Ladies and Gentlemen, I propose to you our next President

by public_masterbator

26 comments
  1. When God said, “Let there be light!” Tony Field said, “Say Please.”

  2. It’s a lesser known power of the Presidency, the ability to take all emergency services staff to Lanzarote for a week’s holidays.

  3. I’m not sure he understands what powers the actual president has.

    I’m sure McGregor and Flatley are in the same boat.

  4. The €5k direct payment offering from RTE would be cool, as long as it’s not in instalments, just a nice lump sum.

  5. He has the look of a suspicious Colonel Sanders about him.

  6. I like that it’s specifically Lanzarote. I bet he has a deal going with a resort over there.

  7. Goes to show our mental health service is really letting people down…

  8. I’ve seen this before. This lads cheese has long since slid of its cracker. He doesn’t understand the basics of human life, never mind anything else.

    Couldn’t find his arse with bith hands…

  9. If ever there was a man who needed to get high at least once in his life.

    Also love the assumption that frontline personnel have to get sent *just* to Lanzarote for their holidays. No flexibility for even any of the other Canary Islands. He probably thinks Madeira is a cake.

  10. and on the week all the essential workers are in Lanzarote, there will be a week long Purge in Ireland.

  11. I had to google “birching”. This chap is parody levels of unhinged psychopath.

  12. The real clincher that won my vote was the ingenious use of the same photo of himself, but flipped. A man who covers all angles, that’s who I’d want representing me in government. That and the (I will stop this) in the first promise

  13. He’s some man, going to stop drugs and all.

    Sending loads of people to Lanzarote whether they like it or not.

  14. Lad I know who’d campaign for Sinn Féin told me he showed up at the count center in Cork City Hall the Sunday of the local election count, walked straight up to the Sinners and asked “Hello I’m Tony Field, did I win?”

    Sadly he did not. Man is a nutcase, I know another story of him trying to assault a barwoman after she barred him for loudly giving out about immigrants to random customers.

  15. Surely this is either not real or satire? Surely? In this world though it still wouldn’t surprise me if this was real

  16. Y’know that moment when you need to take a break. Just a little breather. 5 minutes. You’ve been listening to the news on the radio and you’re having a little rant inside your head and your getting a bit worked up, with your thoughts are racing, and your internal fury at the madness of the world, and your difficult colleague at work yesterday, and that dispute over fees with this subscription that you forgot you signe—

    Anyhoo, this flyer sounds like that ranting inside-voice that should’ve stayed inside but somehow got published on a two sided full colour flyer and distributed door to door.

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