Trump Blows Up Over TACO Nickname, Demands Apology from 60 Minutes & Elon Leaves Washington

Trump Blows Up Over TACO Nickname, Demands Apology from 60 Minutes & Elon Leaves Washington

the host. Thanks for watching. Thanks for coming. Thanks for joining us. Welcome. Please relax. And we’re happy to have you here. And I’m happy to share some good news from Washington for a change. Uh we got a message from Elon Musk. An important message. It said, “As my scheduled time as a special government employee comes to an end, I would like to thank President Donald Trump for the opportunity to reduce wasteful spending.” Hey, you know what? For spending, that’s great. We’re just happy your time as a special government employee has come to an end. We are glad you’re bomb. Elon had a remarkable 130day stint in government. He came, he chainsawed, we bled, he left. When he started, he promised to save us a trillion dollars. Now he says Doge will probably only save about $ 160 billion. Whereas most everyone else says he probably cost us hundreds of billions of dollars. Officials from the IRS alone estimate his cuts to that agency will result in a minimum of 500 billion in uncollected taxes this year. But here’s the thing. Politics isn’t about money. It’s not about success. It’s not about failure. It’s about the lives of the civil servants you destroy along the way. That’s what’s most important. And Elon promised that Do’s work will go on uh in his similar to how the Empire continued killing Ewoks after the emperor died. Now that he’s out of Washington, Elon can return to his primary job, which is destroying companies and inseminating every woman in sight. Trump doesn’t have anybody to take the blame for him anymore. Now, yesterday, the Court of International Trade ruled unanimously that Trump does not have the authority to implement the big, beautiful tariffs he’s slapping on everyone. Trump’s lawyers immediately appealed the decision. The DOJ claims that stopping these tariffs would take away Trump’s leverage in trade negotiations and embolden other countries to take advantage of. And basically the court pulled down his pants and showed China his little mushroom and they’re mad. Since this is kind of incredible, since taking office in January, Trump has changed his tariff policy more than 50 times as any stable genius would. And that is starting to catch up to him. Yesterday he blew up at a reporter cuz she asked him about a new nickname that’s been making the rounds on Wall Street. They’re calling him Taco, which is an acronym for Trump always chickens out. Taco. And you’re not going to believe this. He doesn’t like the nickname at all. She asked it. He called it a nasty question, but it seems to be catching on. There’s been an outpouring of taco themed AI on social media featuring our Crunch wrap supreme leader in all manner of chicken guard, rooster hair, and this master fivepiece family meal. All in celebration of our eloo loco. How does it feel to be on the other end of the nickname game? Not great, does it? The only thing would make it worse is if somebody changed the lyrics to a song by his beloved village people to drive it home. I want to be a taco man. Be a taco taco man. I want to be a taco. Taco taco man. I want to be a taco man. Taco taco man. I got to be real taco. Hey, you wanted to be a macho man? We got Taco Man instead. This could This could be the new YMCA. They can play it at rallies. You can do T A C O. Right. Trump right now is reportedly one step closer to settle settling the lawsuit he filed against 60 Minutes. Trump suing CBS for $20 billion because an interview they aired with Kla Harris caused him mental anguish. He could sue them for mental anguish. Imagine how much we could sue him for. We’re going to be rich. Paramount, which is CBS’s parent company, h reportedly offered Trump $15 million to settle the case. He said no. His lawyers want at least $25 million. And even worse, they want an apology for not doing anything wrong. If you haven’t been following this, during the election, 60 Minutes did a segment with Kla Harris. And because 60 Minutes is only 60 Minutes, they edited the interview just like they always do. But Trump, who never misses an opportunity to a whine and b abuse the legal system, claimed based on no evidence that 60 Minutes edited the interview deceptively to make his opponent look better. He sued them for $10 billion. And then even though he won the election, he raised it to $20 billion, which the whole company isn’t even worth $20 billion. They’re selling it for eight right now. It’s a plainly frivolous lawsuit. But Sher Redstone, who inherited Paramount from her horrible father, is trying to sell her company, and she knows Trump will vindictively use his power as president to block that from happening through the FCC. So now she’s trying to pay him off, and she’s going to pay him off. This is how it works now. It’s just like the mafia, but with cheeseburgers instead of gobble. So, and the saddest part is he’s squeezing CBS harder than he’s squeezing Russia. Trump now says he plans to give Russia two weeks to prove they’re serious about a peace deal with Ukraine, which is exactly the kind of tough talk we need. I’m gonna give you the count of whatever you want. And hopefully it’s not the same kind of two weeks like when he said he’ll have a healthc care plan in two weeks. That was four years ago. And then we have America’s mayor Rudy Giuliani who’s been cast out of the Trump inner circle and is doing his best to entertain tens if not dozens of people live on Rumble. And San Panka has how many people? 