Can the note go straight in the bin once they’ve finished wobbling a few heads?
[knock, knock]
“Did you steal my bin you prick”
“No and if mine goes missing I’ll assume it’s you and call the council”.
I had a very civilised version of this.
My bin disappeared. Went to neighbour and asked if he had seen anything. He said no. Looked down the road, saw a bin that looked like mine (it was the larger waste bin), so I went and knocked and asked. They said it was theirs.
I then went back home and had a cup of tea, ordered a new bin.
Two weeks later, I sat watch like a sniper in some kind of SAS special forces bruce lee fucking thin steven segal top secret james bond mission.
I watched in horror as my bin was picked up and thrown into the back of the bin lorry, and then the crew just moved on like nothing happened. Fucking murdered my bin in broad daylight. I went after them in my crocks, vape in one hand, other hand in my fisherman’s jacket pocket (these are important details to this novella that will become relevent later).
I said to them. “You just threw my bin in there and walked off?”
They said. “Yup.”
Non plussed that these highly trained professionals were being so cavalier about matters, I asked “Does that happen often?”
They smiled and said “Yup. All the time.”
Enraged at their lack of remorse for murdering my bin, I asked “Why!?”
And they said “Because sometimes it doesn’t grip the larger bins right and they get thrown in.”
Exhausted from being outside and away from Reddit, I crawled back to my house and collapsed in the kitchen. Several hours passed before I had the strength to get back up. But I felt different, like a new man, I was a phoenix rising from the flames.
I hopped on the laptop, and reordered another bin.
Some say, I am still reordering bins to this day.
I’m not reading that as “I will fuck you over” but “I will fuck you, over” as if it’s on a radio
“I will find you and fuck you…
Over!”
I genuinely thought for a second they were threatening to have sex with the culprit if they found them
Two days is quite generous.
Got to love anonymous notes. Where I am, some years ago, someone had posted a note on the front of a close door “to whom it may concern” threatening to call the RSPCA – and it even had replies from the suspect – it went on for days till the note disappeared…not sure how it ended. Something about a dog being loose.
This is not a meme
Lovely handwriting, to be fair. You don’t see much of that anymore
Did you though? 😅
2 Ðays? With an Eð?
…why did he stop wanting to fuck by the end?
Take it to a completely different street, maybe a good 10/15 minute walk in the car, then send a photo and map location and say that if he wasn’t so hostile then maybe he would have got it back by now. P.s Enjoy the walk!
“I will find you and I will kill you”
Liam Neeson ah vibe
I will find you and fuck you… Over.
Not if I find you first… Over and out.
Someone’s knockin’ at the door
Ways to ID your Bin and stop the fuck about.
One should be enough.
1.Tag the wheels a cool colour.
2.Colour in the underside of the lid of the bin.
3.Bin lid lock.
4.Stickers lots of little cartoon of preference stickers.
Big stickers come off in one and little stickers take more time.
The final step!
If it the gets nicked and you can ID it you can confidently and retrieve it, I suggest up too four street radius when searching. Optional petty revenge of emptying it on there front door, depending if you dislike nature and love littering.
I think she likes you.
I thought it eas maybe the plot line to Taken 10…..or whatever Neeson’s next role happens to be
Taken 4 – The Bin
Starring Liam Neeson.
“You cheeky twat – I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my blue bin go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will fuck you.”
20 comments
Blue, is that glass or paper?
Can the note go straight in the bin once they’ve finished wobbling a few heads?
[knock, knock]
“Did you steal my bin you prick”
“No and if mine goes missing I’ll assume it’s you and call the council”.
I had a very civilised version of this.
My bin disappeared. Went to neighbour and asked if he had seen anything. He said no. Looked down the road, saw a bin that looked like mine (it was the larger waste bin), so I went and knocked and asked. They said it was theirs.
I then went back home and had a cup of tea, ordered a new bin.
Two weeks later, I sat watch like a sniper in some kind of SAS special forces bruce lee fucking thin steven segal top secret james bond mission.
I watched in horror as my bin was picked up and thrown into the back of the bin lorry, and then the crew just moved on like nothing happened. Fucking murdered my bin in broad daylight. I went after them in my crocks, vape in one hand, other hand in my fisherman’s jacket pocket (these are important details to this novella that will become relevent later).
I said to them. “You just threw my bin in there and walked off?”
They said. “Yup.”
Non plussed that these highly trained professionals were being so cavalier about matters, I asked “Does that happen often?”
They smiled and said “Yup. All the time.”
Enraged at their lack of remorse for murdering my bin, I asked “Why!?”
And they said “Because sometimes it doesn’t grip the larger bins right and they get thrown in.”
Exhausted from being outside and away from Reddit, I crawled back to my house and collapsed in the kitchen. Several hours passed before I had the strength to get back up. But I felt different, like a new man, I was a phoenix rising from the flames.
I hopped on the laptop, and reordered another bin.
Some say, I am still reordering bins to this day.
I’m not reading that as “I will fuck you over” but “I will fuck you, over” as if it’s on a radio
“I will find you and fuck you…
Over!”
I genuinely thought for a second they were threatening to have sex with the culprit if they found them
Two days is quite generous.
Got to love anonymous notes. Where I am, some years ago, someone had posted a note on the front of a close door “to whom it may concern” threatening to call the RSPCA – and it even had replies from the suspect – it went on for days till the note disappeared…not sure how it ended. Something about a dog being loose.
This is not a meme
Lovely handwriting, to be fair. You don’t see much of that anymore
Did you though? 😅
2 Ðays? With an Eð?
…why did he stop wanting to fuck by the end?
Take it to a completely different street, maybe a good 10/15 minute walk in the car, then send a photo and map location and say that if he wasn’t so hostile then maybe he would have got it back by now. P.s Enjoy the walk!
“I will find you and I will kill you”
Liam Neeson ah vibe
I will find you and fuck you… Over.
Not if I find you first… Over and out.
Someone’s knockin’ at the door
Ways to ID your Bin and stop the fuck about.
One should be enough.
1.Tag the wheels a cool colour.
2.Colour in the underside of the lid of the bin.
3.Bin lid lock.
4.Stickers lots of little cartoon of preference stickers.
Big stickers come off in one and little stickers take more time.
The final step!
If it the gets nicked and you can ID it you can confidently and retrieve it, I suggest up too four street radius when searching. Optional petty revenge of emptying it on there front door, depending if you dislike nature and love littering.
I think she likes you.
I thought it eas maybe the plot line to Taken 10…..or whatever Neeson’s next role happens to be
Taken 4 – The Bin
Starring Liam Neeson.
“You cheeky twat – I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my blue bin go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will fuck you.”
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