NATO chief mocks ‘broken’ Russian submarine as Moscow denies malfunction

https://www.reuters.com/world/europe/russia-denies-malfunction-submarine-that-surfaced-off-france-2025-10-13/

29 comments

  3. > Russia’s Black Sea Fleet said the diesel-powered submarine Novorossiysk had surfaced off France to comply with navigation rules in the English Channel, and rejected reports it had suffered a serious malfunction.

    When Russia says they’re doing something to “comply with rules” then you know they’re absolutely full of fucking shit

  4. They should have added “NATO stands by to render aid to any stricken vessel and her crew” /s

  6. “What a change from the 1984 Tom Clancy novel ‘The Hunt for Red October’. Today, it seems more like the hunt for the nearest mechanic.” – Mark Rutte

    lol

  8. They can’t outpass another great black see’s submarine Moscow

  9. Anyone remember the Kursk? Russian subs have a habit of staying under water longer than planned.

  10. Yasss, I am *here* for the public dragging of Russia. MORE! MORE!

  11. “Broken, nyet, it is merely doing inverse operations!”

  12. It seems the Russian navy has now only one Kursk of action.

  14. Maybe pull into a drydock in Britain or France for repairs?

  16. If its not broken and isn’t limping home for repairs, then it is an enemy vessel perfectly positioned to start a war and should be fired upon.

  17. “we would have sank it but that would be unsportsmanlike”

    Kind of reminds me of those stories of how they had to reschedule Stede Bonnet’s execution several times because he was such a pathetic blubbery mess that they felt bad hanging him until he got his shit together.

  19. Wow, Reuters, wow.

    Your headline shows how upset your news organization is over Rutte’s words.

    Other people would not see what he said as “mocking” Russia.

    Why do your reporters and editors think so?

  20. the article claims “VChK-OGPU” telegram channel leaked the info, but wikipedia says VChK-OGPU is gone.

  21. “Is not broken!”

    “Then why isn’t it moving?”

    “Is… uh…stationary submarine.”

  22. Maybe they want to defect. Quick! Send them Playmate of the Month measurements.

  23. Wasn’t it traveling with a tugboat? I mean it’s like you drove your car and had a tow truck following you everywhere….

  25. The limping bear is truly impressive nowadays. 

  26. Russia has a history of letting its own troops die, and I don’t just mean by sending them into a meat grinder in Ukraine. They had a sub sink, and delayed international attempts to help, turning it down for 4 days (the sub had an estimated 5 day oxygen supply).

    [Undiplomatic Dispatch: Why Has Russia Waited So Long to Ask for Submarine Help? | TIME](https://time.com/archive/6927099/undiplomatic-dispatch-why-has-russia-waited-so-long-to-ask-for-submarine-help/)

    Toss in a decision of pure incompetence (disabling their emergency rescue buoy in a previous mission and not turning it back on), and it gives a good glimpse into just how screwed up it must be to be in the Russian military.

  27. NATO: looks like your sub is broke.

    Russia: no it’s not. it works great.

    NATO: oh yeah? lets see it submerge.

    Russia: it could if it wanted to, we just don’t want it to right now.

  28. *”Eez not malfyunction! Stealth submarine successfully de-cloaked on schedule!”*

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