There’s been a shift. AI is no longer this exclusive technology reserved for tech bros and hoodie-wearing coders. It’s here. It’s every day. It’s in your search bar, your calendar, your emails, and yep, it’s even popped into therapy sessions. I hear it all the time now, “I asked ChatGPT and it said…”
So, should we be clutching our pearls in panic? Or is AI the new vibrator? Controversial at first, but soon to be everywhere, a symbol of progress?
And the big question I always want answered… What impact will it have on our sex lives?
So let’s start with my favourite question: What does the science say?
A review by Döring et al. (2024) looked at 88 studies between 2020 and 2024, exploring how people are already using AI in sexual contexts.
*Spoiler alert: it’s not just for writing emails or cheating on assignments.
They found four key ways AI is being used in the world of sex:
1. Sexual information and education. AI is stepping in where sex ed has so often failed us. People are turning to tools like ChatGPT for quick, anonymous, shame-free answers to the questions they never got to ask (or were too embarrassed to).
2. Sexual counselling and therapy. Therapy can be expensive, hard to access, or something only one half of a couple is keen on. AI offers a low-barrier entry point for reflection, support, and guidance.
3. Simulated intimacy. We are the lonely generation. We text more than we talk. We swipe instead of meet. AI is filling emotional gaps by offering simulated conversation, validation, even virtual companionship.
4. Erotica and pornography. Porn isn’t new. But AI-generated porn? That’s a different beast. Whether it’s tailored erotica or hyper-specific visuals, AI is allowing people to explore desires in very personalised (and sometimes problematic) ways. More on that in a minute.
Across all of these areas, Döring’s team found mostly positive outcomes. But, naturally, there are risks. Two big ones stand out to me: Emotional dependence on AI (especially chatbots that mimic emotional connection); and the terrifying rise of non-consensual deepfake pornography.
So, where does that leave us? With some questions worth getting curious about!
How do we use this tech wisely? Can we embrace the opportunities while protecting ourselves from the risks?
So, can AI really improve your sex life?
In short: yes… but with caution.
Let’s break down the ways it can help and where to tread carefully.
AI-generated sexual health information
Got a question you never learned in sex ed? AI might have the answer. According to Döring et al. (2024), sexual health info generated by AI is mostly accurate, but context matters. The quality of the answer depends on the quality of your prompt.
For example:
Weak prompt: “Tell me about boundaries.”
Strong prompt: “Act as a trained sex educator. Explain the importance of boundaries in relationships, with examples and reflection questions.”
The latter will give you a richer, more useful answer.
That said, AI isn’t free from bias. Most models are trained on huge datasets filled with human content, which means human biases sneak in, too. Gender norms, misinformation around reproductive rights, and political slants can colour the responses. So best to use it as a guide, not gospel. Also, know that not all sexual health questions are fair game; some queries might be blocked if they breach content guidelines, unless you’re using an AI model trained specifically for sex education.
AI as a therapy support tool
This one gives some people the ick. And understandably, therapy is sacred ground. But let’s stay curious.
AI-as-therapist isn’t new. In fact, Döring’s team points out that in the 1960s, a chatbot named ELIZA used scripted responses to mimic a person-centred therapist. It didn’t actually understand but gave the illusion of understanding.
Now, more advanced AI models like ChatGPT have the potential to offer far more personalised, conversational responses. Some studies even found that people rated AI-generated advice as more empathetic than human-written versions.
But, and I need to emphasise it’s a really big but, AI still can’t do the deep stuff. It’s still just a language model. It can’t do nuanced, relational stuff, like reading between the lines, reading body language or building genuine trust.
What it can do is act as a warm-up. If you’re nervous about therapy, AI can help you build language around your concerns, introduce broad concepts, and make the whole idea feel less daunting.
Again, use a good prompt.
Something like: “Act as a trained relationship therapist. How can I approach a partner who avoids emotional conversations, while staying grounded in my own needs?”
You’ll likely get something thoughtful. Maybe even helpful. And when you do walk into therapy, you won’t be starting from scratch.
AI companions, erotica, and digital desire
From flirty chatbot companions to custom erotica and AI-generated porn, artificial intimacy is booming. These tools can offer validation, fantasy, and a shame-free way to explore desire, especially for those feeling lonely, curious, or underserved by mainstream content.
Used mindfully, they can be a playful or comforting supplement.
But, and yes, there is always a but, there are real concerns. Risks like emotional dependency on chatbots, unrealistic expectations from endless perfect porn, and serious ethical issues like non-consensual deepfakes can’t be ignored.
Bottom line?
AI can expand your erotic world, but it can’t replace human connection, consent, or the emotional nuance of real relationships. Use it as a tool, not a template, and stop to consider, “Am I happy to share what I am doing with a partner or real human?”. If not, reconsider and come back into the real world.
Final Thoughts
There is a place for AI in the sexual wellness space. There is no point denying it is here. And it’s not all scary: it can give you answers, spark new awareness, and support emotional exploration, especially if you’re isolated or under-resourced.
But no, it’s not a magic fix. It won’t replace the power of real human connection, professional guidance, or the slow, embodied experience of in-person intimacy.
While AI can talk to you about your sex life, it’s you who actually has to live it.