Epstein Bill Has Trump & Co. Freaking Out & Melania Delivers AI War Cry | The Daily Show

Epstein Bill Has Trump & Co. Freaking Out & Melania Delivers AI War Cry | The Daily Show

Last night, Trump signed the
Epstein File Transparency Act into law. It was the first
step towards proving that there’s no
connection between him and Jeffrey Epstein. Unfortunately, he signed
the bill like this. [LAUGHTER] [CHEERING] Not again. So now this bill is a law. It’s fully legal. Or as Megyn Kelly would
probably call it– 16. In the meantime,
Pam Bondi has opened a new investigation
into Epstein’s relationships with Democrats. And it’s not just because Trump
ordered her to on Twitter for the whole world to see. No. That’s not why. She had a perfectly good
explanation for that that she’s not
nervous about at all. REPORTER: What changed
since then that you launched this investigation? Information that has come– information. Um. There’s information
that– new information, additional information. [LAUGHTER] Perfect answer. It was perfect. What– what part
of information– in the information– [STAMMERING] do
you not understand? Also at the briefing
was FBI chief podcaster Kash Patel, who– [LAUGHTER] –seems to think that if he
stands still long enough, we won’t notice that he’s
a part of this whole thing. [LAUGHTER] I mean, I’ve heard
of a thousand-yard stare, but this dude looks like he
could see to China right now. Hey, Kash, could you check
in on my family in Malaysia while you’re at it? I mean, what’s my mom doing? Actually, no. Don’t– don’t look at my mom. But Pam Bondi isn’t the only
Trump official investigating Democrats and [BLEEP] it up. We also got Lindsey
Halligan, whom Trump made his personal
lawyer after he saw her on a golf course in a suit,
which sounds like a joke, but it’s not. She’s now a US attorney
leading his crusade against James Comey. And she’s crushing it. REPORTER: The case against
former FBI director James Comey may be in jeopardy. Lindsay Halligan,
the inexperienced prosecutor President Trump
handpicked for the job but who has never
tried a criminal case, admitted she never showed
the entire grand jury the indictment it was
supposed to have approved. WOMAN: It’s a mistake
that could end up getting the case thrown out entirely. It turns out the unqualified
lawyer [BLEEP] up the case. I mean– [LAUGHTER] This is how Legally Blonde
would have gone if it was real. [LAUGHTER] It’s like, uh, well, I’ve
never tried a case before, but I’m going to do my best. Case dismissed.
You are disbarred. Roll credits. [LAUGHTER] In her defense,
how is she supposed to know she has
to show the indictment to the whole grand jury, OK? They almost never show
that part on Suits. But let’s move on to one
of Trump’s friends who never gets anything
wrong, Elon Musk. He’s been away for a while. But this week, he was
back at the White House for a state dinner. And I’m glad Trump
and Elon made up. Because love him
or hate him, Elon is the richest guy in the
world, so you have to love him. And if you doubt Elon’s
greatness, just ask his own AI. REPORTER: After some
apparent reprogramming, Elon Musk’s Grok AI
is now telling users that Musk ranks among
the top 10 minds in history, rivaling
da Vinci or Newton. Grok also claims that Musk’s
lean and wiry physique, while not Olympian, places
him in the upper echelons and that he edges out
LeBron James in, quote, “holistic fitness.” [LAUGHTER] [CHEERING] That’s right. Elon Musk is in better
shape than LeBron James. And that shape is trapezoid. [LAUGHTER] I mean, AI is everywhere. When it came time
this week to speak to the troops about AI warfare,
Trump sent the obvious choice from the White House to do it. First Lady Melania
Trump offering a warning about the impacts
of AI on the battlefield. Melania Trump. [LAUGHTER] What is the first lady doing
talking about AI and warfare? I mean, she should be doing
normal first lady things, like calling kids fat,
or calling kids druggies, or calling kids stupid. But OK, let’s see what
she has to say about this. AI will alter
war more profoundly than any technology
since nuclear weapons. The shift from soldiers to
machines is already underway. Autonomous helicopters,
swarming drones, and recon aircraft are here now. Fighterless jets and autonomous
bombers are on the way. Happy Thanksgiving. Thank you. [LAUGHTER] [APPLAUSE] Wow. Uh. The new Terminator
movie is weird as hell. I mean– [LAUGHTER] –I can’t even tell if she’s
for or against this future that she’s describing. Like, maybe she’s just
waiting to see who wins and then declare her allegiance. She’s like, (SLOW AND SINGSONG)
the robots will destroy us. And that good or bad– we’ll see. [LAUGHTER] And finally, big news
from the secretary of transportation, Sean Duffy. The FAA has had a lot
of problems recently– worker shortages,
system failures, mixing up the sky
and the ground. But luckily, Sean’s