2.8 million followers on Twi on on Twitter or Twitch? Twitch is different than Twitter, right? Right. What the hell is Twitch? Is that another Chinese operation? I I don’t believe so. It’s It’s for gamers primarily. So, so he he We’re on Twitch. We are. Let’s get off. I mean, hold on. Excuse me. I I have a question. Uh, Mr. Giuliani, what is it that you’re wearing? I mean, he is dressed like there was a fire in his apartment. He had to get out fast. It’s a red t-shirt under a western style tweed and suede sport coat topped off with a red checkered pocket square. It’s full mental jacket. It’s It’s like Ronald McDonald scored a guest spot on Bonanza. All I can assume is that his caregiver hates him. The good news for Rudy is he probably won’t have to worry about any more of those pesky investigations from the FBI. FBI director Cash Patel sat for an interview with Fox News last night. And when I say sat, before I share this, I I feel it’s important to let you know the footage you’re about to see was not altered in any way. Peter, thank you. Welcome back to Quantico, Virginia, the FBI Academy, and we’re joined by FBI Director Cash Patel. They’re so cute when they’re little, aren’t they? It’s Oh my I would have loved to see him clamber up onto that chairs. Why would they put them in those? They look like leprechauns. It’s like looks like his Looks like Cash’s mom is about to feed him a jar of peas. It’s Patel on a shelf. You know, I mentioned last night our secretary of health, RFK Jr. announced that the government is no longer recommending the COVID vaccine for children and pregnant women. Today, he canceled a contract with Madna to develop a bird flu vaccine, which, you know, makes sense. You can’t make America healthy again until you make us sick again first. Can you imagine what would happen if another pandemic sweeps the RFK? He’d be doing daily press conferences saying, “You’re not doing enough crunches. strip off that shirt and do push-ups in your jeans. It’ll go away. He offered no scientific evidence to justify any of this. And he’s not a doctor, but he did make the announcement alongside some people who are. Hi everybody. I’m Robert F. Kennedy Jr., your HHS secretary, and I’m here today with NIH director Dr. Hanniba and FDA Commissioner Frank. Last year, the Biden administration urged healthy children to get yet another COVID shot despite the lack of any clinical data to support the repeat booster strategy in children. Vaccines ruin the flavor of flesh vac. I think Dr. Frankenstein was the other. Anyway, they got this under control. According to a new survey, nearly half of Gen Z believes that monogamy is an outdated concept. The survey said 42% of 18 to 24 year olds believe that monogamy is no longer realistic. And that number goes way up if you’re dating Bill Bich. It’s interesting cuz for the past few years, all we’ve been hearing about Gen Z is that they they’re having less sex. They’re not interested in sex. Now they don’t believe in monogamy, which is what is the goal? to not sleep with a lot of people. This is why we named them Gen Z. They’re the last one. Yeah. If there’s one thing to know about our show, it’s that we always aim to educate first and foremost. For example, we thought it would be fun if we duped my cousin Mickey, who is the sweetest, nicest person you will ever meet, into teaching children where babies come from. And we told Mickey, who’s a mother, that we wanted her to answer questions from kids. We didn’t tell her. It was all the questions would be about how babies are made. And well, here’s how that went. Hi, Eva. Come on in. How are you? I’m good. Good. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, too. Anything you want to talk about? Where do babies come from? Oh, interesting. You know what? All you need to know is that you came from your mom’s very special body that she took care of. How does a baby breathe in there? Oh gosh. Um, it just works out. It just works. And sometimes, sadly, it doesn’t always work out. They become little angels, but I have two kids and I just think it’s a miracle they’re here because it’s all very confusing. Like, I just wanted them to come out breathing and have a head and have one head and and some people have two heads and that’s that’s okay. And if you ever meet one or two rather, I know you wouldn’t judge. Just don’t judge. So like each head has what fraction of the body though? Not really sure, but we wish them the best. What’s your name? My name