RBL war veteran, Warren Howell, 51, finally takes his medals out of a drawer – where he’d ‘shoved’ them decades ago (Image: Supplied)
A traumatised Army veteran has finally taken his medals out of a drawer thanks to the Royal British Legion, 30 years after he’d ‘shoved’ them away in guilt over the horrors he saw in Bosnia.
Dad of three Warren Howell said the RBL’s “incredible” support has led to him getting on a plane for the first time in decades. He is now speaking out ahead of Remembrance Day, to urge the nation to support Britain’s largest Armed Forces charity, after they saved his life.
Warren, 51, who has suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder says he has finally put his military photographs and medals up on the wall at his home in Warrington. He had kept them hidden away in a drawer since serving with the Queens Lancashire Regiment and joining the UN peacekeeping force in Bosnia in 1992-93.
Veteran Warren Howell can finally look back at his service with pride after battling with PTSD after witnessing the horrors of war(Image: Supplied)
Warren said: “My military pictures and medals have been shoved in a drawer for thirty years, but I’ve mounted them on the wall after returning from the RBL’s Veteran’s Course at their Battle Back Centre in Lilleshall. It had a massive impact on me.
“Healing takes time, and it’s taken me thirty years to put those pictures up on the wall.When I finally did, I felt a sense of pride.
“I have very few photos left as I trashed a lot when I first came back, I couldn’t bear to look at the reminders.
Warren Howell was in Bosnia for ‘Operation Grapple Two’, which he said “took its toll on a lot of soldiers”(Image: Supplied)
“It’s still raw, because that particular tour in Bosnia, ‘Operation Grapple Two’, took its toll on a lot of soldiers, and a few of the lads on those pictures have killed themselves since. I tried to take my own life, too, but had a lucky escape.”
A two minute silence will be held on Remembrance Day next Tuesday and The King will lead the nation in remembering those who have died in world wars and other conflicts at the National Service of Remembrance next Sunday.
Talking about the horrors he witnessed in Bosnia, Warren told The Mirror: “Our aim was to protect food and aid deliveries to isolated villages, but Bosnia was a difficult conflict, they were trying to starve people out, there was ethnic cleansing, there were concentration camps, it had echoes of World War Two.
“We would go into villages to observe and monitor, but I was traumatised as a result of it. I saw burnt bodies, pregnant women tortured and tied to trees, whole villages massacred, including children.
Warren Howell, 51, is urging the nation to help fundraise for the Royal British Legion who helps save veterans like him(Image: Supplied)
“We would stay in these ravaged villages overnight with the sights and smells until the investigators arrived.
“You switch into your training at first because you have a job to do and you don’t realise the damage it does psychologically until afterwards.
“I saw burnt bodies, pregnant women tortured and tied to trees, whole villages massacred, including children.
“You don’t forget things like that. There was a lot of guilt from some of the things I witnessed but couldn’t prevent.
Veteran Warren Howell was just a teenager when he saw the devastation in Bosnia(Image: Supplied)
“When I came back, things got worse, I was having nightmares, flashbacks, I was angry all the time, frustrated because I didn’t know what was wrong with me, I couldn’t sleep, I was drinking to excess and heading on a downward spiral.”
He ultimately sued the government for negligence in the High Court, but his case took 16 years to be successfully resolved.
Tragically, he was not alone and says he has lost several colleagues, including a close friend, from the same tour.
Warren, who is married to wife Joy, 53 and who have five children between them, says the RBL helped save him.
He said: “The RBL helped me to understand that PTSD tries to make you live the way that PTSD wants you to, avoiding social situations, keeping yourself protected and locked in, so that makes every day a challenge, but you can push yourself to do more. It’s a full-time job, but you have to keep going.”
About why it is important to raise funds for the RBL he said: “It’s important, because all the money does go towards helping serving and veterans and their families, it does save lives. “
He explained how ten years ago, the RBL supported him by providing furniture and kitchen equipment for his home and the charity also paid for a holiday for the family providing respite.
But more recently, Warren spotted a Facebook post promoting the RBL’s Battle Back course and he signed up.
Veteran Warren Howell said the RBL’s Veteran’s Course at their Battle Back Centre in Lilleshall helped restore his pride in his service(Image: Supplied)
Warren said: “Battle Back changed everything for me, it felt like tapping into my old self. I had lost all of that due to my trauma in Bosnia, but now I’m in a much better place, thanks to the RBL.
“I even got on a plane for the first time in 30 years to go on holiday to Benidorm, I could never have done that before because of my PTSD.”
He explained how in Bosnia, there was an incident when he got trapped in a Warrior Armoured Vehicle.
“We were getting shelled and couldn’t get out – that incident stopped me getting on a plane. I couldn’t stand being enclosed but I’ve finally overcome that, with Battle Back’s help.
“The RBL’s Recovery Team are inspirational, they give you all these different tools to cope with your issues.
“They’ve dealt with all sorts of veterans, and they can help anyone. It’s about being brave and taking that first step, if you need help it has to come from you and no-one else.”
Warren said he remembers going back to his parents’ house in Littlehampton at the end of 1993 and “just locking myself away. “
“When I returned to my regiment, things just got worse, and I didn’t know what was wrong with me. The army told me to keep ‘soldiering on’ and put me on light duties, away from any weaponry, whilst I saw counsellors and psychiatrists but they kept shoving the issues under the carpet.
“When I was 19 or 20, I tried to commit suicide in our married quarters, still not realising I actually had PTSD.
“I was told I had a personality disorder so then they discharged me: ‘Services No Longer Required’ rather than a medical discharge, so me and my wife were booted out of our home.”
He would lock himself away “because of paranoia, too terrified to leave my front door. “
But after seeing an article about Gulf War syndrome, he managed to track down Dr David Jones, an expert forces psychiatrist who held clinics at local RBL clubs, and he was finally diagnosed with PTSD in his mid 20s.
“After all these years, the PTSD is still there, but the symptoms are much less.
“I have been so lost but now I’m in a much better place, thanks to the RBL. “It’s still raw, because that particular tour in Bosnia really took its toll on a lot of soldiers, and a few of the lads on those pictures have killed themselves.
“I had a lucky escape myself, of course, so Remembrance is very important to me, to remember those lads, not just in November, but every day.”