Colin Farrell Shares Why He’s Placing His Son with Angelman Syndrome in Long-Term Care

https://people.com/colin-farrell-shares-why-placing-son-with-angelman-syndrome-in-long-term-care-11718492

43 comments

  2. I thought he already had a 24/7 home health care aid for his son? But perhaps that is also a lot for one young person who might also want to have his own family.

    He might be best off in a permanent therapeutic setting.

    Sometimes you need to read the writing on the wall. John Travolta’s son also had full time at home care and he still had a fatal home accident.

  3. Eh, it’s reality that they can’t likely care for him for the rest of his life. If they begin to transition him now he can still have a lot of support from his parents. I think this is what a lot of parents wish they could do for their disabled kids. Not all, of course. It’s also possible the environment they can afford will give the son a really enriching experience. It’s not like the kid will be dumped in your average state-run group home. 24/7 health aides isn’t always the answer because it can be socially limiting. 

  4. It is his and his family’s business and nobody else.

  5. If I had the resources, influence and money he has; I would have my son with me 24/7 and hire nurses, and other people to assist me and my family, I would never send my son away for long term anything, he’d be with me.

  6. I mean look at what happened with Gene Hackman who ended up by himself when something tragic happened to his caregiver. That would definitely be a nightmare scenario for any parent to think about.

  7. There is a Lovevery story about a little girl with her uncle who has angelman syndrome – he also lives in a group home. I believe it’s the owner of the company’s brother, because that is definitely her and her daughter in the book.

    There comes a time that you just aren’t equipped with having an extremely disabled adult child/sibling, especially with the physical disabilities. It doesn’t mean you don’t visit regularly, but there are programs and friends there that can keep them safer and more engaged in their life.

    I wish these programs were cheaper for everyone to access who needs them, but properly caring for (extremely disabled/mentally ill/elderly/children) is not easy and undervalued in modern society.

  8. It gets to a point where they cannot adequately provide the type of care he needs in the home. I feel for any family that has to deal with making this decision.

  9. This is none of my business, and unless you’re Colin Farrell, it’s none of yours either.

  10. Good for him, that must be a heartbreaking choice to make. I imagine he’d like some privacy about it.

  11. He’s right to do this now, with the son at 21. Otherwise it could be just like Gene Hackman, who died recently because his wife/ caregiver died.

    Also, his son will probably enjoy the social aspect of being around more people.

  12. As the mom of a disabled child, now adult, we placed him in a group home as a young teen. His behavior escalated and I and my family were burnt out. We live 20 minutes away, he gets to socialize and go out for events, movies, etc., and we can keep an eye on him and things at the house. He comes home every 3 weeks or so for a long weekend. It would have been cruel to either burden his siblings with his care and cruel to him to have to move him suddenly if my husband or I fell ill or died.

  13. My son is going to be in a group home after high school. I am nervous as hell, but know he will be better for it.

  14. What a tough decision to have to make…i hope everything works out well for them.

  15. This is where it sucks to be famous. He shouldn’t have to explain to anyone why he is doing something that involves his family. We know how judgmental the public is and I guess he would rather say something now instead of it being found out and people accuse him of being a terrible parent.

  16. He should not have to explain his actions to any of us.

  17. I could never judge anyone for this. I’m sure it was a difficult decision and one made with love and care.

  19. He requires specialized care and 24/7 supervision. This can take a huge toll on any family. He needs constant supervision for pica(ingestion of inedible substances) that can be detrimental to his health. I have worked in an Intensive Care Facility that provided care for individuals with developmental disabilities and can say that the decision to have your love one being taken care of by others is not an easy decision for most families with special needs children.

  20. I genuinely wish this kind of thing was more readily available to families of people with severe disabilities. If I ever see anybody try to shame choices like this, I just know they’ve never known someone who needed it. It can be so, so beneficial for those with disabilities AND their families.

  21. That’s exactly the age we put our AS (Angelman Syndrome) daughter in a group home, and for pretty much the same reasons. We wanted her to be acclimated to the people she might end up living with for the rest of her life.

    It is not easy to find a place where they seem to click with the other clients and staff, but when you find that place, it is a feeling of relief.

    I hope he finds a good placement for James. He’s been a good spokesperson for AS and always honest about the issues families face.

