Kennedy & Gorsuch on Fake Burps, Handcuffs, and the Law

13-year-old kid, seventh grader. He’s fake burping in class. He is. And he’s pretty good at it. He’s very good at it. Apparently, he disrupts the whole class. So, the teacher takes him out, sits him down in the hall, calls the assistant principal, she calls the police officer, I guess, uh, sign of the school. They take him to the principal off principal’s office. The police officer arrests him. and um kid’s mom sues. I think it was a 1983 action if I recall. That’s right. His mom sues and the majority held uh qualified immunity and um this is the way you describe the case. If a seventh grader starts trading fake burps for laughs in gym class, what’s a teacher to do? Order extra laps, detention, a trip to the principal’s office, maybe. But then again, maybe that’s too old school. Maybe today you call a police officer. And maybe today the officer officer decides that instead of just escorting the now compliant 13-year-old to the principal’s office, an arrest would be a better idea. So out come the handcuffs and off goes the child to juvenile detention. My colleagues, the majority, suggest the law permits exactly this option and they offer 94 pages explaining why they think that’s so. Respectfully, I remain unpersuaded. But it’s your last paragraph in that opinion that made me think of Trans Am. You went on to explain why you you interpreted the statute to u to be contrary to the majority opinion. But this is how you you you uh wrapped it up. Often enough the law can be a ass, a idiot. Quoting Dickens and Oliver Twist. And there is little we judges can do about it. For it is or should be emphatically our job to apply, not rewrite the law enacted by the people’s representatives. Indeed, a judge who likes every result he reaches is very likely a bad judge, reaching for results he prefers rather than those the law compels. So it is. So it is. I admire my colleagues today for no doubt they reach a result they dislike but believe the law demands and in that I see the best of our profession and much to admire. It’s only that in this particular case I don’t believe the law happens to be quite as much of a ass as they do and I respectfully descent.

Senator Kennedy recounts a jaw-dropping case where a 13-year-old was arrested for fake burping in class, sparking a deeper conversation with then-nominee Neil Gorsuch about qualified immunity, judicial restraint, and the limits of lawmaking.

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21 comments

  6. Back in my day the boy or girl who was acting up in class got there butts spanked by the teacher or principal why get the law involved in such childish behavior

  7. I can agree with a judge not arresting a child for disrupting class what I can’t agree with is a judge doing the same for an illegal immigrant adult who has assaulted a woman and taking the alien out a side door to help him escape justice

  9. This is insane. It’s ok to teach our preschool kids about things way outside of what they need to ever know sexually, yet a teen can be arrested for fake burping in class. The world really has gone mad – or those who rule the world have gone madder.

  11. Quoting Dickens and the judge makes me wonder if it was actually written grammatically incorrect because it should be
    An ass
    An idiot
    Because the rule is if the following adjective or pronoun starts with a vowel then you use an instead of a.
    🤔
    Any cop who arrested child for burping is an idiot and an ass and a tyrant. One of the most stupid arrests in history!

  14. What type of society have we become to arrest of 13-year-old boy for belching? That is insane. There is no legal justification for an arrest in my humble..

  16. Now they they have gone as far in the opposite direction and students get away with assaulting teachers other students and many things they should go to jail for and nothing is done about it

  20. We live in a full on Orwellian society.. burping in class, even “fake” burping (not sure how you achieve that one) is technically a fourth amendment right (free speech, though there aren’t much words to be said while burping).. this is actually full on, fuckin insane …

  21. I would have taken him out I. Hall laughed n told him how good he was at it. Talked awhile. Hot him on my side and ask him to do me a favor n help me get class back on track. Found some way to incorporate the burping into a game or some kind of experiment. Who can produce most burps in a minute. Measure oxygen levels etc. Maybe have teams. All kinds of ways to turn it into a win win. Biology teacher. So I could.

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