Trump’s Pervy Epstein Bday Card Released & MAGA Allies Run Cover | The Daily Show

Trump’s Pervy Epstein Bday Card Released & MAGA Allies Run Cover | The Daily Show

Welcome to The Daily Show. I’m Michael Kosta. We’ve got so much
to talk about tonight, including the big developments
in the Jeffrey Epstein scandal, a.k.a. the longest episode
of To Catch a Predator ever. [LAUGHTER] Let’s get into it with
our continuing coverage of the very normal
and not shady handling of the Epstein files. [UPBEAT MUSIC] It’s pretty boring stuff. [LAUGHTER] You might remember, back in
July, The Wall Street Journal released a bombshell
report that Trump had given Jeffrey
Epstein a creepy birthday card that suggested the two of
them had a dark sexual secret. Although, obviously, any sexual
secret is a dark sexual secret. No one’s ever been
like, don’t tell anyone, but I like missionary. [LAUGHTER] Now, of course,
Trump completely denied this card even existed. And just to be sure,
they even asked the woman who compiled all
of Jeffrey Epstein’s birthday cards. And luckily, she had
20 years of free time. REPORTER: The messages compiled
by Epstein’s accomplice, Ghislaine Maxwell,
currently serving a 20 year federal prison
sentence for sex trafficking. In a recent interview, she told
Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche, the president’s
former lawyer, that she could not remember
if Trump contributed a message to the book. Well, that sure
is lucky for Trump. He sent his Deputy
Attorney General to privately talk
with Ghislaine Maxwell while she’s in a federal
prison system he controls. And she doesn’t
remember anything incriminating about him? Surprising. What a nice thing for her
to say about the president without receiving
anything in return, right? [LAUGHTER] Right? REPORTER: Maxwell recently
receiving a highly unusual transfer to a minimum
security prison just days after her
interview with the DOJ. Come on, guys.
[BOOING] Come on. Did you have to do
the quid pro quo that fast? You could have
at least waited a week before you sent her
to the prison with the fence you can just slide under. [LAUGHTER] Look at this sign. What the [BLEEP] kind
of prison has a sign like that? Is this prison run
by Texas Roadhouse? [LAUGHTER] This looks like
the sign for a church where the pastor plays
an electric guitar. [LAUGHTER] Also, Camp Bryan? I think my parents took
me there for vacation once when I was eight. That’s the prison with
the big water slide, right? I’m joking. It looks nice, but that
place is brutal. Room service stops at 10:00 PM. So there you have it. The media says
there’s a letter. Trump’s people say there’s not. So I guess we’ll never know
who’s telling the truth REPORTER: Breaking news,
for the first time, we are seeing
an image of the letter signed by Donald
Trump for Jeffrey Epstein’s 50th birthday. So we know who’s
telling the truth. [LAUGHTER] But this is huge. Epstein’s estate
finally released the actual birthday card, and
it’s as creepy as you’d expect. REPORTER: The drawing shows
the outline of a woman’s torso, breasts, and hips with
a message that reads, in part, we have certain
things in common, Jeffrey, and later, enigmas never
age before the closing words happy birthday
and may every day be another wonderful secret. REPORTER: The future
president’s signature is a squiggly Donald below her
waist, mimicking pubic hair. [AUDIENCE GROANS] OK, I know what
we’re all thinking. That’s an excellent drawing. [LAUGHTER] I think Donald Trump might
have a wonderful future as an artist. [LAUGHTER] Look, now, obviously,
that’s a crappy drawing. But as a student of history,
one thing I’ve learned is when a certain
type of person dreams of being
a great artist, we should encourage that instead. [LAUGHTER] [CHEERING] Even without the drawing, that
is a strangely cryptic birthday card, no? Enigmas never age. There’s a wonderful secret. Although, to be fair, it
could be totally innocent. We have certain things
in common could mean anything. What are the things that
we know about Epstein? He was a human trafficker. He was a pedophile. It could be any
of those things. [LAUGHTER] And I see why
Trump’s people denied that this card even existed. But now that we’ve
all seen it, there’s nothing left for them to do
except continue to deny it. REPORTER: The White
House this morning flatly denying the president
drew or signed the message. The president did
not write this letter. He did not sign this letter. From what I see,
it’s not a signature. I’ve seen Donald Trump
sign a million things. REPORTER: This doesn’t look
like his signature to you? Nope. I can tell you
my father does not sketch out cartoon drawings. OK. Hey, I’ll give
Eric Trump a pass. He has no way of knowing what
a birthday card from his father would look like. [LAUGHTER] [CHEERING] But they’re saying it’s
not Trump’s signature. If only we had one
to, I don’t know, one million examples
of his signature that we could compare it to. REPORTER: The far left is
the birthday book signature. The one in the middle is
a Trump signature from a 1999 letter to Larry King. And on the right is
from a signed letter to Rudy Giuliani in 2001. Or these from 1984. in a
letter to The New York Times, 1995 to a Palm Beach
official, 2014 in a note to Keith Olbermann. REPORTER: There’s even
an inscription in a Trump book that Epstein owned from 1997. You’ll see all the basic
shapes are exactly the same. Yes, I see. So if you look at the angle