  22. And it’s not like Colin Farrell is young exactly. These are the type of things parents need to consider as they age

  23. As the parent of a young adult child with a similar genetic disorder who needs 24/7 care and supervision, yeah you can’t do it for ever. Also til Colin Farrell has a high-needs special needs child, had no idea.

  24. I have a close friend who has children with Angleman Syndrome and 100% it is difficult and sad both physically and emotionally. It must be so devastating to have a child you cant communicate with properly.

  25. He’s right. Good to do it early to get him in a routines and socialization unlike when they are 30 and a parent can’t care for them anymore or passes and they are uprooted from previous living situation and in for a shock of living at a care facility with no visitors or something else with no transition period.

    My friend’s half brother has that and his dad died early at like 63. Then the brother went with his full sister for a bit then my friend tried but was too much for him and his wife’s mental health even though he was able to get a caregiver from the government 8 hours a day. Now he’s in a group home. Also unless the dad was hiding that he was doing it after the change he used to hit himself in the head with both hands when frustrated a lot and pull at his own hair constantly and sometimes hard enough to remove it. Enough to leave marks. Behavioral therapist figured it was because of all the changes. The father didn’t work and pretty much stayed home with him and they had a caregiver visit so many hours a week. His biological mother/friend’s step mom wanted him to go to a facility long ago and the father didn’t so she divorced him and moved across the country.

  26. His money can provide care that most parents of severely disabled children can only dream of. It’s not like his family won’t visit him!

  27. This is the right choice. Being a full time caregiver is hard, and you will get old. Knowing your family is being properly cared for is good. I’ve worked with special needs and the parents still feel guilty and constantly show up, It’s definitely a load off their minds though.

  28. If I had his money I’d do it, too. They can pay for the best LTC. No question.

  29. I hope this was said in the spirit of advocacy because it’s truly none of our business.

  31. He lucky he has the means to do so. Sometimes it’s for the best for people to be cared for by professionals.

  32. I’m not criticizing him for what he’s doing but I just wonder if you have that much money wouldn’t you be able to hire professionals to take care of the person at home like long term care but at home.

  33. There’s no need to explain at all. My husband works as a special education teacher with severely disabled students. He sees parents that are reluctant to put their kids in more accommodative long term care, and it’s making everyone (including the child) miserable, parents who are entering them into long term care as soon as they age out of the program and they feel very guilty about it (though they shouldn’t), and parents getting desperate to get their kid into longterm care (but mulled it over too long before getting on a waitlist) and have to struggle with it beyond their capacity while waiting. It’s a rough, but ultimately right decision that truly is for the best. As long as they’re visiting frequently on schedule and being active in their care plan there’s nothing to feel bad about.

  34. Has a mother of adult child that is disabled and who works with young adult that are disabled. Sometimes placement is the very best for the child and the parents. They get to do so much more than being at home. We rent apartment to them and they pay bills and get to buy the food they like and do ton of stuff. Everything is base of their pay 80% of them have jobs and make a fair wage . They have everything that adults have to deal with in life. We do have seem that are full care and they live in housing and have staff on hand 24 hours a day. No nursing home . This program has housing all over the place just for these adults.

  35. I remember hearing him talking about all the issues his son has and it requires a team of professionals. There’s no doubt he’s going to remain a part of his life but it’s completely understandable and I’m sure it’s for the best.

  37. I’ve seen videos of Colin Farrell with his son and I’ve seen nothing but love in his eyes for his son. As a father of a special needs son, I can’t imagine how painful that decision was for him and his family. Nothing but respect for him.

  38. I didn’t know he had angelman syndrome.  I met him when he was a baby, but I haven’t seen him since. 

    This is a good decision, and the right thing to do if you don’t know what state you’ll be in for care. 

  40. I worked for many years in group homes and I’m hugely in favor of that. Caregiving can be hard on families and it is important for people to have a chance to socialize and live with peers.

  41. I have a BIL in a group home for the last 23 yrs. He needs a lot of care and when his dad isn’t able we are his guardians. I actually just told my husb we should move him closer bc your dad is in his late 70s. I want to get him moved before his dad passes bc it’ll be bad for him. They’re really close.

  42. I think he’s been working for a long time to set up a caring long-term care solution that will benefit him and others because he knows his child will need it and he won’t be around forever.

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