got a solution that will fix everything. REPORTER: The Department
of Transportation is urging airline passengers
to be on our best behavior. Let’s bring civility
and manners back. Ask yourself, are you
helping a pregnant woman put her bag in the overhead bin? Are you dressing with respect? Are you saying thank
you to your flight attendants and your pilots? Are you saying please
and thank you in general? [LAUGHTER] Are manners the most
important thing for the FAA to be dealing with right now? This would be like if,
in the middle of Vietnam, Henry Kissinger said, hey,
everyone, just here to say, chew with your mouth closed. OK? But Duffy is right. We should all be
more civilized, including the president,
who just today posted, hang the Democrats. Does that sound polite to you? No. It should be, please
hang the Democrats. Thank you. [LAUGHTER] But they are really committing
to this civility campaign. They even released
a whole video about how they want to take air
travel back to the golden age. # Come fly with me # # Let’s fly # # Let’s fly away # MAN: Air travel is a miracle
of American ingenuity. We respected the dignity
of air travel and the men and women who
made the dream possible. Flying was a bastion
of civility. But today– [DRAMATIC MUSIC] [BLEEP] MAN: Oh my god. WOMAN: Oh my god. WOMAN: Oh. [SHOUTING] Yeah.
Get him. [BLEEP] him up. [LAUGHTER] Hey. I mean, it’s nice
to see Americans being physically active. [LAUGHTER] I know flying isn’t as classy
as it was in the 1950s. But at least with
these passengers, 9/11 is not going to happen again. All right? Because no way
a bunch of terrorists can defeat four angry
Karens in their pajamas. [LAUGHTER] They’re going to be like, I
got a box cutter too, bitch. [LAUGHTER] For more on the new
airline civility efforts, we go live to Reagan National
Airport with Michael Kosta. [CHEERING] Michael. Michael, what’s
the mood over there? Oh, man. It is great, Ronny. I’m glad Sean Duffy’s taking
air travel back to the 1950s. Everything was
better back then. More men wore hats. Women’s boobs looked
like torpedoes. And cigars didn’t
cause cancer yet. It was the best.
Mm. OK. Well, the 1950s weren’t
good for everyone. Yeah. OK. Obviously, I don’t
mean the racial stuff. We’re not going
to go back to that. Blah, blah, blah. Sean Duffy only wants
the classy airplane stuff from the ’50s, like dressing up and
sitting in huge seats with lots of legroom while
you eat a steak dinner with
old-school Coca-Cola that has cocaine in it. Wait, where did you get
Coca-Cola with cocaine? Uh. Well, this one was kind
of a DIY situation. [LAUGHTER] Whoo!
Huh? Brraah! This fat cat is zooted Whoo! OK. Hey. Kosta, I think you
misunderstood this campaign. All right? You’re not getting
extra legroom, and you’re not getting
a steak dinner. Well, if we’re out
of steak, lobster’s fine. No. There’s no lobster. You get nothing. Sean Duffy just wants
travelers to be more civil. He’s not doing anything
about the actual airplanes. OK? That’s fine, I guess,
as long as I can still walk up to the gate 10
minutes before a flight and pay cash for a one-way
ticket for me and my gun. That will still be nice. No. The airports aren’t
changing either, OK? You still got to do TSA
and all that security shit. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So I have to be in the 1950s,
but the airlines get to be in 2025? Yes. I’m sorry. Well, can I still call
the stewardess toots? No. Well, can I call her dame? – No.
– Dollface? – No.
– Kitten? No. Sugar tits? No. Sugar breasts? – No.
– Toots? You said that one already. You can’t call them
any of the many, many derogatory– yet
somehow commonly used– terms for women in the 1950s. You know, this–
this makes me so– it makes me so mad. That’s it. I’m going to go
change into Crocs and punch a baggage handler.
Yeah. No. Michael, you can’t
do that either. You’re right. You’re right. This is 2025. I’m going to save
it for the plane. Michael Kosta, everyone.

Ronny Chieng dives into Trump’s signing of the Epstein Files Transparency Act, Pam Bondi’s shell-shocked statements about a new Epstein investigation aimed at Democrats, U.S. Attorney Lindsey Halligan’s monumental screwup in the Comey case, Grok’s ego-stroking of Elon Musk, and Melania Trump’s unlikely speech to Marines about AI warfare. Plus, Michael Kosta looks into Transportation Sec. Sean Duffy’s current problem with air travel: bad manners. #DailyShow #RonnyChieng #Trump #Epstein

0:00 – Trump Signs the Epstein Files Transparency Act
0:29 – Pam Bondi Starts Investigation into Epstein’s Relationships with Democrats
1:40 – Lindsey Halligan Makes Major Comey Case Screwup
2:50 – Elon Musk Heads Back to the White House
4:00 – Melania Trump Warns Troops About AI Warfare
5:35 – Sean Duffy Claims Air Travel Needs Better Manners
7:57 – Michael Kosta Weighs in on the New Airline Civility Effots

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