That’s a pity. I’m sure it would have cracked me up.
I always have a conker in my pocket – not a euphemism – but no one plays anymore.
Wooden worry, conker jokes can be prickly hard to come up with.
Don’t keep us dangling, tell us the joke!
Quit horsing around
I’m not going to pull your chestnuts out of the fire.
Don’t forget to prep it before you string it for battles, so you can conker the school yard.
As a child, finding conkers was like finding jewellery….except the value was zilch but the joy unsurpassed!
Oh that old chestnut
Keep going. You’ll come out of your shell soon.
Don’t be too hard on yourself, jokes about conkers are a tough nut to crack
You can apparently grind up sweet chestnuts (not horse ones) and if you want to remind how shit rationing was, there is a recipe for Ersatz coffee using them.
Edit: poster pointed out horse ones are poisonous! So don’t eat those, probably not the best of ideas
I love opening up conkers but they really need to change up the toy. It’s always the same wooden ball!
Can’t knock that joke, it’s nuts
Ahhh memories… Roasting my nuts by an open fire, and other things that got me arrested.
Is that you William??
You tried a pun but it’s chestnut good enough.
did you ever play the N64 game, Conkers big nut day?
We’ll just call you William the Conckerer then
Recipe for a hearty conker stew I’ve just thought of:
* 2 Pints Water, bring to a boil
* Add approx 20 Conkers
* Thinly dice and add 1/2 Onion.
* Season with salt and pepper
* Just remembered conkers are not edible
* Throw it in the bin
Looks like that conkers having a bad fur day
Seems like a hit..🤔
That’s absolutely Conkers!
All the horse chestnuts round here have dropped their leaves already. Conker crop will be low yield round here this year.
A conker was talking to me but it was hard to hear. It was a hoarse chestnut.
Well it’s not they grow in trees now is it
Prick
Saw a kid yesterday wearing a jumper that proudly proclaimed: “BONKERS FOR CONKERS”.
I want one.
Some people pay for conkers
But I get mine from trees
Veni, vidi, vici
> I wanted to write a conker joke..
What’s the best strategy against the divide & conker? yummy!
> (Sorry! 😅)
Made it up just now. Sorry, too!
Don’t worry, Im sure your joke will smash it out the park
Peel back the shell of Reddit, and you’ll always find a nut inside somewhere 🙂
That’s a SMASHING conker!
Found out that americans call these Buckeyes last week. It was a TIL for me
I remarked to my young cousin the other day that there was a great conker tree in the road next to us if he wanted any and I said “But no throwing sticks at the tree to get the best ones at the top OK because its not good for the tree”.
He looked at me like I was batshit insane, asked me why I would throw sticks at trees and what conkers were before going back to playing on his Steam Deck.
Which was about the exact same moment I realised that no kid has probably played conkers since the late 80’s or very early 90’s.
Fuck me I’m old…. 😐
Do kids even still play conkers these days? Or they just all obsessed with devices now.
Have we had the annual “health and safety gone mad!” story about some random headteacher banning them yet?
It’s a great time of year. The trees are full near me and they don’t get the same treatment as they did when I was a kid- we used to throw everything to bring them down. Kids don’t have the same interest so there are some monsters up there. Walk the dog past everyday in the hope of I get a few before the squirrels 🐿️
39 comments
That’s a pity. I’m sure it would have cracked me up.
I always have a conker in my pocket – not a euphemism – but no one plays anymore.
Wooden worry, conker jokes can be prickly hard to come up with.
Don’t keep us dangling, tell us the joke!
Quit horsing around
I’m not going to pull your chestnuts out of the fire.
Don’t forget to prep it before you string it for battles, so you can conker the school yard.
As a child, finding conkers was like finding jewellery….except the value was zilch but the joy unsurpassed!
Oh that old chestnut
Keep going. You’ll come out of your shell soon.
Don’t be too hard on yourself, jokes about conkers are a tough nut to crack
You can apparently grind up sweet chestnuts (not horse ones) and if you want to remind how shit rationing was, there is a recipe for Ersatz coffee using them.
Edit: poster pointed out horse ones are poisonous! So don’t eat those, probably not the best of ideas
I love opening up conkers but they really need to change up the toy. It’s always the same wooden ball!
Can’t knock that joke, it’s nuts
Ahhh memories… Roasting my nuts by an open fire, and other things that got me arrested.
Is that you William??
You tried a pun but it’s chestnut good enough.
did you ever play the N64 game, Conkers big nut day?
We’ll just call you William the Conckerer then
Recipe for a hearty conker stew I’ve just thought of:
* 2 Pints Water, bring to a boil
* Add approx 20 Conkers
* Thinly dice and add 1/2 Onion.
* Season with salt and pepper
* Just remembered conkers are not edible
* Throw it in the bin
Looks like that conkers having a bad fur day
Seems like a hit..🤔
That’s absolutely Conkers!
All the horse chestnuts round here have dropped their leaves already. Conker crop will be low yield round here this year.
A conker was talking to me but it was hard to hear. It was a hoarse chestnut.
Well it’s not they grow in trees now is it
Prick
Saw a kid yesterday wearing a jumper that proudly proclaimed: “BONKERS FOR CONKERS”.
I want one.
Some people pay for conkers
But I get mine from trees
Veni, vidi, vici
> I wanted to write a conker joke..
What’s the best strategy against the divide & conker? yummy!
> (Sorry! 😅)
Made it up just now. Sorry, too!
Don’t worry, Im sure your joke will smash it out the park
Peel back the shell of Reddit, and you’ll always find a nut inside somewhere 🙂
That’s a SMASHING conker!
Found out that americans call these Buckeyes last week. It was a TIL for me
I remarked to my young cousin the other day that there was a great conker tree in the road next to us if he wanted any and I said “But no throwing sticks at the tree to get the best ones at the top OK because its not good for the tree”.
He looked at me like I was batshit insane, asked me why I would throw sticks at trees and what conkers were before going back to playing on his Steam Deck.
Which was about the exact same moment I realised that no kid has probably played conkers since the late 80’s or very early 90’s.
Fuck me I’m old…. 😐
Do kids even still play conkers these days? Or they just all obsessed with devices now.
Have we had the annual “health and safety gone mad!” story about some random headteacher banning them yet?
It’s a great time of year. The trees are full near me and they don’t get the same treatment as they did when I was a kid- we used to throw everything to bring them down. Kids don’t have the same interest so there are some monsters up there. Walk the dog past everyday in the hope of I get a few before the squirrels 🐿️
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