‘Tis the season for family holiday gatherings … and polarizing politics.

About 1 in 5 Americans has reported becoming estranged from a family member because of disagreements over controversial topics, including politics. That’s according to a survey conducted by the American Psychiatric Association last fall, and there’s little evidence the political divide has narrowed.

Navigating tense discussions at holiday gatherings

There are ways to navigate discussions that threaten to be spicier than the family holiday dinner.

“Holiday gatherings are not the time for you to try to change somebody’s mind,” Katrina Egner, President and CEO of SOUND Behavioral Health, said.

Instead, Egner said, be curious about that person’s politics. Ask questions to steer the conversation into more of an exchange of ideas.

If that doesn’t appear to be working, try changing the subject.

“If you’re there and Aunt Betty has cornered you in the kitchen, tell her how much you like her necklace and how you’ve taken up beading,” she said.

You can also try the frank approach, saying, “You know we’re here to celebrate and spend time together and talk about things we love. How about we do that?”

Egner said it’s also important to remember there are things you can control and things you can’t.

“One of the things that’s in our control is who we choose to spend time with, who we choose to be around. We may feel a lot of pressure to be with certain family members at the holiday. In the end, that’s your decision. That is your choice,” she said.

She said it’s OK to send flowers or a card and just opt out of the family gathering altogether.

“That’s OK. Those are called boundaries. And boundaries are not bad. They’re incredibly healthy, and it’s very important to recognize what yours is and how you can honor your own,” Egner said.

Read more of Heather Bosch’s stories here.