I’ve posted this article, as I wanted to talk about this for a minute.
I think that demanding that the city to take action is fair; but we as citizens – society if you will – should look at ourselves as well.
This weekend I was out in the centre of Ghent. And late in the evening I noticed a man in a “dominant” position over a woman in the woman’s toilets. I gathered all the courage I have and interjected; I pushed the guy away friendly but firmly and asked the woman if she is safe and needs help. Note that this guy was significantly larger than me or the girl.
The guy immediately bolted. She, after a few seconds, realised what I was “implying” and started yelling and screaming at me. “How dare you” etc… calling her “friend” to come back, he then als started yelling the same shit at me. I left; of course.
Honestly; if we as men need to do our part; this reaction isn’t the greatest. I get it, it’s not nice to be called out like that if nothing is going on; but reacting like that… well, it may stop me next time when I see a guy hovering over a girl in the toilets who might be in actual danger.
Should I have done this different?
What do you think about the role of bystanders?
Let me know your experiences.
Unpopular opininion: Flanders has a culture that implicitly encourages sexual assault, pedophilia in particular. Unless you solve that problem, any other measure is like “dweilen met de kraan open”.
Don’t get me wrong, any measures to decrease sexual assault numbers is a good one. After all, one case is one case too many. I just think people who are born now aren’t going to grow up in a world with less sexual assault, which is very sad.
Is the problem bigger with the allochtone men than the autochtone ones?
If i read about such cases in the press, at least half seem to have foreign names.
How can it be solved?
Without being racist I believe it is “ok” to say that it also can be linked with immigration and different cultures or lack of education. (not always, but often…)
I’m not judging but if you want to fix the problem you need to know where the root cause is situated.
The ones responsible for sexual violence are those committing sexual violence.
No, it is not the layout of the bars or dark streets. It is not walking home alone or what you are wearing.
There are predators among us.
“bescherm slachtoffers niet daders”. I think this is the best of the signs. I support this, specially the women that go through harassment every single day.
8 comments
I’ve posted this article, as I wanted to talk about this for a minute.
I think that demanding that the city to take action is fair; but we as citizens – society if you will – should look at ourselves as well.
This weekend I was out in the centre of Ghent. And late in the evening I noticed a man in a “dominant” position over a woman in the woman’s toilets. I gathered all the courage I have and interjected; I pushed the guy away friendly but firmly and asked the woman if she is safe and needs help. Note that this guy was significantly larger than me or the girl.
The guy immediately bolted. She, after a few seconds, realised what I was “implying” and started yelling and screaming at me. “How dare you” etc… calling her “friend” to come back, he then als started yelling the same shit at me. I left; of course.
Honestly; if we as men need to do our part; this reaction isn’t the greatest. I get it, it’s not nice to be called out like that if nothing is going on; but reacting like that… well, it may stop me next time when I see a guy hovering over a girl in the toilets who might be in actual danger.
Should I have done this different?
What do you think about the role of bystanders?
Let me know your experiences.
Unpopular opininion: Flanders has a culture that implicitly encourages sexual assault, pedophilia in particular. Unless you solve that problem, any other measure is like “dweilen met de kraan open”.
Don’t get me wrong, any measures to decrease sexual assault numbers is a good one. After all, one case is one case too many. I just think people who are born now aren’t going to grow up in a world with less sexual assault, which is very sad.
The fact that in 2017 [a convicted rapist could escape punishment by settling with the victim/victim’s family](https://www.theguardian.com/global-development/2017/mar/06/women-un-member-states-failed-by-rape-laws-sexual-violence-study-equality-now), is very telling.
The city? How is this the cities responsibility…
Is the problem bigger with the allochtone men than the autochtone ones?
If i read about such cases in the press, at least half seem to have foreign names.
How can it be solved?
Without being racist I believe it is “ok” to say that it also can be linked with immigration and different cultures or lack of education. (not always, but often…)
I’m not judging but if you want to fix the problem you need to know where the root cause is situated.
The ones responsible for sexual violence are those committing sexual violence.
No, it is not the layout of the bars or dark streets. It is not walking home alone or what you are wearing.
There are predators among us.
“bescherm slachtoffers niet daders”. I think this is the best of the signs. I support this, specially the women that go through harassment every single day.