violently at those around them.
​
Will all children latch onto these lessons to equal measure? No.
Not all kids who are hit will become violent or abusive adults, but many will.
Not all violent and abusive adults were hit as kids, but many were.
**There’s no need for any kids to be hit.**
​
The experiences we have as children will irreparably shape who we are as adults, you can’t iron this out later, you can’t undo it.
You can build on top of those foundations, but you can’t change them.
Even if you turned out “fine” after being hit as a kid you are more likely to experience:
Trouble forming and maintaining relationships.
Emotional difficulties.
Depression.
Low self-esteem.
A personality disorder.
Alcoholism.
Drug addiction.
And you are 4 times more likely to develop mental illness, including the likes of schizophrenia.
​
There are **more effective** ways to teach kids that don’t involve any fear or anger or violence.
They are more pleasant methods of teaching for the teacher (parent).
They will create a closer bond between parent and child, rather than a rift.
They don’t have the horrible unintended side effects.
And again, these methods are more effective.
​
What we REALLY need to do is get the information on how to use these better methods out to adults.
Explain how and why it works, and why it’s a better option.
And making hitting your child illegal is also an essential part of this.
This is a right pain in the arse. Every time I want to beat my kids I am going to have to drive to England. That car journey and services stop is really gonna give my kids PTSD.
[removed]
Good. Abusive parents won’t now be able to explain away assault by claiming they were disciplining their child. England and NÍ need to introduce this next.
Illegal but let me tell you, African parents based anywhere in the U.K DO NOT CARE, they’ll still do it to their kids and traumatise them.
Good. My mum leathering me as a kid didn’t teach me that I should behave, only that it’s acceptable to use violence against other to obtain what you want.
[deleted]
The sort of person that actually hits their child shouldn’t be having kids in the first place tbh.
Been a parent for 10 years now, never laid a finger on my children.
There’s this weird mentality where if you’re not pro smacking children you’re against all forms of discipline and your kids will run riot and be unruly. It’s nonsense, theres a middle ground between hitting your child and letting them get away with everything. There’s plenty of ways to get your child to understand the consequences of their behaviour without putting your hands on them.
Everyone who is pro smacking children seems to be in the ‘a little tap never hurt’ camp. Unfortunately there are parents out there who think ‘a little tap’ just isn’t enough and will smack harder and will get away with it (well hopefully not anymore).
I once heard a parent on the school playground tell their child to “stop that or you’ll get a smack”. It’s still seen as fine and normal by some parents.
I was abused as a child,sometimes feel the anger wanting to repeat itself when my kids wind me up but I then realise all it will do is just repeat itself and never stop and that I didn’t deserve it as a kid and they don’t and think to myself I can change this pattern now by never smacking them.
Unfortunately in most cases where a child has been abused then grows up to have kids of there own they then turn into the abuser…..I know people should be punished if they step over the line but for those that have been there needs to be a real government scheme to help people that where abused in childhood so that they can get the help and support to know it’s wrong before they do it if that makes sense
There’s an awful lot of “I would never hit my child, but….” comments here. There is literally no reason whatsoever that you should hit a child. Not to “teach a lesson”, not as a “last resort”. Hitting a child only serves to assuage the adults frustration and anger.
You always get people who say “I got smacked as a kid and turned out alright” It’s a lot easier to say than to contemplate that potentially you were physically abused as a child. I’d be willing to bet this is part of the reason why people struggle with this subject – people simply prefer to live in denial at times as sometimes the reality is too hard to process.
Welcome to the opening salvo of ‘starship troopers’.
Good. I was smacked as a child and it was a completely normal and accepted form of discipline. But when you think about it an adult physically hitting a child much smaller than them, enough to hurt or be scared them is so messed up. Especially when as soon as children start mixing and learning to share they’re taught not to hit/bite/pinch etc. but the same restraint is not expected of an adult who has lost their temper.
ITT: A lot of people who are apparently not smart enough to outwit a child so must resort to violence to prove a point.
But if I take the kids to England that’s ok, right?
I was smacked as a kid and now I have an annoying nervous flinch around others sometimes and it’s really embarrassing. So yeah don’t hit your kids, try this revolutionary tactic known as “speaking to them”