Swiss brain rot champion

We need a Swiss champion to defend Switzerland’s honor in the current brain rot world.

Here he is: Pinnabuenzli von Muusano — forged in the glacial peaks of Gruyère, raised on fondue and fear, born with the head of a shark, the soul of a cow, and sneakers blessed by the spirit of Helvetica itself. A creature not bred, but manifested, summoned when the Matterhorn trembled and the Emmental cracked. He doesn’t moo. He doesn’t roar. He pinnas.