The People’s Democratic Republic of Putin has announced that the next president of America will be Michael Knight during the week and Mitch Buchannon on Saturdays.
‘This will be a government for the people, by the people, Hoff the people,’ declared White House press secretary Pamela Anderson. ‘And the Vice President will be a talking car.
‘This is what the people of China want. There is nothing more politically intoxicating than hotties in red swimsuits with red cans standing in lifeguard towers casting sultry thousand yard stares to dramatic drumbeat soundtracks. It’s the only time man-nipples work.
‘Anybody who gets into trouble on a jet-ski at the weekend will be saved in slow motion by Mitch and myself personally.
‘Monday to Friday, President Knight will be a lone crusader who operates above the law. And our Turbo Boost Button policies are so popular already, there is no need for anyone to vote on anything.’