is Avery. Nice to meet you. I like your hair. Thank you very much. You’re welcome very much. Anything you want to talk about? Well, is there anything that you want to talk about? That’s so nice of you. Thank you. You’re very welcome. What’s your favorite color? My favorite color is pink. So, do you know where babies come from? Oh my goodness. Um, let’s see. Babies come out of um a very special place um in the mom’s body. It’s like the privates. That sounds terrifying. Well, it it can be terrifying. You know, it can be. But sometimes in life, some of the ter beautiful things sometimes come out of a terrifying moment. it. There’s a lot of responsibility to it and you have to make sure you are on top of your game. Are you telling me to have a kid? No, no, no. No, I’m not telling you, but it’s a big responsibility. So, I never want anybody to rush and do it. Enjoy your life and just make sure it’s with somebody that respects you. I don’t know why I’m going deep with you, but you seem like you could go deep. Why do babies like boobs so much? like um it’s just kind of cozy and comfortable and they get they they survive sometimes off boobs. Well, how do the moms make milk? It’s just magic. Well, is it skim milk or whole milk? It’s more um love milk. Are your boobs full of milk right now or are there This is These are menopause boobs. So, they’re just big. Thank you. But they’re bigger because I’m getting older. But I did at some point I heard that babies have like a soft spot on on the top of their head. They do. Why? I think because they’ve gone through so much inside. Maybe they hit their head a lot against like the wall. That’s why some have to wear helmets. And that’s okay. And if you ever see a baby with a helmet, do not judge. I don’t think you would. I might. Oh, you know what? That’s okay because it’s not It’s okay to feel that way, but try not to. Why don’t grandmas even like have babies when they’re like older? Because sometimes when you get older you you die inside. As you get older, like they say each day you die. You’re dying. But that sounds so crazy. It does. It just I know. And I’m sorry we’re going too deep here. Thank you. It was a pleasure. Enjoy being a kid. Don’t worry about all that other stuff. Okay. Bye. Bye. I’m just going to leave. Okay. What’s your name? My name’s Hayden. Nice to meet you. That’s a cute name. Why do babies stay in the belly for 9 months? I think it takes nine months because it’s like the toes are here and like let’s appreciate that. Well, like which part comes first? I think what comes first is um the shell of the body to be able to uh hold everything inside. When does the baby get its ears? I don’t know what month the ears come, but you just hope that two come, right? And if not, and you ever see anybody with one ear, you just you don’t say anything bad. Do the babies have big teeth when they’re in the tummy? No, tiny. And I love baby teeth. I thought babies didn’t have teeth when they were born. Um, you’re right. Wait, it’s making babies gross. Um, it can be. It can be. No. No. um if it’s done with the right person or you know how how it all came about like discussions should be made you know like you should just be no it’s not gross. Thank you Nikki. Oh you’re welcome. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. You’re sweet. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And thank you, Mickey. Thank you, GMO. Do you know how many subscribers we have on YouTube now? Uh, 20 million. That’s right. Yeah. That’s why we’re wearing these glasses. Thanks for being a subscriber. If you’re not, help us get to 20 million and one.

Elon Musk’s time as a Special Government Employee has come to end, the court of International Trade ruled unanimously that Trump did not have the authority to implement the big, beautiful tariffs he slapped on everyone, Trump blew up at a reporter for asking about his new nickname “TACO” that’s been making the rounds on Wall Street which stands for “Trump Always Chickening Out,” he is now reportedly one step closer to settling the ridiculous lawsuit he filed against 60 minutes, he now says he plans to give Russia “two weeks” to prove they are serious about a peace deal with Ukraine, America’s Mayor Rudy Giuliani wore a crazy outfit, FBI Director Kash Patel sat for an interview with Fox News, RFK Jr made an announcement about COVID vaccines and Cousin Micki teaches us where babies come from.

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Jimmy Kimmel serves as host and executive producer of Emmy® nominated “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” ABC’s late-night talk show. “Jimmy Kimmel Live” is well known for its viral video successes, with over 16 billion views and more than 19 million subscribers on the show’s YouTube channel. Some of Kimmel’s most popular comedy bits include Celebrities Read Mean Tweets, Lie Witness News, Halloween Candy YouTube Challenge, Jimmy and Cousin Sal pranking Aunt Chippy and music stars like Rihanna and Dua Lipa surprising Jimmy in the middle of the night.