Has to be the worst article about Luxembourg i’ve ever seen. They complain CBD weed doesn’t get you high and Esch has nothing “cultural” to be the new European Capital of Culture in 2022.

7 comments

  1. The Telegraph article is even worse. Copied below because paywall:

    **What happened on holiday in the EU’s most boring Capital of Culture**

    Our writer visits Esch-sur-Alzette, where even the legalised cannabis has had the fun removed

    I wasn’t sure what to do with myself, so I bought some cannabis. I’d had a tough 24 hours attempting to uncover the riches of Esch-sur-Alzette: an industrial town in southern Luxembourg, and one of Europe’s newly minted Capitals of Culture. Only its riches weren’t yielding. The town of 35,000 souls seemed strangely impenetrable to my curiosity. Perhaps I was out of practice, what with Covid and all.

    I’d swung by Esch’s only museum — about Luxembourg’s resistance to Nazi invaders, and all the more poignant given what’s happening elsewhere on the continent — but it was closed for refurbishment. I found no other tourist attractions to speak of, no markets, quirky shops or village weirdos. I was the sole diner in an empty but excellent Lebanese restaurant. And most of the bars I passed looked a bit forlorn; lots of flashing fruit machines flirting with middle-aged men. Luxembourg’s vaccine passport probably wasn’t helping. And it was Wednesday, and February. But still.

    I suppose I had a certain image of Luxembourg before I set out. I pictured rolling hills and fairytales towns; grand architecture, dubious tax arrangements and blacked-out Beemers ferrying pin-striped bankers around. To be honest, though, I hadn’t given it much thought.

    The City of Luxembourg broadly fit that image. There I gazed across the gorge that carves the capital in two, spotting art nouveau facades, ornamental spires and executive cars purring down the street. I walked in the shadow of the Bank Museum, saw a queue outside the Hermes shop and peered through the windows of expensive tailors. It felt quietly lavish, a bit fusty. Old money.

    Esch was different. I was struck by its ordinariness; the utilitarian architecture, the nondescript shops, the quiet streets. There was a demure orderliness to the place; no litter, no homelessness, no empty shops. Hardly thriving, but lacking the sense of abandonment you get in some old industrial towns. There was even a provincial theatre.

    Its multicultural population was immediately noticeable. There were many faces from other places — France, Portugal, Cape Verde, Brazil, beyond — all likely lured by Luxembourg’s €2,200-a-month minimum wage. A mile away in France it was a measly €1,500.

    Only in Esch nobody seemed to be out spending it. I traipsed the lonely streets looking for life, but succeeded only in aggravating my bunions. That’s when I stumbled upon the cannabis shop.

    Luxembourg is the first country in the European Union to legalise growing and using cannabis. It’s available to buy in shops, but — and here’s the kicker — only with the THC (the bit that gets you high) removed. How very Luxembourg. What’s left is CBD, which supposedly quells anxiety.

    I told Sasha, who ran the shop, that I couldn’t find anything to do. He puffed his cheeks out and released a sigh. “I’m not surprised. There’s not much to do. It’s quiet here.” But this is the Capital of Culture, I reasoned. He shrugged. This time he was surprised.

    Sasha suggested that I visit Belval, the abandoned steel works on the edge of town, which is being reimagined as a scientific and cultural quarter. So I paid for my pouch of ‘Lion’s Cush’ and jumped on the bus.

    From a distance, and against the graphite sky, Belval’s towering chimney stacks and blast furnaces looked vaguely dystopian, like a scene from a graphic novel; up close, they were colossal. I felt giddy just being in the presence of such imposing architecture — and I hadn’t even started on the Lion’s Cush.

    Belval was the engine room of the local economy until the nineties, when it declined in that familiar way, unable to compete with foreign steel. Rather than sending in the wrecking ball, the authorities spent €450m preserving the defunct industrial structures, using them as the centre-point for the site’s redevelopment.

    Belval 2.0 is a work in progress, but what they have achieved there is impressive. In the shadows of its lacquered chimney stacks, a revival is underway. Powering it is Rockhal — the country’s largest live music venue — and the University of Luxembourg, which relocated its science faculty there. Restaurants, shops and trendy apartments are also rising from the ashes.

    I wizzed around a tiny exhibition about the rise, fall and revival of Belval, then dived into Rockhal Cafe for lunch. Only it was closing for the afternoon, so I had a coffee and left. For want of anything better to do, I decided to walk to France with the Lion’s Cush. I figured that taking drugs across the border might add a frisson of excitement to the day. It was the kind of story my mum would like to hear.

    The French border was at a nearby Total garage, according to my phone. Crossing it was totally uneventful. For the first time, France failed to lift my spirits. I kept walking but a motorway forced me to retreat. So I got the bus back to Esch, wondering why, when public transport is free in Luxembourg, the country has among the highest rate of car ownership in the world (and the congestion to prove it).

    Back in Esch, I moseyed over to Kulturfabrik — a slaughterhouse turned cultural space — but it was closed. So I swung by Pitcher, an American-themed bar that the receptionist at my hotel recommended. It was buzzy, rock music was playing, and the barman was friendly, like most locals I met. He grew up in Esch. “It’s like a village,” he told me, between pulling half-pints. “Everybody knows everybody.” Summer was best, he said; there were festivals, sunshine, a “different vibe”. The rest of the time, he conceded, there wasn’t much to do.

    Which raises a question about the Capital of Culture thing. Its early days saw triumphs — Glasgow and Liverpool among them — and more recently the likes of Leeuwarden have put on a great show. But they were cities with a cultural infrastructure, something to work with. I couldn’t help but feel that in Esch, most of the culture would have to be parachuted in, or risk being too parochial for international visitors.

    I left Pitcher to smoke the Lion’s Cush in a park overlooking town. It had no effect. Undeterred, I had one final look around to see if anything — or anyone — could tempt me from my bed. I was willing prey, eager to be led. But Esch was quiet and uninviting, and it began to rain, so I called it a night. An hour later I was under the covers, drifting off into a glorious, deep sleep.

  2. But this is true, Luxembourg is boring country and by extension Esch is a boring village in a tiny boring country. We have cities with centuries of background and we have the European Capital of Culture in Esch? Okay, but assume it is for the money not because Esch has anything to offer.

  3. I mean Esch is a little bit weird as a choice. It isn’t as big or ‘happening’ as Luxembourg City itself, which does have something in the way of cultural and historical significance. Yes Luxembourg City is not the most exciting city in Europe, but it’s far from dead. Nor is it one of the smaller but much nicer towns in the middle or north of the country, which at least have a neat looking castle. Meanwhile Esch has…. an unremarkable university campus? A second-hand furniture shop?

    I don’t really understand the cannabis complaint though. What does that have to do with being the European Capital of Culture?

  5. They are full of crap. Everybody knows how culturally enriched Esch is. You might get stabbed and your purse stolen but thats a small price to pay when visiting such shith….Beautiful melting pot. But i think i know why the author of that article feels this way. he visited Esch during the day time you want to visit Esch in the evening or in the night to experience true cultural enrichment

  6. It is not THE capital of kultcha, there are several each year. You would be hard pressed to name the others or even point to them on a map. (And i have been to one of them)

  7. Let’s be real. All it is, is a circlejerk for the elite, anyway. What do we get out of this, apart from a farcical sense of pride at most, while all the infrastructural issues are ignored and left on the side? Esch is a pretty ironic choice with the huge disparity between the worse parts of the town and the epitome of gentrification at Belval.

Leave a Reply