I’m half German and currently on vacation in a small town. The other night, I went for a bike ride with a friend who doesn’t speak German. Around 9 PM, we stopped at a supermarket, bought some drinks, and decided to find a nice spot to sit and relax.

We came across a little bench by a small road near a farm. The bench wasn’t inside the farm, it was just next to the road. Across the road, about 100 meters away, a dog started barking at us. We weren’t being loud or disturbing anyone, just sitting and talking quietly.

After about 5–10 minutes, a woman walked up to us. At first I thought she was just out for a walk and greeting us (because that’s common in small towns), but instead she told us that her neighbors were upset because their dog was barking at us. I politely asked if we were even allowed to sit there, since it looked like a public bench, but she ignored me and got sarcastic and insisted that the dog was disturbing her neighbors only because we were sitting there.

I respectfully told her that it didn’t seem like we were the problem, it was more that the dog wasn’t trained well. At that point she went full Karen mode, saying that if we really didn’t think we were the problem, she could remove her private bench from the property the next day so that no one could use it anymore, even during the day, because of us.

At that point, we just said goodbye and left. The annoying part was I had a full bubble tea, and since I couldn’t ride my bike holding it, we had to walk all the way back. The whole thing felt really unnecessary since we weren’t bothering anyone.

Now I’m wondering: was she actually right, and we were accidentally on her property? The road leads to the town cemetery, and there are signs saying pedestrians and bikes are allowed, just not cars. Honestly, though, if you put a bench there, it seems obvious that people are going to sit on it. So AITA for just sitting there in the evening? It’s sad because I have only had good experiences with Germans so far and everyone seems so nice.

EDIT: I made a little drawing to maybe clear things up lol: https://imgur.com/a/qS6SkQa

by Junior_Journalist337

10 comments

  1. She is the ah. Let her take away the bench and bring some ugly plastic chairs which you. You don’t need her bench. 

  2. I’d be sitting in front of the house for the remainder of my stay, just to make a point.

  4. > we were accidentally on her property?

    It’s possible, yes: you’d need to see the official maps marking the boundaries to know for sure.

    > AITA for just sitting there in the evening?

    No: I agree that this woman was being very unreasonable. Unfortunately, though, if the bench is indeed on her property, she has every right to ask you to leave; and if you refuse, that might technically constitute trespass. On the other hand, from what you describe, any reasonable person would assume that this was a public bench.

    This sounds like one of those cases that you read about in the local news, when a dispute like this goes to court, and for weeks everyone is talking about this ludicrous argument over a bench that happens to be on the wrong side of an imaginary line.

  5. Public benches in Germany are usually pretty solid things made out of steel or concrete and wood. And always either extremely heavy or set into a concrete foundation.

    If the bench looked like a simpler light wooden bench you’d have in your garden, then it was a private bench.

    Note that a pub may have one or more benches outside on the public sidewalk and a public square.

    You might also encounter “public” benches on publicly accessible property, like on schoolyards or on church grounds.

    I once had a dog barking at a friend and me. It was nighttime, and the dog obviously found the constellation unusual. The owner approached, apologized for the dog, and told us to continue with whatever we were doing.

    Another night, another bench, another partner, and at that time I reached legit complaints about the noise (my partner was a bit loud). One neighbor came up and offered us to help collect our clothing items and bring us home. He was so nice that we actually invited him, but he was like “is love to, but my wife would kill me”.

    NTAH, unless you continued to be noisy.

    The Karen may have noticed that you weren’t speaking German (or didn’t look German), so it might have been xenophobia.

    In any case, bubble tea is a strange kink. /s

  6. I think this might be all based on the time of the day. It was already quite late and somewhat you intruded into the private life of others, late on an evening. A lot of people don’t support that.

  7. Write a letter to the local Ordnungsamt to find out 💅🏾

  8. It’s also not a real bike ride unless you get shouted at by a random German for any of the following: riding too fast, riding too slow, riding in an ambiguous trail that may or may not be for bikes, riding on a trail that’s definitely for bikes, but they are walking on it, using the bell, not using the bell, passing too close when they are walking in the middle of a pathway and you have no choice, riding past their kids (responsibly) that they are not paying attention to, having to use a path for any reason whatsoever, locking your bike to the wrong place, putting your bike in front of what looks like a closed shop for two mins while you go into the shop next to it, not wearing a helmet, using a bike lane that they are walking in instead of the path right next to it for pedestrians. 

    All real examples by the way. So the bench thing doesn’t surprise me. 

  9. Sounds like she was having a bad day, or just always has a stick up her butt. I don’t think you did anything wrong, and I wouldn’t worry about it or lose sleep.

    Dogs can be territorial and bark at strangers, that’s one of the reasons they became man’s best friend. So I don’t think it’s that it’s not trained well, it’s kinda doing its exact job. But it seems to me the solution would be for her to shush her dog or bring it inside, not to sarcastically tell you off. It sounds like she didn’t *actually* or clearly tell you to leave? Anyway, based on what you’ve said, it seems there was no reason for her to be so rude here. Sadly, that’s kinda typical German manners. Why be polite or show a smidgeon of understanding, when instead you can be aggressive and point a finger? In Germany, it’s important that you always blame someone else. 🙄

    Nonetheless, if it is her private property and her bench, and it sounds like it was (also by your map), she can do indeed ask you to leave. Does it matter anyway, if you’re just passing by once?

  10. If it was at the outskirts of a village, she may have the dog to warn her of trespassers especially at nighttime. He was doing his Job. Maybe it was not a Public Bench and she did not feel confortable with strangers in her property. It feels reasonable to me for her to ask you to leave. Maybe she could have explained it better.

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