Charles Dickens says, “No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.” That means my advice is not only useless, but an active threat!
Seeking advice about the future? Problems with lovers? Just have something you need to get off your chest? Call Charlie!
Ciaran asks: When my cat curls up, is it more funny to call her a shrimp or a croissant?
Ciaran, the question isn’t which one is funnier; the question is, do you make shrimp puns, or do you say KWASONN? Think on this wisely, it’s not as shrimple as you’d expect.
Also, send me cat photos. I want to see this burrito.
Gary asks: What do the Astros need to do to fix their injury woes?
Is… is this baseball? We’re an Icelandic paper…. we don’t… we don’t really do baseball here? There’s one baseball club on the island, but it’s not like a national team. So, as somebody who grew up with no knowledge and understanding of baseball, my advice to the Astros would be: get good lmao.
Elizabeth asks: Are you in need of an IT person? Asking for a “friend”
Aha, you see, to answer your question:
–Segmentation fault (core dumped)–
Hello everyone, editor here. Charlie decided to make a computer joke. He thinks he’s smart, but I’d personally put him below average. Bless him. Just pretend to laugh and move on to the next Q&A question.
Annika asks: What’s up in Reykjavík 3–6 of August? Will visit with teenagers!
Honey, it’s Reykjavík Pride! It’s Iceland, so we celebrate our collection of queers in early August ‘cause the weather’s a little too shit in June. And though you’ll be leaving before you can catch the main parade, there’s still plenty to do! Queer crafting event, the opening ceremony, a rollerskate party for youngsters, and even a barbecue! The town is popping off, so come on down and join me and the rest of the queers.
Gudmundur asks: With the spooky season only a few months away, is Halloween getting popular in Iceland?
Gudmundur, I’m gonna level with you: Halloween is already popular in Iceland. I wish it wasn’t. Laugavegur is packed with garbage-spooky decorations, and shitty Halloween parties. You can see people dressed in all sorts of creepy attire running from bachelorette to party to stag do. The problem is, it’s late October, and it’s raining. You’re not gonna have kids going door to door trick or treating. You’re not going to have longstanding outdoor decorations in the wind. And pumpkins, in this economy? Forget about it.
Julie asks: Driving conditions along the South Coast in early November? I know it’s unpredictable, but just asking, generally speaking.
I will commune with the bones. Odds are they’re gonna say it’s shit.
I invoke thy names: Tibia, Toe, Humerus, and Ulna. Roll my pretties. What does the future hold?
Yeah, it’s shit. Not as bad as February.
Zoi asks: Where is the Q&A post?
You’re not gonna believe this, girl. You found it! Fire the confetti cannons, bring out the brass band, the works. This is the Q&A post. You sleuth you. Teehee, you found me.
So if you’re interested in asking the Grapevine a question, just like Zoi, keep an eye out on our Facebook and Instagram pages.
Charlie loves you
Bless Bless