of the downward arc on the capital D, you
can see that you don’t have to do any of this shit. It’s his signature. It’s his signature. [CHEERING] It’s his. [APPLAUSE] It is funny how they’re fact
checking one piece of evidence with another
pieces of evidence. Like, these guys are
like, if you look closely, Trump’s signature on a birthday
card to his pedophile best friend matches his
signature on a note he wrote to his pedophile best friend. [LAUGHTER] So we have his signature
on this letter. It matches the signature
on all of these other letters. Can you please just admit
he signed the letter? Please, just admit it. Do what’s right. I’m begging you. REPORTER: About
the Epstein case, would the White House support a
professional handwriting expert review of the document released
yesterday to prove that it’s not the president’s signature? Sure, we would support that. And, in fact, I have already
seen many forensic analysts of signatures coming out. I believe it was
The Daily Signal that published a piece with three
separate signature analysts who said that this absolutely
was not the president’s authentic signature. Yes– no. [AUDIENCE BOOING] Yes, I think we have a photo of
the signature analyst who said this wasn’t Donald Trump’s. [LAUGHTER] It’s a credible source. It’s a credible source. [APPLAUSE] This is actually
embarrassing for you guys. Just denying it at this
point is not enough. Does anyone in the GOP want
to help Trump out here? Congressman Burchett? I mean, anybody
can do a signature. We’ve seen the auto pen
has been used quite a bit with the Biden Administration Yeah, that’s what
I’m talking about. That’s what I’m talking about. Go from the signature
to the auto pen to Joe Biden. [LAUGHTER] But I bet you can get
there quicker, though. Sure, these girls
were underage, but you know who was overage? Joe Biden. Boom, did it. [LAUGHTER] OK, so they can’t come up
with a credible excuse. But the truth is, Trump
can probably still wiggle out of this thing as long
as new information stops coming out. A second entry
in the Epstein birthday book released yesterday
appears to mention Donald Trump as well. The page was reportedly
compiled by a member at Mar-a-Lago who included
a photo of Epstein and others holding up a giant fake
check, purportedly from Trump to Epstein for $22,500. The attached letter jokes
that the check was payment for a deal in which Epstein
sold Trump a, quote, “fully depreciated woman” in 2003. [AUDIENCE GROANING] Wow. I am shocked
and frankly disgusted that Joe Biden’s
autopen did this also. That is– [LAUGHTER] But this is wild. [APPLAUSE] This is wild. Trump was such
a notorious creep that other people
were mentioning it in their birthday cards. I’ve never gotten
a birthday card that was like, happy birthday, Michael. Remember our high
school gym coach who always let the girls
have lunch in his office? That was crazy. Anyways, here’s to another
40 more years, pal. [LAUGHTER] Look, I’m not going
to pretend that I completely understand whatever this
gross inside joke is supposed to mean. All I know is it’s
very disrespectful to refer to someone
as a fully depreciated woman. The correct term is
a refurbished woman Pro Max 13. [LAUGHTER] But this whole Epstein
birthday book has made me realize two things. One, this convicted
sex predator got way nicer birthday
cards than I’ve ever received in my entire life. I’m not a fan
of the content, but you can’t deny his friends
put some real effort into it. On the way
to my birthday dinner, my wife makes me
stop at Walgreens so she can buy me a card. Sometimes it’s not
even a birthday card. Oh, thank you, I will have
a great first communion. [LAUGHTER] The second thing I
realized is Trump is playing this thing all wrong. If he just admits that
he wrote this card, everyone could
move on, and then he could do one of his
favorite things of all time, find a way to make
some money out of it. ANNOUNCER: You’ve
seen stories about Donald Trump’s perfect birthday
card to Jeffrey Epstein. And thanks to the new Trump
greeting card collection, you can send
an equally perfect card for all of life’s milestones. Congratulate the graduate
in your life with the message, your future is bright, unlike
our dark and hideous past, complete with a woman’s
body with pubic hair. And get ready for Mother’s Day
with a card that tells her, here’s to a mom who did
it all, including things that God can never know. And don’t forget
the pubic hair. And for the somber moments, we
have comforting messages like, I’m so sorry for the death
of your pedophile father. And for added
respect, these cards have twice the pubic hair. So no matter
the occasion, pick a card from the Trump collection
and make America greet again. Donald Trump denies
the existence of these cards. He’s suing you for $10 billion. [CHEERING]

With Trump’s cryptic and sexually suggestive birthday card to Epstein revealed, Michael Kosta dives into a lazy cover-up by the White House, a possible quid pro quo to buy Ghislaine Maxwell’s silence, and an excuse to blame it on Biden. #DailyShow #Epstein #Maxwell #Trump

0:00 – Michael Kosta’s TDS Welcome
0:29 – Trump Supporters and Ghislaine Maxwell Deny Bawdy Birthday Card to Epstein
2:47 – Epstein Birthday Card Finally Released
4:30 – Trump Admin Denies Epstein Letter
7:23 – GOP Comes to Trump’s Defense
7:58 – A Second Entry of Epstein and Trump Released

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