From my experience, it seems there was a time, not too long ago, when many of us appeared to share a common set of values. Honesty, decency, respect, and discipline were not just admirable ideals; they were expected. Certainly, no one was perfect, and people made mistakes, but there was still a sense that we were all striving to improve. That effort mattered. Even when no one was watching, people often attempted to do the right thing— because they believed others were doing the same.
This wasn’t about being perfect; it was about striving. That shared intention fostered a quiet kind of social glue, instilling a sense of trust, connection, and collective integrity.
Then, the Internet Shifted the Landscape
Things began to change with the rise of the internet, especially social media. Suddenly, we were no longer just seeing people’s polished, presentable sides. We were exposed to raw, honest, and sometimes messy behaviors.
In my view, what became popular online wasn’t necessarily admirable—it was often dramatic, extreme, or controversial. Meltdowns, feuds, and attention-grabbing antics seemed to increase visibility and influence. It appeared that the louder or more outrageous someone was, the more attention they received. It began to feel like values weren’t just overlooked; they were being sidelined entirely.
Where we once kept our poor judgment private, it is now often broadcast and sometimes celebrated. When something is celebrated, even if it is problematic, it can seem appealing. Perhaps not consciously, but the repetition of it has an effect.
What This Might Be Doing to Us—and Our Kids
Based on my observations, this shift hasn’t just changed individual behaviors; it has altered the tone of our broader culture. When we frequently witness people misbehaving and being rewarded, our standards can slip. It becomes more challenging to justify striving for honesty or restraint when those values aren’t appreciated.
The implications extend beyond adults. Children are growing up immersed in this environment. They observe what attracts attention and recognize what receives applause. If the prevailing message suggests that chaos or controversy equals success, it’s understandable that they might begin to believe it.
Children observe closely, and they imitate. If we don’t set an example, they may follow whatever is the loudest, not necessarily what is right.
Choosing a Different Path
It’s tempting to blame external forces like social platforms or influencers, but ultimately, we each have a choice. We can follow what’s popular or lead quietly by doing what we believe is right.
This isn’t always easy. Doing the right thing when no one else is doing it, especially when it goes unrecognized or unrewarded, takes effort. But that’s where integrity lives.
Even when it feels like no one is watching, someone likely is. This quiet consistency can have more impact than we realize. It may not make headlines, but it establishes an important standard, especially regarding our children.