This is a gloriously silly yet insightful article:
>There are two ways the UK can go about seizing its rightful crown as the most narratively coherent highly dystopian country on earth. The first is to embrace Gothic excess to a ludicrous degree; intern Queen Elizabeth on the Golden Throne, gifting her immortality and confirming everyone’s long held suspicion that the Tower of London would fall before Charles became king, mandate that all buildings be ornamented to the very limits of their structural integrity, and insist that if you can’t do business in that environment then you simply can’t do business.
>This may well have deleterious effects on the 40% or so of our GDP composed of recruitment agencies hiring marketers who advertise recruitment agencies, but then I’ve long suspected that was a sort of closed-loop populated by low-level machine intelligences hoping no-one will notice the patent absurdity of their business model or that no money ever leaves it to pay for food or water. I would hope that any loss thereby incurred would be made up for by a surge in the incense, vellum, and quill industries, or at least the project to colonise the moon in the name of Her Britannic Majesty.
>I suspect we’d be quite good at this. We already have a byzantine and largely uncaring bureaucratic state in place, so the creation of a sufficiently complex and insane administration is basically halfway there already. We have plenty of looming dystopian brutalist buildings, and crumbling gothic masterpieces. Tacking on a few additional layers of theatrical stupidity is not going to be a gigantic stretch for a country which still maintains a Royal College of Heralds to govern the issuing of coats of arms and provide the Queen with assistance when conducting her duties.
>The only viable alternative for defeating “goblin mode” — clinical depression as a mode of civilisational failure — is to tip the scale all the way over to the other side, indulge our love of beer, football, and building strange contraptions in sheds, and embrace our inner Ork. After all, nothing’s so serious it can’t be a bit of a laugh too.
There is no peace amongst the deanoboxes, only an eternity of carnage and slaughter and the laughter of thirsting Gods.
BoJo sounds like the name of some shit tier techno-barbarian…
What rampant xenophobia, mass genocide and paranoid religious delusion ?
Fuck it can I get assigned to tanith ? I’ll bring my own straight silver.
What…. Ok, just had to check which reddit…
I guess we all need to go to tailors to get over the top uniforms, gigantic hats and find a few million skulls whilest looking for a load of people who can rivet metal and ban welding…
Don’t look up goblin mode on urban dictionary it’ll just leave you more confused.
Although the sex position description made me chuckle
>Who in Britain today might merit the sort of state-led pomp and circumstance afforded by Paris to Charles-Etienne — David Attenborough? Gareth Southgate?
Good question tbh.
I literally have no idea what the article is about. Warhammer’s political plots I guess.
Well glad to see The Critic embrace its role as a farcical outlet for the weak-minded at last. Had that brief spell of having all the usual reactionary types sharing it all over UK social media as if it was some new impartial source of serious insights which was a bit annoying.
Joked that it was about that 40k whilst thinking it must be about everyone having a 40k salary or some weird shit.
Clicked on it a realised it really was about that 40k.
As long I can join the Black Templars, im good with this happening.
The bad news- your job is about to be done by a servitor
The good news- you get to keep your job.
>There are two ways the UK can go about seizing its rightful crown as the most narratively coherent highly dystopian country on earth. The first is to embrace Gothic excess to a ludicrous degree…
13 comments
This is a gloriously silly yet insightful article:
>There are two ways the UK can go about seizing its rightful crown as the most narratively coherent highly dystopian country on earth. The first is to embrace Gothic excess to a ludicrous degree; intern Queen Elizabeth on the Golden Throne, gifting her immortality and confirming everyone’s long held suspicion that the Tower of London would fall before Charles became king, mandate that all buildings be ornamented to the very limits of their structural integrity, and insist that if you can’t do business in that environment then you simply can’t do business.
>This may well have deleterious effects on the 40% or so of our GDP composed of recruitment agencies hiring marketers who advertise recruitment agencies, but then I’ve long suspected that was a sort of closed-loop populated by low-level machine intelligences hoping no-one will notice the patent absurdity of their business model or that no money ever leaves it to pay for food or water. I would hope that any loss thereby incurred would be made up for by a surge in the incense, vellum, and quill industries, or at least the project to colonise the moon in the name of Her Britannic Majesty.
>I suspect we’d be quite good at this. We already have a byzantine and largely uncaring bureaucratic state in place, so the creation of a sufficiently complex and insane administration is basically halfway there already. We have plenty of looming dystopian brutalist buildings, and crumbling gothic masterpieces. Tacking on a few additional layers of theatrical stupidity is not going to be a gigantic stretch for a country which still maintains a Royal College of Heralds to govern the issuing of coats of arms and provide the Queen with assistance when conducting her duties.
>The only viable alternative for defeating “goblin mode” — clinical depression as a mode of civilisational failure — is to tip the scale all the way over to the other side, indulge our love of beer, football, and building strange contraptions in sheds, and embrace our inner Ork. After all, nothing’s so serious it can’t be a bit of a laugh too.
There is no peace amongst the deanoboxes, only an eternity of carnage and slaughter and the laughter of thirsting Gods.
Hell yeah, let’s make Henry Cavill [Emperor of Mankind](https://spikeybits.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/8426ee34-henry-cavill-the-emperor-warhammer-40k-witcher-superman.jpg) and start making power armour.
Are we currently in the Age Of Strife?
BoJo sounds like the name of some shit tier techno-barbarian…
What rampant xenophobia, mass genocide and paranoid religious delusion ?
Fuck it can I get assigned to tanith ? I’ll bring my own straight silver.
What…. Ok, just had to check which reddit…
I guess we all need to go to tailors to get over the top uniforms, gigantic hats and find a few million skulls whilest looking for a load of people who can rivet metal and ban welding…
Don’t look up goblin mode on urban dictionary it’ll just leave you more confused.
Although the sex position description made me chuckle
>Who in Britain today might merit the sort of state-led pomp and circumstance afforded by Paris to Charles-Etienne — David Attenborough? Gareth Southgate?
Good question tbh.
I literally have no idea what the article is about. Warhammer’s political plots I guess.
Well glad to see The Critic embrace its role as a farcical outlet for the weak-minded at last. Had that brief spell of having all the usual reactionary types sharing it all over UK social media as if it was some new impartial source of serious insights which was a bit annoying.
E – Ironically [the author](https://henryjacksonsociety.org/staff/sam-ashworth-hayes/) is actually from the think tank that published [the Global Britain report](https://henryjacksonsociety.org/publications/global-britain-a-twenty-first-century-vision/)! Again I just have to say I am loving this reactionary far-right wave collapse into a mess in this new world order, that all it can do is revert back to shitposting trash-tier memes like they’re still on 4Chan, except now they’re all aging middle class professionals watching their life clock tick down ever faster.
Joked that it was about that 40k whilst thinking it must be about everyone having a 40k salary or some weird shit.
Clicked on it a realised it really was about that 40k.
As long I can join the Black Templars, im good with this happening.
The bad news- your job is about to be done by a servitor
The good news- you get to keep your job.
>There are two ways the UK can go about seizing its rightful crown as the most narratively coherent highly dystopian country on earth. The first is to embrace Gothic excess to a ludicrous degree…
What’s the second?