The biggest shift in culture was the introduction of the Pumpkin Spice Latte by Starbucks. In a few short years, it ended the dominance of apple cider to such an extent that unprompted people don’t associate autumn with apple cider at all. Despite thousands of years of dominance as the Flavor of Fall.
Yet it doesn’t even exist in nature. Pumpkin Spice Lattes are due to combinations of chemicals like cinnamaldehyde and eugenol mixed with potassium sorbate, carrageenan, and sulfiting agents. That is an awesome science win for the world’s most scientifically literate country but I am surprised that weird Vani Hari ‘if I can’t pronounce it I want to ban it’ girl hasn’t gotten Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. to forbid it because it is so scientific.(1)
Art generated by Grok
Since being introduced, Pumpkin Spice Lattes alone have vaulted to $600 million per year in revenue. People who believe ultraprocessed food, red dye, and GMOs give them autism ingest eugenol like its their job, even though the Food and Drug Administration says there is no safe level of it. Just like lead.(2)
Starbucks was so successful they even set off an entire Pumpkin Spice Economy; everything has pumpkin spice in September, and sometimes all throughout the year.
Mmmm, pumpkin spice fish! Whole Foods shoppers will buy anything if they are told it’s recommended by Kennedy’s alternative-to-medicine outfits National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health or National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences.
Today, the first day of autumn, means whoever was not already talking about pumpkin spice probably will be. A 2021 social media analysis found that pumpkin spice conversations beat apple conversations by 6 to 1.
People talk about pumpkin spice when they talk about fall months. Perhaps even about products that are cold weather events, like hunting deer, that didn’t embrace pumpkin spice in the past.
I have not tried these myself but I am told they make deer taste like fall.
Apples are not out of business, they still dominate among fruit in the United States, but in just 22 years apple cider has been taken over by pumpkin spice stuff – with almost 100% greater revenue annually. The only thing pumpkin spice hasn’t eroded is apple cider vinegar, and unless the Government War on Fun prevents it, scientists may be working on that also.
Marketing departments at other fruits have to be wondering where things all went wrong. I imagine the brains behind Angelic Bakehouse Tarragon Vinaigrette Fig Snack Crisps and Loacker Quadratini Hazelnut Cube Wafers had to answer some awkward questions about why Starbucks won and they did not.
Happy Fall Y’all!
NOTES:
(1) Organic pumpkins are no better for your health. They contain diacetyl, which epidemiologists have linked to severe respiratory impairment and incurable obliterative bronchiolitis with just as much legitimacy as they have linked weedkillers to cancer or high-fructose corn syrup and food dye to anything at all.
Want Pumpkin Lung? Buy Organic!
(2) Just like lead, no known safe level does not mean any level is unsafe, but that is what environmental lawyers want you to believe. So they can sue. In reality, the water in the Flint Michigan crisis (that did cause one brain defect, that was not exaggerated) had the same levels of lead as 70% of American water 50 years ago and in a large percent of Europeans now. And eugenol, like salt, may impact you in a smaller amount or may take a large dose to have a negative effect. Human biological variation is too great to use population-level statistics individually.