If you call someone a name of any object with the word absolute behind it, it automatically turns into an insult. For example: You absolute lamppost.

by Fawnerabloom

30 comments
  1. Well, you’re a fucking teapot, ain’t ya love!?

  2. Putting ‘absolute’ In-front of anything, then it’s pretty much unlimited British insults.

  3. I see the fuck up fairy has been waving her magic wand again.

  4. A Hungarian with the anglicised name of ‘George Mikes’ wrote a definitive chapter on British insults in his book ‘How to be an alien’.

    “In England it is bad manners to be clever, to assert something confidently. It may be your own personal view that two and two make four, but you must not state it in a self-assured way, because this is a democratic country and others may be of a different opinion.”

  5. If he fell in a barrel full of titts he would still come out sucking his thumb.

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